As they talked Peter often felt tempted to say, “and you do it too!”  He successfully refrained.  He had learned that his job was to look at what he could change, not to criticize or advise his wife.  That change proved to be one of the most potent signs to his wife that Peter was in fact behaving far more appealingly.  

Whether you’re talking to her over the phone or in person, suggest that you should hang out again. Keep it very casual. When you do meet up, don’t be obvious about your romantic feelings. Just make her miss you without telling her how you feel.

In almost all the cases of rebound relationship, people soon realize that this new relationship isn’t right for them and end it. So, even if your ex starts dating someone new, do not freak out. It’s just a rebound relationship and it will end soon.

Tread lightly in the areas that you used to disagree. Whatever issues caused your break-up are likely to still be tender areas for the both of you. If you struggle with jealousy, family issues, control issues, or other particular areas, realize that those issues are going to still be there when the newness wears off of your reinstated romance.

You and your ex girlfriend are texting. However, instead of following any of my advice you come right out and start getting down to the “emotional” stuff. This causes a snowball effect that eventually leads to a fight and you are right back at square one.

Problem is right now we are not really talking. We have not spoken except in very formal text messages (finalizing the breakup) since the day he said he wanted to break up with me. It’s been about two weeks. He said that he would be willing to meet with me but seemed really defensive that I might just try to beg and plead again. I’m worried if I see him he will just keep trying to shut me off, even if that’s not what I’m doing..

MY RESPONSE: “You don’t want to hurt me, but you’re doing it anyway by leaving me. I don’t know what brought this on, whether it’s someone else that has convinced you or you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t love me. After all the times we’ve told each other, after all the times you’ve told me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, the times we’ve told each other how lucky we both feel to have each other and to be able to call each other “mine”, and the times we’ve told each other we love each other with all our heart and soul more than anything (I still do love you with all my heart and soul more than anything), and all of a sudden you don’t love me anymore. You seem to think that relationships are suppose to be what it was like at the start. That’s called the honeymoon period which inevitably ends for all couples babe. It doesn’t last forever as couples get used to each other, and also become busy. Talk to any couple and they’ll tell you the same thing.

However, you should try looking for subtle signs that she still wants to be with you when you accidentally meet her at work or school. You can also look for signs based on her posts and comments on her social media accounts.

I really recommend reading Models by Mark Manson. Your girlfriend was right about at least one thing: You liked her way more than she liked you. She was ready to separate, meanwhile you’re super aware of if she has logged into Facebook. Mark identifies the kiss of death early in relationships: being needy. I recommend the whole book for more detail, but it sounds like this relationship was doomed because of neediness. Check it out, I think you’ll find it really illuminating

I would like to ask you if you could help me out with a piece of advise about how could I rebuild attraction without him realizing what I am doing? He knows my tricks and methods, so I would need new ones but don’t have a clue what should I do to charm him but still be myself. I would like to build up at least a little bit of attraction till March, as I will be in his town for a week, and I know that that week will be decisive in what will happen next. Could you please give me some examples or a direction how should I approach him in a romantic way without scaring him?

My apologies, I must have missed that point. Yes, Dan is right. You shouldn’t let what she did in the time you guys were broken up affect you, because she was free to do whatever she wanted back then. The important thing is that now she’s with you, it doesn’t continue to happen. If it’s an issue that’s bothering you, sit down and have a talk with her to tell her how you feel, and find a way to compromise so that respect for one another can be earned. As Dan had also mentioned, her lack of respect for you was probably attributed to the past relationship and how you acted. Ideally, if you followed no contact rule, you should have worked on those issues by now, and made some significant changes in your life which would change the way she views you.

I went out with my ex girlfriend for 9years an have 3 wonderful kids with her we had our ups an downs the last 2 years were mostly downs an a lot of fighting we really weren’t talking so she broke up with me for about 7-8 months I did the whole crying asking her for that one chance trying to keep my family together she is really my first love I know what I did wrong an I’m trying to change an understand what I’ve done wrong well we both move out of the place we lived together she went back with her mother an I got my own place I still love her but I just found out she started dating just dating an I’ve seen a couple of women but I still have strong feelings for her she won’t talk to me an when she does she gets angry quick she gets jealous when I say I’m with a friend an she turns around an try’s to make me jealous in return why would she do that I just wanna know if I still have a chance what can I do an if I don’t should I just move on please help

“Forgiveness takes places when you honestly feel good for someone else. It takes place when you restore your relationship instead of avoiding it. Forgiveness takes place when no past actions hold a present bearing. Forgiveness becomes real when hate replaces love.”

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