Remember, we are talking about your ex girlfriend here so at one point you were considered an alpha male to her (because lets be honest all women want to date the alpha male.) However, now that the two of you broke up you lost your standing as the alpha male and it is up to you to regain it.
Look, I realize that your situation is unique (perhaps quite complicated). And you know what? It is unique. In fact, each one of my readers had a story that was different from everyone else’s. Because every breakup is unique.
You know what I will miss, the love you have for me and the way you adore me, I’m afraid I will never have that again. But in saying that I want to have that for someone too. It’s one thing to say someone feels that way toward you but it’s completely different to have those feelings for someone else. I imagine its almost like a high or a drug addiction. And you must want that for your self. For god sake I want that for you, but I know I can’t. The only way this relationship could work is by me having those feelings and that’s not something you cannot create. You are perfect the way you are and you will find someone that adores all your qualities and they will not want you to change in anyway.”
Complete No Contact, whether it be the 21 day plan, the 30 day plan, or the 45 day plan. Try not to focus on your ex. Instead, put your energy towards doing things that make you feel good about yourself and your life. That is the most effective method to getting your ex back, and all the success stories listed on the site embraced No Contact Fully.
Try asking empowering questions instead. It’ll break your pattern of feeling depressed. Change your focus. You’ll feel better, you’ll re-gain control of your emotions and it’ll get you out of that bad place.
My question is: what’s the best timing to send the e-mail? Isn’t it overwhelming around holiday time? Shall I just extend NC until he’s back in town? Maybe I could combine it with wishing him happy holidays and happy birthday?
Remember she was once completely vulnerable with you, she was intimate with you, and she let you know things about her that nobody knows! She may have found someone or she may be cynical about getting back together but that is because she did not feel emotionally safe. You were a part of her heart and soul once, and if you have caused her hurt, you are the only one who can heal it. She needs to see that you can be as invested as she was. She needs to know that you feel it can work out. She needs to see that the same problems that caused you to drift apart shall never surface again. Show her. Evince it through actions, words, gestures- whatever it takes. Just make her feel that she can be emotionally safe with you- that you are the man she once fell for and will continue to be!
Admitting to what you may have done wrong will help show that you care enough about the relationship to take responsibility and that you’re not just trying to get back together for superficial reasons.
Basically, society tells us that feeling intense grief after a break up is part of a normal, healthy healing process. But, the truth is really this period of discomfort is not as necessary as we are being told and the lack of this period is just as healthy. Following a tragedy we are told to expect such a period of intense grief. But, research shows that those who don’t experience such a period of grief are doing much better one year after the tragedy. Mearns concludes that “people who didn’t think they could bring themselves out of depression generally didn’t.”
This is the hardest thing for a lot of guys to accept.: There IS NO WAY to just go get your ex back. Flowers, romantic gestures, promises things will be better . . . these might extend the relationship by a few weeks. But it was already on life support and you’re just treating symptoms.
I know you love this girl, but any relationship she has with you or anyone else has with her is going to be EXTREMELY unhealthy. Look at this list. Trust, jealousy, emotional infidelity (at least), and potentially lying. Being in a relationship with her will make you miserable in the long run. It’s going to sting like hell for now, but you are much better off without her.
And that’s the major drawback of most other books out there: they assume that your situation is the same as everyone else’s. Then they suggest you follow the same strategy as everyone else (or worse, the same strategy that woman use when trying to get a boyfriend back).
Sometimes, not communicating with your ex works so well that she’ll realize how much she misses you. Don’t be surprised if she starts calling or messaging you after a week of no contact! (Researchers at the Univ. of Washington have found that the vast majority of relationships can be repaired, so if you play your cards correctly you can expect her to eventually get in touch again).
If it was too hard the first time, make it easier. If you broke up because she felt that you didn’t give her enough affection or time or that you spent too much time flirting with other women, it’s time to do the exact opposite and to make yourself available to her and have no other women on your radar.
The truth is, that I’m not trying at all. Because I know that as soon as I’m out that door, I’ll never have a chance at being with her again. I can’t stay here in Toronto if I’m not living with her, so I’m going to have to move back home with my parents. I’ve been trying to stay as long as I can, but lately she’s really pushing me to get out.
P.S. I forgot to mention: by being an owner of this course you get free updates for life that will not only help you get her back, but also make your relationship stronger than it ever was. This course is, and will continue to be, a steady flow of inside information as more and more guys share their success stories with me after acting on this advice to get their girlfriends back, so lock in your position now and become a part of this inner circle of relationship prosperity.
It’s likely that your ego took a hit because of this breakup. You probably wonder if you’ll ever find someone as amazing as your ex, or if you are even loveable. No Contact gives you a chance the get back to you. And by getting back to you, you’ll once again become the person your ex fell for in the first place.
Hi there! It’s been 30 days since i called. She tried to contact me in between i tried not talk but the condition was inevitable so had to. Should i contact her now or wait for more as she contacted !
Thoughts about the relationship will keep coming in the mind. This is very normal. But the real question is whether we let these thoughts affect us in a negative way. The nature of the mind is to dwell on past pleasurable experiences unless it has something higher to cling onto. Thus, it’s important to have a higher source of happiness.