Proof It Works: Ben Morrison, an education administrator from Toledo, OH, found comfort in his cubicle after the demise of a three-year relationship. “Talking about my ex only made me dwell on her, so I purposely threw myself into my job,” he says. “I got incredibly productive at work right after that breakup,” says Morrison, who wound up with a promotion.
The way your relationship ended can often give clues as to how you can get it back. By fixing certain things that are wrong with your relationship, you can both get back on the path to being happy again.
Reminisce. Memory is one of your most powerful tools as you help your ex-boyfriend see the light. Remember that time you first started dating and his grandmother accidentally shut your hand in a door? Probably not, because that’s one of my memories, but the two of you undoubtedly have a treasure trove of happy, funny or romantic memories from the times when your relationship was strong and exciting. Help him remember those memories as well, but bring them up only at times when mentioning them would seem totally organic. You don’t want the nostalgia to seem forced.
My main suggestion is to keep doing more of what you have been doing, that is, talking openly, letting go of any pressuring of each other, appreciating and enjoying the positive sides of your relationship, and taking on faith that if the relationship is meant to be, it will be.
You should be able to provide the exact reason for wanting to get him back. Your break-up is never easy, even if you realized that your relationships was not exactly the perfect fit in the first place.
I broke my back and became depressed and pretty much pushed him away by being so moody and unhappy. I am back at work too and getting on with life but a day doesn’t go by when I don’t think of him – it has been two years and I can’t see myself ever not being in love with him.
Okay my NC days are over! but he didn’t contact me and he is my classmate.. so my friend helped me a kinda today she called him and he came while i stood by her and then she said make it good between you, he gave a good response he gave me a fist (for greeting) and i gave it back. He did well at P.E so i said: Well played! and he said thanks you too “Bro” and then he left.. what do i have to do now? Just keep talking to him or something? Because i know he won’t begin a conversation with me.. he is a stubborn guy. And i want him back as well and maybe he acts that he doesn’t miss me?.. Shall i begin to keep a small convo with him? What he only does is looking at me for 1 second.. and then he is turning is head around.. and last week he did talk about me to a teacher like:
Proof It Works: John DeVore, a 30-year-old playwright from Austin, TX, has tried post-breakup rituals from strip clubs to pepperoni-pizza therapy. But when his girlfriend moved out, even those didn’t work. “She’d left behind the gifts I’d given her and poems and letters I’d written,” he says. “I realized that she left them behind on purpose as a jab at me, so I took it all to the roof of his apartment building and burned it. It was nice ritual to show I was ready to let her go.” P.S.: If a bonfire suits you better than standard just-throw-it-out response, make sure you have a fire extinguisher handy.
It doesn’t matter who ended the relationship first and it also doesn’t matter what causes your breakup. The thing that matters is there is always some hope in getting your ex boyfriend back. There is light at the end of every dark tunnel and you can also get your ex boyfriend back doesn’t matter since how long you broke with each other.
Be clear about how you want your relationship to be this time around. Then behave and act in ways that support your vision and make you feel good about yourself. Let things unfold naturally and stay open to the outcome.
better for your criminal record than slashing your ex’s tires when you see his or her car parked outside a new date’s place. The pluses are plenty: Going to the gym fills the time you would otherwise spend sulking at home, exercise releases chemicals that will actually help you feel less depressed, and you’ll boost your confidence because you’ll find yourself looking hot to trot.
Now is the time to address and work through these issues. Don’t let him convince you that the problem was yours. Even if the problem started with you, the way he responded or didn’t respond made things worse.
Hey! I can relate, BUT rather prefer to choose to be happy. Although it’s hard at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’ll be a breeze. Just a few suggestions…try smiling no matter what, even if you feel phony at first, just DO IT! Nike says that. Then sing happy songs with positive lyrics that make you happy, like “Wistle a Happy Tune”, “Singing In the Rain”, “My Favorite Things”, “Something Good”, etc., anything to focus your mind on positive things. Then surround yourself with people who truly love and accept who you are, basically HAPPY AND POSITIVE. Please do yourself this favor. And start saying good things to yourself. Appreciate, love, and accept yourself the way God created you: beautiful, whole, naturally warm and happy person. Good-luck and stay happy the rest of your life… ?
Well, it seems that he himself seems reluctant to meet you right now for whatever reasons. It could very well be that it’s too soon still, and you should give him more time and let him initiate on a meeting up instead. You’ve tried a couple of times and have been met with rejection so I don’t advice trying any further or you might push him away. Just take it casually, continue to focus on yourself first, and don’t let these little rejections get you down.
On 12th of August i’ve started dating with my classmate/friend (now ex) but our relationship wasn’t so good.. i scolded him for 3 months long and stuff and then after 3 months he wanted to break up with me for that. I mean i understand what i’ve done but i won’t do that anymore. so i have cried and begged to not to break up with me and then he didn’t but then after 2 days he broke up again and i begged again. I even went to his house to beg and i cried as well.. so our relationship went on and off again..
A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. Keeping busy with tidying your space doesn’t require a lot of brain power, but it does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain.
If your ex’s friends ask you if or why you are “avoiding” them, just say something like: “I’m really trying to make some time for myself. While I was with [your ex], I didn’t always get to. Now that we’re no longer together, I’m making that a priority.”
Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this group! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I’ve seen posts online of them together and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and flirting together. We have only contacted each other in regards to the apartment logistics. I want to try couples therapy but think it may be too late if he’s moved on. I am actively working on myself and spending time with family, friends, looking for new work, apartments, and hobbies. I feel excited to be moving forward and just want to do the same with him. Should I reach out after no contact period and try to do therapy? Thanks!
I still love my ex but we work together and before we broke up we’re together for three years not only this but he lives around the corner and I have tried to move on but I always see him with his new girlfriend they became a couple as when me and him were dating he slept with her on multiple occasions
That definitely won’t help, he’ll just hate you and he’ll feel hurt, almost as if you were cheating on him. Instead… he has to see that you are still emotionally available for him, you just need some space and time to heal after your break up. Hint him that you might like to get back together, but don’t attack him about it. Give him space and see how he reacts.
We’re both in school so things started to get stressful a month in. We fought once a week then multiple times a week, all on text. I feel we started to focus on positive things less, he said he didn’t feel connected as much but everytime we saw each other, it’s like we hadn’t fought. We both acknowledged we couldn’t see each other to work things out as much. After another fight, he broke it off, saying we fought too much, didn’t feel trust, school/finals stress, & that we should take a break. We kept talking for like 2 weeks after saying we could work things out & even saw each other a week after the breakup. It felt like we still really wanted to make it work. That last time I saw him, he mentioned this classmate who he was talking about past relationships with (including ours) & I didn’t like it but didn’t think anything of it. She is 18 & he said he’d never be interested in her since she’s young, stuck-up, & have nothing in common. I mentioned a guy my friend was trying to set me up with to help me move on (I told my ex I wasn’t interested) but he didn’t like it. A week later, we got into the worst fight after my other ex messaged me after months (but I told him I denied him) then we didn’t talk for 2.5 weeks.
Get in shape. Sitting around eating ice cream and chocolate is not going to accomplish anything, except maybe an extra 5-10 pounds. Instead of letting yourself go as you get over the breakup, get moving. Drop a few pounds and tone your body to make your ex jealous when he sees your improved physical shape.
In either case, you are just going to get hurt and not get what you want; a committed relationship with your ex. If you are serious about getting your ex back, or being happy in your life, make sure you never force them for being friends or even decline their offer to do so; at least, not until you are done with step 2.
That’s when I realized that if I want something I have to get it for myself. Enough was enough! I couldn’t continue dwelling in my misery, I had to do something, anything! I knew about the law of attraction but it was very hard for me to apply because I kept having negative thoughts.
My ex and I broke up a few months ago, I cheated on him, he pretended to forgive me and then he moved on to someone else and then I went through all stages of crazy. Begged him to take me back, spoke to the new girl and told her all the reasons he wasn’t right for her and then he decided to break up with me for real. Claimed what he had with her was ephemeral but I ruined his reputation when I spoke to her. I tried the no contact, did it for 9 days, then I panicked and begged him to take me back, of course he said no, there’s someone else. Then after that time, we met up a few times and had sexually related stuffs…no penetrative sex. Then I decided to restart the no contact. Intend to start tomorrow, unfortunately we are classmates. Yesterday I tried to get him jealous by telling him I met a more handsome guy. He told me many reasons why this guy isn’t right for me. Anyways I am scared that if we continue this way, I’m going to be friend zoned so much that we won’t have any chances again. I don’t want to block him over whatsapp because then he will probably block me too and feel I’ve moved on with this other guy. But it’s quite difficult doing no contact when he is constantly trying to communicate and also, I’m from Nigeria. Virginity means alot to guys here. He was my first and unfortunately the new girl he’s with now is also a virgin and very hot
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I was also pregnant during this time and really wanted to keep my baby. After a month of him putting me down, making me cry, no support & persuading me to get an abortion he somehow convinced me to get the abortion. Which I completely regret now and adds more to my pain. He later on said that he was really scared and that’s why he wanted me to do it.
Take this quiz right now to get personalized advice based on you and your specific situation. This quiz will gather all the information necessary to knowing exactly where you and your ex stand, and what the most effective way to get him back is.
you for being an absolute life saver recently for me. Your posts are helping me get through every single day. I was just wondering if you had any opinion or any insight into what potentially could have caused my current situation.
My boyfriend broke with me 2 weeks ago after a years. Said he had issues he needed to work on and focus on his kids and work. One week after not texting he finally did asking if we could talk. He told me he loved me and hated he was hurting me. I told him I thought our relationship was worth it and would give him time. Since then he has been out of town for work and has text and face timed me non stop. He actuallycalled me last night to ask if I had talked to any guys since he broke up with me. I want him back , what do I do