I’ve rarely seen a marital split where both parties aren’t equally responsible, in their own ways. That said, because of the way our society looks at sex, when there’s an affair, all the blame seems to fall on the active affair partner. We have not come so far from The Scarlet Letter.

Finally, the results page will give you specific advice related to your own unique breakup scenario, as well as information on how you can improve your current standings in the eyes of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

My ex broke up with me almost five months ago (over the phone, after being together for 1.5 years), and it devastated me. For about the first 2.5 months, I made a lot of mistakes, but have been good for the past two months. Over the last two months, I’ve made a lot of progress, but still miss her a lot. I truly think we could work things out, though her reasoning for leaving were that we fought a lot, I’m too invested in my career, she doesn’t want to move and scared of being a single mother in the future because my career involves traveling. She also mentioned that I was controlling.

Hi the NC seems to be working. At work she told me she misses me and missed my kisses. She also hinted of wanting to get back together. What should I do? Should I continue the NC rule? or just go with the flow ?

I got a 9/11 on this quiz and it tells me he still has feelings for me and i just texted him saying “do you still like me” and he was like yes! and he waited forever for me to say that and now were boyfriend and girlfriend and i feel like he’s going to proprose to me on my birthday aghhhhh i’m so excited!!!!!!!!!

Perhaps the lack of time in spending with her, and also a new colleague of her appearing, took a liking in her, did things better than me to her(lots of things i did for her during the earlier parts of our relationship) and has a stronger financial backing than me.

Chances are, you’ve already made at least one of these mistakes after the breakup. Don’t worry, even the wisest monks in the Himalayas and masters of psychology from Harvard usually end up making these mistakes after a breakup. It’s just in the nature of human beings to try and hold on to something that is precious to them. So don’t beat yourself over it. The most important thing for you to do right now is to realize that these mistakes will not help you get him back and stop doing them right away. Move on to the next step of the plan which is going to repair all the damage you’ve caused till now.

The whole point of No Contact is to avoid conversations with her, general or relationship wise until you feel more sorted out emotionally to deal with things rationally. The only conversations that is encouraged is if it’s a serious issue (financial matters, divorce paperwork, children, etc). You should tell her that you would like some space since the relationship has ended to work on yourself.

“I’m told that there are two people who have created this negative dynamic, and yet I feel like the only person being punished here. I’m locked out of my own house, living in a small lousy room away from my things, my comforts, my bed, and my wife, the only person who means anything to me in Denver. I am living like a gypsy …

I absolutely connect with a lot of what you said in the article about working through your feelings and trying to actually make positive changes that will help you in the long run, no matter what happens.

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Nicole Scherzinger and Lewis Hamilton also fuelled reconciliation rumours when they enjoyed a night out in London together. The couple dated off and on since 2007 until February of this year (pictured in 2014)

My ex boyfriend keeps hanging around our hood,he has friends there. I have a baby boy with him and hes 6months. When he sees me he looks down and doesn’t talk yo us. I’ve practised no contact with him for two months and since I work I only meet with him accidentally once in a while. I still Love him. But I dont show emotions when I see him. What could be going on his mind? Is he over me? Still not talking. We datrd for a year.

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When a relationship ends either both parties end up hating each other, they continue to care for one another but acknowledge it will never work and move in their own directions, or one continues to pine for the other. The last scenario is always the most difficult (at least, for the one pining) and can make an already painful process even more brutal. Sometimes, however, these cases do come to a happy conclusion and the other person also decides the relationship is worth fighting for. But how can you know if this is the way your story will unfold?

My name is Kevin, and I am here to help you through this painful breakup and hopefully get your ex back. I say hopefully because I can’t guarantee you that you will get your ex back. I can, however, guarantee that if you follow this plan, your chances of getting your ex back will increase significantly.

So this is my story, I met a girl in college who is a couple years younger than me and throughout that year and the next we just had an unbelievable relationship. We would talk everyday and occasionally see each other on weekends. I knew she liked me through her friends and she knew I liked her, but we never were official boyfriend and girlfriend, but there were times when we both hinted at that outcome. I told her that I want her in my life and she wanted me to be in her life, but not in the same way. I texted her saying I couldn’t be just friends with her and that I’ll always have love for her because she was the first person I fell in love with in my life. 8 months ago I made a huge mistake and went over to her house back home unannounced and did it so no one would know I was there to drop off a handwritten letter after texting her; I went over to her house 3 times because the first two times I was afraid of what she would think if I did that when I hadn’t been over there before. This mistake backfired on me and she found out I had been stopping by her house a couple times before, and it creeped her out now she has blocked me on every social media accounts and I haven’t talked to her in 8 months. I’ve been thinking a lot about her like everyday morning, during, and at night before I go to sleep, and even dream about her. I know she isn’t my ex but in other peoples eyes she was definitely more than just a friend to me, and I want nothing more to have her back in my life, but I’m pretty sure she hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. What should I do? I moved across country for work, but found out some family stuff is going on that I might have to move back home to where she and I both live, and I know that once I do I’ll be reminded of the fact that I lost the only girl I cared about and it is killing me inside. Asking for advise on what to do, and if there is anything I can do to make her trust me again and hopefully someday have her back in my life

The quiz below measures how trusting you are. It is based on a “trust scale” developed by psychologists at the University of Waterloo in Canada. Think of someone with whom you have a close relationship, then answer as honestly as possible about how much you agree or disagree with each of the following statements.

I don’t know if he will ever be back. He broken up with me 2 months ago due to many quarrels and pressure and he wanted his space and i did not gave him. I regretted and did ask for a second chance and he says he can never turn back anymore and give that second chance he says when a knot is broken its broken. Kept in contact with him but seems like he is not really interested in me anymore so i tried to distant myself by not texting him and borther about him. Its the 10 day today and still nothing from him. I have a blog and he seems like he has been reading my blog almost everyday. I mostly updated about missing him but stopped talking about us ever since i stop contacted him. What should i do.. Will he come back again..

I cheated on my bf two years ago when we first started dating and he forgave me and said he moved on. a year later we got a little shaky and I got vulnerable and did it again. again, he forgave me and moved on. we have been a super happy couple up until 3 weeks ago, when I made a small mistake of posting an explicit picture on Tumblr. He got angry with me and I got it removed before people reposted it so that it wasn’t floating around anywhere out there. He forgave me again and said that he was staying with me because he loved me so much. I am also going to Cali for college and he was scared I would cheat on him there but I told him that I changed my ways and I showed him all the ways I had and proved myself and it seemed like he was gaining my trust back, but this Tuesday he dumped me and said that he couldnt go on in life thinking about those things bc not a day passed that he didn’t. and went on about how bad I hurt him. I understand but why hold something against me from so long ago that I know I wouldn’t do again because I changed. as I am a senior and so is he, he is in my same classes. all of them. he treats me like I am the plague and I know by contacting him all the time I’m making things worse. he tells me we will never get back together and to just accept that and move on, but moving on for me is hard. for him he was over it the next day. said it didn’t hurt him at all to dump me and that he’s not in pain anymore now that we aren’t together. but he said that sometimes he thinks about us and is reminded, it just doesn’t make him miss me or bother him. I asked if he cared about me or loved me anymore and he just says no. part of me thinks it’s all to cover up his feelings about the break up so he’s putting up a shield. like maybe he thinks that if he’s mean to me that I’ll move on bc I think he might be scared that he will give into me and get back together. but idk if he’s hurt it truly forgot the whole 2 and a half years we have spent together. I don’t feel like you could just get over it in a day. and just turn your feelings off. in very confused. when he’s not with his friends he seems a little.. sad maybe. idk how to describe it. I need help.

You are wrong in thinking that the purpose of no contact is to remind your ex of the good times. In fact, no contact rule has very little to do with your ex. It has everything to do with you. Its for you to give yourself some time and space so you can work on becoming a better version of yourself.

It can build up your self confidence- Dating other people helps you feel a little bit more confident. Knowing that someone finds you attractive is always a great feeling. Not to mention the person you may be on the date with might be extremely fun.

Hello, after a relationship of 2 years with my bestfriend (since 5 years) I heard from one of his mate he was already with this girl from his class. I taught she was a rebound because 3 weeks after the breakup they already were dating. My ex told me that he would tell me if he has a new girlfriend but he never told about her. But now I think she is more than a rebound.. It’s been 2 months and they follow the familymembers on instagram. I don’t understand him, why doesn’t he just tell me he has a new girlfriend? I’m the kind of person who wants always the best for the other person. I told him I want him to be happy, even if it’s not me who makes him happy. We had a fight last month because I still had contact with one of his best friends. He told me he could not party with me on NYE because he couldn’t be drunk in the same room as me (we have a lot of common friends). I wrote him a letter to say I’m okay with the breakup and I think it’s for the best to give each other space. He didn’t respond on the letter, but after that he puts more snapchats in our friends group to make me look at it. I don’t understand him?

Hang in there. Continue to work on yourself and don’t linger in the past, if she moves on, so should you. And if your decision is to only come back if she contacts you, then it’s a good idea to move on in the mean time because you don’t know if it will ever happen or not.

You should first figure out why she lost interest in you. No contact is meant for you to focus on picking yourself up and not simply giving her space. If you’re able to contact her and face rejection without falling apart, that’s how you’ll know that no contact worked. Since your NC period is ending soon, you could always drop her a casual text and maybe even ask to catch up sometime. Everything isn’t going to fall in place after one day of talking again after a breakup and you’ll have to slowly nurture her back into wanting you, which is why it’s so important to be able to face her without the fear of falling apart every time she pulls away or is cold towards you.

If you don’t believe in the no contact rule then all I can say to you is that you had better start believing in it. Remember above when I said I spent a lot of time researching this topic? Yea well, I only took a look at credible sources and every one and I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE recommends the no contact rule.

Notice how I didn’t specify if this friend was a male or female. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date.

I decided to chime in here quickly, according to Kris S the girl did not really “cheat” on him but rather “messed” with fellow guy he didn’t like, AFTER the break-up. That act he considered unloyal and therefore he’s feeling not respected. In this case, I would consider this as a rebound relationship in order to get over the relationship with you, Kris S, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Eventually she’s free to do what she wants apfter the break-up and it has nothing to do with you but with her.

Early life experiences form templates for later experiences. Peter’s reactions to his current situation consequently repeated the abandonment feeling he had felt as a kid whose parents wanted him to be seen but not heard.

My ex boyfriend & I have dated for 1 yr 8 months.we study on same campus & we moved in together after an year of dating.on the month of August we were on holiday.one evening we were chatting as usual then he happened to talk to me in a rude way.i then corrected him but he insisted tht he wasn’t rude & tht he won’t apologise.i got so angry and decided to keep quite.the following morning ,with no bad intention i called him and asked him why he wouldn’t admit his mistake.this resulted in2 the worst urguement ever.he said that i only complain abt his mistakes &only focus on his bad side, that i don’t appreciate him.we stayed without talking until the holiday was over.we reported back to sch on sep and told me he want us to break up & move on as grown ups.i insisted that he should give me a chance to correct my mistakes.he then said i didn’t do him any wrong.he gave a reason tht the r/ship wasn’t working.deep down me i knew things weren’t right & so i started working on myself.i bought him an expensive gift to show that i appreciate him.he accepted the gift bt told me that he wanted to live his life the way he want & party alone with his male friends.i let him do that &supported him by paying for the night-outs since he wasn’t well financially.i did that because I wanted him happy.that has been going on for a month.but he hasn’t changed his mind about the break up.he said that we should live separately and actually he has started looking for his own house.yesterday he went ahead & deleted my photos from his instagram.i got angry & asked him about it.he became rude & bitter saying that we r nt dating anymore &told me to move on.when i ask him for a second chance to become a better girlfriend he insists that I’ve not done him any wrong.he says he don’t want to date,he don’t want any girl in his life,he don’t want anything to do with love.he says there are many things he want with his life &that he wants to be on his own.i feel so much pain.i’ve given up on him.actually I’ve hurt so much while fighting for him &convincing him to stay.im so broken and I’ve told him that he will never hear again from me.why is he doing this?whats happening? Will he ever come back or want to be in a relationship with me again?help me please.thanks

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Several studies found that men are quicker to feel they’re in love than women. One survey found that most men know if it’s love after just 1 date, the rest know within 3. Women, on the other hand, wait at least a month before making up their minds. Men, too, are usually the first to say “I love you.”