Watch actions, don’t listen to words. No matter how much your ex promises he’ll never touch another drop of booze, or another woman, or will definitely get a job this time, don’t listen to anything. Watch to see how he behaves. Remember it’s his actions in the relationship that will determine everything. And watch for changes before agreeing to another chance.
Hey Bro, I feel your pain…. I met an amazing girl and I love her a lot, and we broke up recently. She moved to another country recently and stopped talking to me so we broke up :/. And to be honest sure everyone says it’s easy to move on. But when it’s true love it’s different, sure it might not be “True” love but you want it to be. I personally love my EX and we broke up and it hurts like shit. I know another girl now I’m dating, I love her and she loves me, but I always think about what would’ve been with my EX. I don’t even want her back, but just to know she’s safe and not lost with other players and jerks. So I decided to tell her the truth and I’m getting her back slowly, she’s amazing and always will be. But trust me, just tell her the truth, get her somewhere and tell her what she means to you. If it works then it’s good and if not… only then is it time to move on. And trust me, I mean it 100% when I say I know how you feel bro. I may be Muslim and you may not be. I may be different but I feel you bro. Were guys and I get you man! If you need anymore advice or help or something you have my email!
If that’s the case, forget the remainder of this Step and proceed on to the next step, because 3+ “yeses” by this point make it 100% clear to me that here we have a Category A situation. Most break ups in which the girl ended it, are this. Don’t panic, I made this site for this situation more than any other.
The radio silence will also be beneficial for your ex. If they broke up with you, they need space; remember a separation means a need for space! By providing them with that space they will be able to put things into perspective and realize certain things about you and your relationship.
I think you honestly need to sit down and figure out what it is you want. It looks like the crossroads here is between him, or starting a family, so it’s important to know which comes first to you, and stick to it. You wouldn’t want to regret down the road on a decision you felt wasn’t made based on thorough logic but whim of the moment and it’s too late to go back in time to change anything.
I don’t have many options. Its early June. Its been 21 days no contact now. Earliest I could physically visit her technically in end of August. 3 months of no contact (what you recommended) would put me at end of august which is too late to ‘start’ talking because i cant just show up at end of august face-to-face. But how would I even get her to want me to come visit after shes hurt and apparently ‘at ease’ according to friends given how stressful the end of our relationship was? I think we’re both in this stalemate of no-contact because although she broke up with me first, I rejected her comeback the next day, so theres no reason for her to contact me again as she was hurt by what I said when she wanted to come back to me. Im just totally lost given that the long-distance is crippling the normal flow of your advice/articles.
Open, honest communication. For so many people, “to communicate” means to speak and to explain a viewpoint in an attempt to share something important. That’s partially correct. But to ensure things are discussed in a productive way, and to avoid miscommunication that can lead to future resentment and problems, listening is far more important than speaking.
We were together 5 years and did a lot of firsts in life together. Got my first apartment with her, rented my first house with her, bought my first brand new car with her, got sober and maintained a home for the first time in my life. We were best friends before we became lovers and it was complete unexpected when we did first get together. We had a lot of good times and a few shitty ones.
Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!
While his current situation was inherently upsetting, Peter again gradually saw that he was reacting through the lens of his family-of-origin realities. Loving responses were not freely given there. Asking for his parents’ attention felt demeaning and emasculating.
That needs to change. We need to get you behaving and coming across in a more attractive manner, when you meet up with her in person. This takes practice so it is something you should get started with right away as soon as you begin the No Contact Period. That way, when you go to meet with her after no contact, she’s gonna ‘just feel’ that you have a sexier presence. That’s how it works, they can’t explain it, they ‘just feel’ it.
We pride ourselves in telling our clients right away if we feel like they should move on or if we believe that getting back with an ex is doing more damage to them than anything else. In some cases you have to let go of a destructive relationship to realize that it really wasn’t meant to be and in order to find your true soul mate!
You love the person that you are with so much that you become unable to control your emotions and fall into a sort of emotional dependence to them. In other words you need their attention and validation in order to be happy or fulfilled on the day to day.
He broke up with me a week ago over the phone. We were together for 7 months and had a deep connection. I have not contacted him since. Yesterday I received a text from him explaining why he did it and apology. Pretty much he is not over his divorce, has health issues, dealing with work problems, trying to work on a relationship with his kids and now is not a good time and not fair to me to continue the relationship. Should I respond or keep no contact for 30 days? Or should I acknowledge the text and respond?