The next thing that you need to do has nothing to do with your ex directly. You need to work on yourself. Get to the gym, start running, find something new. Get new friends, and change up your life. You have to do this, so that the point where her friends chime in to see how you’re doing, they’ll relay to her that you’re actually not sweating the break up. Also, you’re going to actually help yourself, and perhaps find a way to your next relationship. You’ll be surprised by this completely.
I always take my bf back because of pity and feeling sorry for him. I’m not happy and I want to run as far as I can from him. I am not into him anymore. He disgusts me and anytime I want to go he follows me like a dog…he is too needy and I cannot stand him. I want to be with my ex so bad, he is all I need. Distance has separated us but I am back and back to fight for him but it’s hard to get him to leave his girlfriend he lives with. He says he wants to and he is not in love with her but he just cannot pack up and leave. Why can’t he?
I am sorry if my reply was not very coherent. I do realize that I should not be so worried about what to send, that a single message can make it or break it, but at the same time that is what your website is about, the reality is that it does make all the difference.
You could text him on that day, wishing him all the best and a comforting text, which may help break the ice and ease on the emotions he may be feeling. See how it works out from there, and continue accordingly.
You have to figure out whether his intentions are out of concern as a friend, or he actually likes you still, or just wants the benefits (hookup). Regardless, it would best for you to give him some space, considering you don’t know what his intentions are, and he may not know either. Apply the No Contact Rule and focus on yourself in the meantime. If he likes you, he will come back.
Your priorities before might be the reason for your break-up. It could be that your relationship suffered a toll because your priorities were imbalanced. It should be noted that while there are needs, there are also wants.
My ex broke up with me in Febuary this year while I was at overseas. We were together for 8 months. I was planned to work at overseas for 6 months from January. we didn’t talk much during that period of time because I know he work really hard and long hours( at least 8 hours a day sometimes 12 hours),I texted him every 2 days or 3 days and he barely replied. He broke up with me said because of a lack of common interest and culture crash. we were in a really long distance relationship.
“You were right too about how much I coddled my children’s mother. The reality is that I was afraid of her. Just like when we were married I was always trying to keep her from getting mad at me. When I was depressed I had no spine for anything. That era is over as well. Now when she calls, I get the facts of who to pick up when and where, and that’s it.”
A month ago,c had to prepare for sum serious test n at that time i was frustrtd wid boredom so i behavd in a rough way i guess..so dt may b the cause..also c had constantly talkd about her getting married to sum1 else n i suspect dt may b d main reason..also c is of different religion so her parents r nt gona accept us..
After saying sorry and explaing what type of relationship I really want i have done about 2 week long NC as suggested. On Christmas day to my surprise I got a Christmas greeting and my ex initianated a short conversation and this morningI got good morning greeting as it was a habit before breakup and it seems my ex wants to come over. I am very happy but my consern is that: I dont wanna be a doormat in long term. So I plan to initiate a converstation about the situation: I want to give it a try to a serious relationship with him but I dont want to be with him at any cost. Do you think it is appropriate. I mean I am happy that he comes or sg but I dont want to be just used and abused. Taking into account our past story it can be an issue.
You have a philosophy of scarcity with regard to women. Otherwise, why not just start pursuing any of the others that are in your immediate proximity? This girl feels like the last one on the planet and it is tearing you up. Plus it makes you behave in a needy way and that turns her off further
Before you approach your ex-girlfriend and convince her to give your relationship a second chance, make sure that you have already spent time alone. Alone time is crucial during your break-up. Ensure that you have already focused on improving yourself and you are now really ready to make the relationship work. For this step to work, consider doing the following tips:
That’s the story of around 80% of the people who are desperate to get their ex back. It’s a huge mistake to text and call your ex all the time. In fact, it’s a huge mistake to call them even once. Your instincts tell you that if you stay in contact with your ex, they will not forget about you and hopefully come back.
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago kind of out of the blue. We’ve been slowly declining for a while, and I would bring up the fact that I felt like things weren’t going good all the time, but he always ignored my pleas for better communication. It finally came to a head and I broke up with him, and then quickly took it back the next day and we decided to get back together. Things seemed to be going really well and then he broke up with me, also saying he needs time and space. During these 2 weeks I’ve come to realize that a lot of the problems were me. I was so emotionally dependent on him, and I would turn negative if I couldn’t be with him. He was my source of happiness and I didn’t realize that until that was gone. I’ve been working on recognizing my problems and fixing them, because in the end I want him back. I really believe that now that I know what the problems were that he never told me during the relationship, if we were to try again, it would be really successful. I broke no contact a few times and was regrettably desperate in asking for him to come back and work on things, to which he kept saying he needs time and space and he’s taking that for himself. I don’t know if I should wait for him to reach out since I’ve reached out so many times (but will not anymore!!) But I’m afraid he won’t and will just move on without me. The fact that he said he needs time and space makes me believe like he wants to revisit the idea of us getting back together, but that may just be me overthinking it. I just want him to see all the progressive I have been making so he can realize even though I may have lost my way and gotten too attached, my intentions were always pure and my love was always real. How do I get him back?
If you are want to win a girl back then all you have to do is to accept your breakup and let your girlfriend go. This is very crucial step for how to get your ex girl back and it may be difficult for you. But you have to let your ex girlfriend go to pull her back again in your life.
Play hard to get. That’s right. Just when you think you’re about to get your girl back, just when she’s finally realizing what an amazing catch you were, is not the time to declare your love. Instead, throw her a curve ball by making her see that she still has to fight for your affection instead of just falling into your arms. As you start to hang out more and more, make sure to not always be available.
Examine how your values have shifted. Having gone through a breakup with one type of woman, you probably have a good idea of the things you didn’t like about her personality. This means you’re probably eying women who have a different personality in that regard, which in turn means that you’ve learned from your past – a sure sign of personal growth.
My name is Kevin, and I am here to help you through this painful breakup and hopefully get your ex back. I say hopefully because I can’t guarantee you that you will get your ex back. I can, however, guarantee that if you follow this plan, your chances of getting your ex back will increase significantly.
the funny think is that I knew what i was doing is wrong but could not stop my self because my brain was focused so much on her , that I lost my self in the process of relationship, work and family , had problems on every angle
Women are attracted to men who have a strong sense of self and a strong sense of values. If you misplaced them somewhere along the way in your relationship, the first step isn’t to apologize to her; the first step to getting your ex-girlfriend back is to find the guy she fell in love with again. Then reintroduce her to him.
If you give her space, she’ll also be more likely to think about you. She’ll think, “I haven’t heard from [insert your name here] in a while. That must mean that he’s just fine without me…” This will intrigue her and make her wonder what you’re up to.
We already know that you are the kind of person they like (since they were attracted to you at one time) we just have to work on restoring what dissipated over time and repairing any errors that have occurred since you have been together.
I recently lost, my girl it was my fault I got hooked up in internet adiction, porn sites and dating sites, she read my corespondance to the other women and even contacted them to see if we had met up. I did it for a quick sense of wantedness and no other reason, I’ve spoken to a doc about the adiction and confronted mtg demons, but she no longer trusts me and now I’ve lost her…
Anyways almost two weeks ago… Finally she broke me up. I was very very embarrassed and felt like panic. And i wrote a letter and a poem. I said to her ‘ im so sorry i was an asshole bla bla and what i did wrong from bigining to the end. However she rejected me . she said ‘ im very tired of you and it caused me to love you less than before. So i cant keep loving me and this relationship. I think my decision is right.’
my girfriend broke up with me a month ago, she told me she wasnt ready for a relationship and i was too into her more she was into me and she wanted some space.. so i gave her some space but a week later i end up getting drunk in a bar, then i see her .. i approach her and ask if we can talk ( iwasdrunk) then we went to the parking lot… i asked if she could come back to me she said she wants to be single… then i accidentally said something disrespectful, she slapped me and asked me how many bottles i drank… i was in rage of anger because she didnt want to fix things. then when she left.. i started texting her nasty things… well i was drunk… now i regret everything ive done on that day… and she called the next day after that saying she doesnt like me anymore and shes never coming back.. is that because shes really angry? i sent her flowers she threw them away.. im so stupid to get drunk that night… now after 2 weeks i heard she likes this other guy but i dont know if she really likes the guy or not… its only been a month and shes searching for another guy to like? i thought she wasnt ready to be in a relationship?… i need help.. how do i get her back and put interest. thanks…
Start fresh. Don’t think of this as Part Two of your relationship saga — think of it as two people starting completely over while being better equipped to deal with any challenges that come their way. Though you can’t completely forget the past, there’s no need to dwell on it or rehash it. Of course, if any fond memory of the past comes up, you should talk about it, but think of everything as starting anew.
There are many reasons that make this technique successfully but the first and foremost is you are full of mix emotions and you are not in the rational mode to contact your ex again. On other hand your ex girlfriend is also full of mix emotions and she doesn’t know what to say and how to answer your call. If you try to call when your breakup emotions are fresh it is most probably you will say something that is completely useless and end up pushing your ex girlfriend away from your life.
But I also want to get more specific than that. To begin with, you say that you met this woman two years ago (when you were 19), and that “even two years later” you feel guilty about how it ended, or that it ended. If I got the chronology straight, it doesn’t sound like you were with her for a long time. And even if I did not understand the chronology exactly, it could not have been that long anyway. This means, again, that you need to engage in some meditation focused on regaining the broad picture. I use a personalized variant of this one, for instance:
It’s happened on almost every first date I’ve had since. There’s a weirdly specific dating convention in New York: You always talk about real estate and roommates. As I sit across from a girl at the bar or over brunch, I worry about getting to that roommate part — where we share how many we have, if we like them, how close we are. I wonder, anxiously, Is she going to bolt once I tell her that I live with my ex?
I understand that this might be the most painful experiences of your entire life right at this moment. Trust me, I have not only been there myself. But, I have seen many people go through the some pain again and again. Once upon a time, while going through my personal breakup phase. My pain was so bad that I use to get up in the middle of the night and cry. And I know a lot many people who have had even worse times than I did.
Remember: you have been loved, you are loved, and you will be loved again. You have a place in the world around you. No matter how you feel or what your ex might say and do to make you feel worse in the short term, this fact remains.
My GF (we are both 24) of 11 months broke up with me 4 days ago saying she needed a 2 weeks of no contact and maybe we can be friend and we will see what happens after. She was crying her eyes out as she did it saying that she loved me but she feels like we value different things and she doesn’t trust me to tell her things (because I have a hard time opening up and talking about my problems at work etc. and sometimes i focused on her being my only place of happiness (don’t like my career direction, job). I am working my butt off in these 2 weeks to be a better guy and love myself (been hitting the gym hard, got a trainer and applying to law school to change what im doing) but I really believe this is the girl I want to marry and cannot picture living without her. She said she still loves me and while breaking up i could still make her smile when i made a joke to get her to stop crying. Any suggestions how I should proceed in these weeks/ after the 2 weeks?
Once you’ve pinpointed the main problem, or main problems, make sure that it’s something that you can really control. For example, if your main problem was your fundamentally different religious beliefs, or the fact that you live across the country from each other and can’t relocate, that may be hard to fix.
I am thankfull for the breakup, because it gave me the opportunity I never had before. I got to know myself better, who I am, what I want, and that this school doesn’t make me happy. I learned how to be happy. I learned, that my inner fire dissapeared, and I have to respark it by doing the things I love, not what the others want me to do. I lost my optimistic and happy attitude. Thank you a lot for this opportunity.
Only once, about 40 days in did we text for more than 5 minutes. She told me our relationship never had the “depth” she was looking for and she had found someone else that supports her in ways I didn’t. She said she was sorry for dragging me along when she really knew she didn’t want me anymore for a little bit of time.