Me and my ex are both 20 years old and were in a relationship for a year. about 3 weeks ago he brought up the thought of wanting to break up, which surprised me. during the next two weeks we were kinda on a break because he claimed as being confused about everything and didn’t know what to do. then we met up again and he said he still isn’t sure whether we should break up or be together. he said that he probably doesn’t love me as much as i love him and that staying together might be a bad idea. i said that it’s probably best if we break up if he isnt completely sure that he wants me. so it was a kind of a mutual decision but it felt like neither of us wanted to actually do it. it is also worth noting that we are both currently very stressed as we are busy with college. we haven’t been in any contact for a week now so i don’t know what he feels right now, but i still wish that he would realise what he did and that he would want me back. i plan on not contacting him for a few weeks but I am afraid that he will work on getting over me during this time. when we were dating we used to take the same train about once a week. should i normally go on that train and just act friendly if i see him or should i avoid seeing him for a while?
Step 5 – Set up an in-person meeting. This is where you put it all together… get him alone for 30 minutes for coffee or a drink. The main goal is to FLIRT, and build sexual attraction so that he associates those emotions and romantic feelings with you. No drama in this first meeting, and no talk about the breakup or your future… just have fun and flirt. Seduce him again! Build sexual tension and show your ex boyfriend the “new you”.
Understanding his feelings will not only help you to get to know him on a deeper level, it will also help you to have a more harmonious and meaningful relationship with him and form a stronger connection if the two of you do get back together.
A cautionary tale exists in this plan. Neediness and using pity will only backfire in your face. Also, it is important to note that even when you have done everything you can, there are times when the relationship has just run its course.
Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in…the world without your stupid ex…Don’t forget that you once lived without him/her so it won’t definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were… your life isn’t over now that they’re gone.
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You should first figure out why she lost interest in you. No contact is meant for you to focus on picking yourself up and not simply giving her space. If you’re able to contact her and face rejection without falling apart, that’s how you’ll know that no contact worked. Since your NC period is ending soon, you could always drop her a casual text and maybe even ask to catch up sometime. Everything isn’t going to fall in place after one day of talking again after a breakup and you’ll have to slowly nurture her back into wanting you, which is why it’s so important to be able to face her without the fear of falling apart every time she pulls away or is cold towards you.
In this section I am going to give you a game plan that you can follow to get over your ex in a healthy way. You already know what not to do so avoiding those behaviors will help you a lot but it’s really not enough, you need more. This section is that “more.”
It’s not easy to make your ex-boyfriend want you back. But, though it may be hard, it’s not impossible. To get started, focus on being patient and working on your differences, and hopefully the two of you will be able to come together once more.
I think the fact that she lied to you a lot and took advantage of your feelings and you felt cheated by her (i don’t know if you are still on a dating stage or that you are already exclusive because dating does not mean exclusivity all the time) is enough motivation for you to forget about her. This girl is clearly not worth your time and affection because she is just playing with your feelings. Once you realize that your self worth is more important then it will be easier for you to move forward and let go. A lot of people really tend to forego their self-worth which often leads to begging for love and not being able to let go for a long time. Love yourself more and you will be stronger.
Keep in mind, once you get a chance to get back together with your ex boyfriend, you have already learned how to get your ex back and let go all bitter feelings you suffered in the past. Never lose hope to get the one you love most, even if your ex is in a relationship with someone else, just hand on! But, this doesn’t mean you have to disappear from your ex’s life completely.
Stop trying to get your ex back if the relationship was toxic or abusive. It might feel temporarily lonely or even boring to be on your own after the end of a tumultuous relationship, but try to ride that feeling out instead of going back to your ex. On again, off again relationships tend to be based on unhealthy patterns that won’t go away. Resist the temptation to jump right back in when you know you’re better off without him.
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup – just like you’re giving him time and space to start missing you again.