First of all getting back together with your ex because you are lonely is not a good idea. What you are experiencing is just one of the symptoms of breakup. Everyone feels like this. And it doesn’t last forever. Secondly, acting like this is only going to make your ex less attracted to you. And even if they do feel pity for you, they are not going to get back together because of it.
My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. The reason he broke up with me was because he said I was immature and I didn’t take him seriously. So when he broke up with me we didn’t talk until and like 4 days later I found out he was dating his ex again. So we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and I went to his house (my parents and his parents get along very well). He was acting so nice to my parents but he didn’t say a word until I got a message from him and he was apologizing about everything he did and of course I forgave him. So that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. After the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then I asked him what we were and he said whatever I wanted and I said we can try this again if you want. After I left his house we were still talking and I decided to ask him about his ex. He told him he still had feelings for her and I asked why he was with me and he told me because I reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly I was being like her. I got really mad and we broke again. But we still talked cause we ended up being friends. One time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me. But the next day he didn’t talk to me again. We lasted for a very long time without talking but I noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. So I got tired of that and didn’t talk to him no more. I decided I needed to move on but it took me along time since I still have really strong feelings for and even when I got a boyfriend I still had feelings for him. Barely this passed Saturday I saw him again. It was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. I wanted to cry so bad because I remembered all our dates and every single time we said i love you’s. And I thought I was over him but I’m still not I still love him with all my heart. What can I do to get back with my ex???
The point isn’t just that you get your ex back, but that you KEEP him. Often folks just have sex again, once or twice, but things don’t work out and they end up breaking up again. So don’t take anything for granted. Make sure he has the best night of his life when you make up, but after that don’t drop into your “old” relationship with your ex, instead – create something new.
When someone says “think positive”, that means there’s absolutely nothing negative to think. And when there’s nothing negative to feel, you will not have any negative emotions. How can you have negative emotions when you only think happy and positive thoughts?
If you are not interested in dating others or leading them on, meet up with groups for movie night or spend time with a friend of the opposite sex. Just being around others who are single might be enough to make your ex a bit jealous.
We can all be the master of our own domains. It’s just a matter of thinking differently and reframing certain things in ways that allow us to communicate emotionally in a much more efficient fashion. It’s comparable to learning a new language, say Spanish or French. But this language is emotional and you need a different kind of eyeglasses to speak this fluently.
You had a choice to dismiss all the obstacles and challenges in your relationship. You had a choice to think positively the entire time you were together. You had a choice to never doubt him and his love for you. You had a choice to think you’re deserving. You had a choice to control your thoughts. You had a choice to focus only on the mental image of the two of you in perfect relationship.
Hang in there, and focus on recovering right now. If you want her back in your life, you’re going to have to make changes to yourself especially on areas she didn’t like. You should take some time off from her and distance yourself right now to work on your own issues, before trying anything again.
This was really good. I wish you had written this two years ago. I made all the mistakes you mentioned here, but your article brought me closure. Just knowing it’s beyond repair sort of makes me feel better now. I can move on. We just stopped talking for good, though we broke up long back. I had enough of him beating around the bush. What really spoke to me was that you married an ex you broke up with 11 years ago, that you both worked on yourself while you were apart. I no longer wish to get back with my ex, even though back then I thought he was the one. But at least from your story I can tell if it’s mean to be, it just falls in place. I no longer feel hurt I had been carrying for the last two years.
The above “tactic” (stop feeling sorry for yourself) was really kind of a mean pep talk. This tactic is actually a real tactic. Remember the fork in the road? Well, one fork in the road that I see women faced with all the time is the “fitness” fork in the road.
If you can’t get over your ex boyfriend, from experience, the best thing to do is to look for new things to do. Find something that can keep your mind off of it or something that makes you feel better about yourself. You can start small. Try to improve yourself. Know that life keeps going and you need to make yourself happy.
I want you to do me a favor. Think back on the last 24 hours, the time that precipitated your mad Google search for how to get him back after a breakup. What has your state of mind been like? What have you been feeling? Thinking? Doing?
Reason #2 – Creates Feeling of Loss: Another reason to use no contact is, it helps in developing the feelings of loss in your ex boyfriend’s mind. Your boyfriend will start thinking why she is not calling me. He will start getting second-guessing to his decision of breaking up with you. Once he starts getting these second-guessing thoughts it will be great helpful for you.
This will obviously work against you – by driving him further away and reinforcing in his mind that he doesn’t want you in his life. Even if it feels good in the short run as a cathartic release of pain and frustration, in the long run it will surely drive him away from you forever.
Now, breaking up is never really easy to do. But for some, the process of getting over a failed relationship can linger a little longer than for others, which sometimes begs the loaded question: why can it be so difficult to get over an ex?
I have been thinking about what to text him. Not sure about that white lie I mentioned earlier. It was something to do with a video game he likes. I am stressing what if he won’t reply. Well.. I should stop over analyzing and worrying makes me feel even worse.
There are time tested, proven strategies that you can start implementing immediately to get him back regardless of your past with him and no matter what might have caused your breakup. You CAN learn to win him back and get him back for good. Trust me when I say we (men) are easier to win over than we let on to be.
Surround yourself with people who love, care for, and understand you. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with them. The more your support system understands what you are going through, the more helpful they can be.You may even find comfort in the fact that you can open up to and trust them, rather than depending on your ex boyfriend.
You guys weren’t together for a long time so him moving on would be dependent on how meaningful the 2 months were. Typically someone blocking you would be his way of wanting to avoid you, and this could because you were acting needy by trying to change his mind. Continue with NC but spend this time to work on your issues, and at the end of it, if he has unblocked you, you could try initiating contact to see where he stands. Bear in mind that there is a small likelihood he has moved on already due to the length of the relationship, and may have blocked you as a way of ‘indicating’ those feelings.
Always keep in mind, an attractive women to a man is someone who knows how to balance being independent and shows his softer vulnerable so his boyfriend able to ‘protect’ her. Even if you don’t want to be protected by anyone then still you have to show some vulnerability to awaken your man’s natural protection ability. A man who protects you is a man who is deeply connected with you in a relationship.
The last of the things you want to do in such occasion is to become hasty and nervous. Do not let the fear of losing your boyfriend overcome you. Just keep calm and cool. Shake hands well enough to let her know that you were never ever in close touch with the man.