Hello, so my problem is probably similar to all of the others but I am looking for some advice. Last weekend my girlfriend had a show to perform in so I of course went to watch, and I was also her ride to the show. Not only was I her ride but I was also the only one of us who had keys to her house because she decided not to bring hers. She had to be there early so I went and met with a friend to have a few beers while waiting for the show to start. Once the show started I decided to order another beer and watch the show, which was followed by a few other hard alcohol drinks. At this point things seemed fine and I thought the show was done but she informed me via text that she had to go back on a few more times. The thought of waiting somehow got to me because the alcohol was hitting me pretty hard due to the lack of eating that day and all out exhausted. I made the poor choice of just abandoning her at the show and went home to pass out. Now I know this was a bad decision but it was already done. I woke up two hours later to her standing over my bed visually upset, I don’t blame her, and followed her into the kitchen where she proceeded to empty out all of the beers that I had in the fridge. She left and I instantly texted an apology that was followed up by a few texts and attempted calls throughout the next day. After no response I decided the next morning to bring her an amazing flower arrangement and an apology card which she reluctantly accepted. After that I figured the best thing to do is to just leave her alone and hope that she would contact me. The following evening she did contact me saying that I was the best man she had ever met and would always care about me but that she wants to be single again. I asked her not to make up her mind yet and that I was going to prove to her that I could change this bad habit. I have left her alone now except for one text that said I miss her, no reply. I am wondering if there might be any chance for me with this girl after what I have done, my plan is to not contact her for a bit and then initiate a meeting for coffee or something. Any advice would be much appreciated.
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says “I’m no longer in love with you”), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other’s eyes and then answer personal questions (like “What is your biggest fear?” and “What is your best memory from childhood?”). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex’s eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.
When you look to build attraction with a girl when it comes to texting you can’t immediately come out of the gates and send some super emotional text message. I mean, I suppose you could but don’t expect to get your ex back with that strategy.
It’s crucial for you to realize that when it comes to getting an ex-girlfriend back there’s not 1 but 5 different approaches. If you choose to use the wrong one (or worse… one that’s tailored to women) you could end up losing her forever.
If you dig deeper, you will find many things that make you uncomfortable with your ex. However, you keep on ignoring them thinking it wasn’t worth getting into an argument over. By ignoring these small things, you have allowed them to become a full-blown breakup.
Lets say that you are just an average looking guy. You aren’t terrible looking but you aren’t good looking either. If you were to rank really highly in the rest of the qualities in this section your looks wouldn’t really matter as much to women.
Now let’s say that after a while, we get into an argument and you’re mad at me. To win your friendship again, all I do is go fishing with you, or listen to whatever music you want, or do whatever you want to do. Would that make you like me more? Or would it make you find me somewhat contemptible?
You guys weren’t together for a long time so him moving on would be dependent on how meaningful the 2 months were. Typically someone blocking you would be his way of wanting to avoid you, and this could because you were acting needy by trying to change his mind. Continue with NC but spend this time to work on your issues, and at the end of it, if he has unblocked you, you could try initiating contact to see where he stands. Bear in mind that there is a small likelihood he has moved on already due to the length of the relationship, and may have blocked you as a way of ‘indicating’ those feelings.
Then have a conversation with him. Tell him that you don’t want to repeat the past relationship again and you want to start taking things slow. That means you should not have sex for at least two weeks after you start dating. Since your past relationship was only based on sex, it’s best to avoid having sex for a while so you don’t go back to the same old patterns. Only meet him outside and go on dates with him. Take your time to figure out if a relationship with him can work. And if he is not willing to take it slow, you should be willing to walk away (he will eventually come around when he realizes you are strong and he can’t make you go back to the same old relationship pattern.)
Now, how to get your ex-girlfriend back can be a darned difficult path to tread, with multiple possible routes – each dependent on the type of breakup and the girl’s reaction to it. Therefore, getting your ex-girlfriend back can be trickier and more complex than you’d have made it out to be. The process of getting your ex-girlfriend back is much more than a series of texts-calls-subtle hints-taking it slow-reengaging-acknowledging your mistake-and showing the change! And the road can be filled with obstacles that hadn’t quite crossed your mentalscape, when you decided to embark upon a journey, the arrival of which isn’t quite guaranteed.
But I cannot stress the bottom line enough: The No Contact period is the most important stage of this process. If you don’t do the serious work there, you won’t see a lot of progress with your ex. And even if for some reason you do nothing in No Contact and you DO get your ex back, I’m 95% sure it won’t last. Sorry.
Men with no purpose look highly unattractive. You made a mistake by making your girlfriend as the only purpose of your life. Girls don’t want their boyfriends to have a sole purpose in their life just to please her. If you have make this mistake now it is time to set new goal for your life and try to achieve it.
If you are in a situation like this, the best thing to do is just be cool about it. Do not give your opinion about their new relationship and let it run its course. Just be cool about the whole thing and try to concentrate on your life rather than theirs. There are a lot of things that you need to do after a breakup and before you can get your ex back. That’s what step 2 is all about.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Though you should avoid making the same mistakes, if you’re constantly obsessing over not making them, you won’t be able to enjoy the relationship. Just have fun and try not to think about it too much unless you’re having a conflict. If you’re so worried that you’ll lose him again every step you take, you won’t be able to live in the moment.
This tactic is a little like flirting. The key to compliments are to work them in during your conversation over text. Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Here is a good example of a great compliment:
I’m not sure exactly how our relationship ended, just like I can’t pinpoint the moment it began. Don’t get me wrong, I remember very clearly the night when she turned to me in bed and asked if we could talk. And I remember crying in the bathroom stall at work the next day, not because I was hurt — it was something I had wanted, too — but because the relationship I’d been in for almost four years was suddenly over.