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That’s when the sobering reality set in. She was out of my life, from one moment to the next. All I had left were vivid memories flashing through my head: the first time we met, our first date, the first kiss…
My girlfriend and I were together for a year and 2 months and she kept repeating, daily, that this is the best thing in her life, and we’re meant together. We are very close. I’ve personally never known a person I want to be with more than her, and she expressed the same in visits, writing letters, and texts. Around Christmas, while she was staying with her family (she lives in the adjacent country but we travel constantly to see each other), and after a small discussion about where she might get a job and where we would live together, she turned completely and said (on new year’s eve) she can’t do a relationship anymore, she wants to be alone, that she’s a toxic person to me (she isn’t), and never wants a relationship again, ever, with anyone. She did not explain the details why making such a heavy decision, she said she feels inadequate, and that I shouldn’t contact her any more if I want her to stay. I am very confused. Now it’s been twenty days since we last had any contact and it’s killing me, I miss her and I wish we could talk. I have no idea what to do.
But sometime in the first few months of living together — between starting new internships, fighting over how often the dishes were done, waging war against cockroaches, and spending less and less time together — we stopped being girlfriends and slipped back into just being friends.
Me and my ex broke up 2 years ago. We didn’t have any contact with each other until one of our close friends set us up to talk in person two months ago. He apologized, for in a way “hurting my feelings” when he dumped me but I didn’t respond. After it took him a month to actually talk to me since we’re both in our last year of high school. After that he’s always found a reason to talk to me and even asked our friend for my social media but I try to stay away because I still have feelings for him, but he has a girlfriend. I don’t want to break them up because he seems so happy and in love, and it’s all I ever wanted for him, as well as it being a stupid reason to try to break them up, it’s messed up. I missed him being back in my life, but I don’t know if I want to push him away again because of my feelings, aswell as I don’t want him to feel as if I hate him or something. I want him back I really do, but I don’t wanna ruin our friendship because we did agree to stay friends. What should I do?
Do you think they want to breakup because they want you to beg them to take them back? Nobody wants to be with a needy person. And even if your begging worked, it’s going to lead to a relationship where you will end up being a doormat.
My experience is that some abusers are genuinely willing to learn and to apply what they learn so that they cease their controlling and abusive ways (note: the controlling stance as well as the explicit abuse must change for the future to look promising).
Me and my girlfriend been together for 14 months. We almost had an baby. But the baby died. After 3 weeks she started to act different. I called her horrible names like 6 different occasions. Now I text her she doesn’t even text me back. I call her shell call me a couple hours later. I love her so much. I text her in the morning that I apologize. Saying nice sweet stuff. Then when I wanna break up with her. She gets so mad at me. She don’t even wanna see me like that. It hurts me so bad. What should I do.
Marriage is a tricky one. After years of being together it can seem monotonous and boring. People settle into a routine and then start to resent eachother after a while. A marriage takes work, from both parties. The trouble is trying to get that other person to want to want to work at it. No mean feat. If you are a woman it is all about understanding the male mind and why they do not want to open up and talk. You have to use the male lingo to get any headway here.
And unlike other books and courses that provide advice on using persuasion, tricks, games, and manipulation tactics that are ineffective, this course offers counter-intuitive psychological strategies for getting your ex-girlfriend back – strategies that have been proven effective through personal experience as well as over 1,200 personal consultations with men.
Leave anything negative, sappy, or desperate out of the conversation. Your conversations have to be positive and focused on making them feel good. Mention positive memories of them, something exciting that happened in your life recently, or something funny that reminded you of them.
abuse of any kind. If your ex has ever laid a hand on you to hurt you, or coerced you to have sex or do other things you did not feel comfortable doing, then he or she was abusive and you should not try to win that person back.
Don’t talk about your relationship the first time you see him, unless he brings it up first. Otherwise, wait until you’ve spent time together a few times and have had the chance to make a good impression on him as a friend.
I got into a relationship with a guy and he wanted us to get married but he traveled back and after some months he stopped calling me and now he talks to me and told me he didn’t know why he stopped calling or thinking about me…..I still love him and I want him back….I need help.
Being a happy and confident person is probably the most important thing when it comes to getting your ex back. You need to realize that happiness and confidence is something that you can get by working on yourself. Here are a few ideas that will help you gain more confidence and become a happier person.
Resolve to talk–a lot. Periodically check in with each other about the relationship and your satisfaction levels. Addressing these issues head-on is particularly important for a relationship that comes with prior baggage.
Got a text from my GF immediately returning from a vacation together. She said she didn’t feel as invested in our relationship as I did. We’d been dating 2 and a half months, extremely attracted to each other, the sex was incredible for the both of us, & we spent a good bit of time together. Within the first month, she was talking about settling down & getting a place together. Admittedly, I was a little taken back by it, but handled it appropriately. Obviously it showed she had been rather interested in me and then some. The breakup happened via text as I said before & about not being as invested in me as I was with her. Not even a week later, she’s already texting me & admittedly I respond, but it’s usually silly stuff. I want to be back with her in the worst way but can’t get a good read on what the hell happened or what’s happening? Any recommendations on how to proceed? Thanks.
Damn I’m so sorry.. me a different story. I thought it was going well but suddenly she told me that she wanted to be honest and saying she didn’t wanted anyone and then she told me shitty things to cover it up.. fuck that bitch..man we don’t need them.. they are just fucking heartbreakers
Your relationship might have come to an end before because the things that you want are actually totally different. For instance, one of you wants to have kids while the other does not. However, when the time comes that the two of you already want the same, then maybe getting her back is a wise move.
A simple exercise that rids you of all pain; it takes just 10 minutes to complete but works like gangbusters (and remember, you must be in control of your emotions if you’re going to save your relationship).
It is still your call whether giving your relationship a second chance is a good choice. Your relationship may have ended because of a mistake you or she has committed. Find out if the two of you have already learned from the mistake. Make sure that both parties are also willing to forgive and have a good future ahead. If you realize that both are willing to work on the relationship and give it another shot, then maybe it is worth it.
It gives your ex a chance to miss you: After a breakup, emotions are running high for both parties, and it is not unlikely that both you and your ex said some things that you regret. You want your ex to totally forget about all the negative parts of the relationship and only be left with the positives.
This doesn’t mean that you should cut off communication completely unless you think that’s best. But you shouldn’t text her every five minutes or ask her to hang out with you all the time, unless you want to scare her off.
Thus, working on developing yourself is the solution, so that you are actually able to fill this void, derive happiness and satisfaction from within. This happiness and satisfaction from within is actually the source of real self-confidence.
Note: Brad has provided complete steps on how to follow this 60-days no contact technique. In this technique Brad will show you how you can take full advantage of these no contact days so when you meet with your ex she will see completely new person.
Start fresh. Don’t think of this as Part Two of your relationship saga — think of it as two people starting completely over while being better equipped to deal with any challenges that come their way. Though you can’t completely forget the past, there’s no need to dwell on it or rehash it. Of course, if any fond memory of the past comes up, you should talk about it, but think of everything as starting anew.
And there’s a different approach you should take based on each of these categories (as opposed to a single plan that’s supposed to work for everyone, but in reality doesn’t). You see, it’s not the minor details you need to be concerned with… but the major factors that are directly responsible for your breakup.
So my ex broke up with me a little over a month ago after a 3 months relationship & several months of talking & getting to know each other really well (starting in the summer but wasn’t a fling). He is 24, I am 21, we felt serious, he would mention marriage. We had many common goals & other things & he loved that. Commitment/marriage seemed serious to him, he was all about values & didn’t like relationships where he wasn’t sure about marriage (I was a little hesitant about it). I was getting out of a breakup as well & vented to him a lot in the first 1-2 months/I mentioned the ex sometimes which he didn’t like & looking back I shouldn’t have done.
A first out-of-bounds behavior is one thing. If the mistake is corrected and not repeated ever again that is a positive development and can result in continuation of a better-than-ever marriage. Continued deal-breaker behaviors however, I agree, are invitations to divorce.
Make a game plan for how to deal with unmet expectations. For example, if you broke up with your ex because he or she spent too much time with friends, talk openly about how much time is reasonable and how you will negotiate with one another if you need more time with friends.
It would depend on your knowledge regarding what she seeks for in life. If the financial security it something more important to her, then you might want to consider walking away as it will be hard to compete with her boss on this aspect. If you know that she may be going through a tough time, and merely needs momentary financial support desperately that you cannot provide, then you could consider a second shot if given the chance. However, do bear in mind that she walked away from you once already, and if you get back with her, she may do the same again if ever she needs something you cannot provide.