“I’m now in a relationship with a girl I’m absolutely crazy about. I’ve used the advice you gave in regards to the rules of attraction… and everything you said was absolutely correct. I couldn’t be happier at the moment, and I owe it to you. Thank you. Keep up the wonderful work… I’m sure you’re going to help a lot of people.”

Just a heads up this is an extremely important section. Remember how you are going to implement the no contact rule for a month (30 days?) Yes, well you are not going to just sit on your butt and twiddle your thumbs during this time. No, you are going to work towards your goal of a new and better relationship by focusing on the one thing you can control, yourself!

It has been 21 days since the breakup, and she has not yet spoken to me or contacted me in any way. I am afraid that my ex might be moving on, but then again, I don’t know if contacting her right now is the best because I don’t know if she is ready to talk yet. So would it be best to wait until 30 days have passed? And after the No Contact period, would it be best for me to contact her first, or should I wait for her to contact me when she is ready?

Me and my ex were together for 4 and a half months. She mentioned a while ago when a guy messaged her that they had a thing before me and her but she assured me that it was the past. Apparently not. She broke up with me because I don’t have a job and I’m apparently lazy. I smoke cigarettes and weed and I am forcing myself to quit these things and I feel like its the only chance of getting her back. Ive also been looking suuuper hard.for a job, but it isnt easy when youre17. This guy that she had a thing with before us is now going all out to try and snatch her up. She broke up with me a week ago and I got information from her friend that she has already gone out on 2 dates with him… that hit me like a train. As soon as I heard that I bursted into tears. She seems like the type to come back after a while but im just not sure because she mentioned that she just doesnt feel the same way about me as she did before, the “butterflies” are missing. I will do anything in my power to get her back because what i dont think she realises is that I am the one who actually cares about her and loves her and this other guy just wants sex. I am way too attatched to this girl and she has such a huge part of my heart and its killing me that she left me so suddenly. 🙁 I REALLY need your help…

Let’s say you and your ex-girlfriend used to fight all the time regarding your possessiveness. Rate yourself; are you too possessive? If so, you should understand that it is not healthy for a relationship. If on the other hand, you saw your ex-girlfriend with another boy, one who is more outgoing than you, so you must change? No. You’re should never change, but you can improve yourself.

Recall who between you initiated the break-up – If it was you, then assess whether you did it after carefully thinking about it or just because you are overwhelmed with anger. If it was your ex-girlfriend, recall if she had specific reasons why she initiated it. The same goes if the break-up was a mutual decision. Dig deeper why the two of you decided to break up in the first place.

The fact is that the pain that you are feeling right now is ACTUALLY real. Scientific studies have proven this that breakup pain is an automatic triggered reaction in the same part of our human brain that gets activated during actually physical pain. Also, with that said, the pain that you are going through right now is also extremely common.

Im wondering if anybody can help me through my situation. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and I want to get back with her, i need good coaching and advice. She is at college(an hour away from where we both live, we are both freshmen this year). She broke up with me the first week she left. She claimed i was super clingy and the embarrassing part is I know I was and I am fixing it. She claims to have found another guy, but her sisters who really want us to get back together said that she is only friends with this guy. They said she hasn’t been herself since she left. I have not contacted her since then. It was on Aug 20th when we broke up. We dated for 3 weeks but we were really great friends for quite sometime and we have had a couple of run ins where we bumped heads previously and we forgave each other. I was wondering if anybody can help coach me to win her back in 4 weeks. I have not contacted her since the breakup.

You let your ex walk all over you. You become a doormat. You agree to the most ridiculous demands your ex has. But your instincts tell you, it’s OK. Because having your ex in your life is the only thing that matters.

You have to bring back the balance in your priorities first before you can make the tips on how to get your ex-girlfriend to want you back work on your favor. If you realized that your present state of mind already evolved and that your ex starts to make you feel happy, then it may be wise to rekindle the relationship as this is the time when you are already mature enough to balance and know your priorities.

In this case, should i inform her that I would not contact her for a while, or still answer her calls but keep the conversation to general topics and avoid getting to serious topics? Or should I just ignore her (and might push her more away)?

HER REPLY: “The thing is, is it’s not all of a sudden. It might be for you but it’s not for me. Why do you think I’ve been saying to you that you surely would have noticed. Even my mum has noticed for a long time, she even questioned me on going on the holiday with you. The first time I mentioned it to you was Barcelona, you could even go far back as the first time I broke up with you. And during those times the only convincing anyone has done is you trying to convince me this is just how a relationship goes and then myself trying to convince myself that I’m in love with you. Ivan I tell you I love you because I do love you. But to be honest I can’t actually recall saying to you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, in fact that phrase coming from my mouth feels foreign. I respond to your gorgeous text everyday in that fashion because I would feel terrible if I didn’t, but I think I should want to do it first thing when I open my eyes, I should want to beat you to it, but instead I would’t even notice if you didn’t.

Tuck away those reminders so you’re not drawing into that feeling of longing every time you walk by them. Your home should be a place where you can relax from your day to day worries – there’s no need to make it a shrine to one worry in particular. Remembering the good times can feel nice for a minute, but it will only make moving on even harder. Once you put away the reminders, you’ll find it easier to stop missing her.