i am an 18 year old male, i broke up with my ex girlfriend almost 3 months ago, we was together almost 5 years, we had a strong bond but we went through an unfortunate abortion, during this situation she got attached to the baby im her stomach but wasnt finacially stable to take care of a child, her anxiety got really bad and she pushed me away and wouldnt let me near her, after almost a month of this she broke up with me stating that she had lost feelings and doesnt want to be with me anymore, we have broken up and got back together alot in the past, but this time is different, i acted irrational and constantly begged and stated how upset and lonely i was without her, i irratated her to the point of she blocked me on afew social medias, but she left 1 line of communication open via instagram, i often message her but she doesnt reply but she reads the messages, if she doesnt look at the message fast enough i panic and irratate her with more, she then replies with “Go away, leave me alone, move on i want you to” i ask her why we broke up and all she says is ‘everything’ thats all she says, i truley believe there is a chance but she is being too stubon to admit it, im really confused and in a bad place, there was never any cheating, im so worried that the no contact rule will not work, although if it doesnt im still in the same place im in now so what can get worse… i read alot of these getting ex back websites but im never really satisfied with the information as every situation is very different, i really do want her back, and the relationship will be great if i get the chance to reconcile it, im really in need of some help im looking forward to your help and also the no contact daily email help as i need as much help as i can get.
I don’t know. We have a baby together but I hurt him really bad. He says he needs time to figure out what he wants. He says he thinks of me sometimes and misses home sometimes but I don’t give him time to actually miss me because I bother him everyday. He doesn’t trust me at all. But he was so so inlove with me. He says he doesn’t know if he loves me. Then when I say how could he not love me he says “I never said that” what?! I’m so confused ?
Ok, so you sent out your text to remind them of the good ole days where the two of you were as thick as thieves but they haven’t responded yet. First off, it isn’t the end of the world. Sometimes people get busy and don’t have time to respond right away. Waite a few days before you jump to any conclusions.
Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention last night after a stressful week I had some anxiety and said some insecure things to her while we were talking. Stuff along the line of “you were my best friend” and “second chance” were mentioned. I realized my mistake changed the subject almost immediately and continued to have a good conversation, but it was a moment of weakness nonetheless. Do I just continue on as normal?
My situation is a little different. I am 22 and my boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me. It was basically because he thought we were sexually incompatible (which isn’t really true, as I change drastically depending on what’s going on around me) and it wasn’t going to work out.
Basically, the no contact period should be as long as it takes you to get yourself together and feel great about your life without your ex. In my experience, it can take up to 30 days. However, in extreme cases, it could range from anywhere from 2 months to 6 months.
One thing to think about is whether someone is playing a power game to manipulate a return from the ex, or whether their process is one based on soul-searching and skill-building aimed at real personal growth.
Given the circumstances, he may either be currently unsure on how he feels about you and is trying to figure things out, or he may be pushing you away because something happened, in which case you’ll have to figure which of the 2 it is. It’s also surprising that he said yes to being exclusive but retracts it the very next day, stating that he has issues he wants to sort out first and not telling you about these things before hand.
My boyfriend broke up with after 5 1/2 months of dating. We met on a dating site and we hit it off immediately. We had amazing dates and talks. We had a powerful connection immediately. I met his dad he met my dad. He lives 45 minutes away from me but we still saw each other every 10 days or so, sometimes more frequent. He wanted to be exclusive after date 3. We talked about taking trips in the future and other plans. We did have the where is this going talk and it seemed we were on the same page. His job was taking a lot out of him and he was definitely stressed. I pulled back a little to not give him any pressure. His Good morning texts and Goodnight texts were becoming less. Then he didn’t text or call for 3 days. He seemed very distant the last couple of weeks. I ended up texting him about why he wont talk to me and whats going on. He then called the next morning and broke up with me. He said he is still grieving his divorce ( from a year ago) and feels fear. He started counseling and he said they talk about me. He loves and fears me. He needed time to figure things out but he ended it, no maybe’s or well see.
Perhaps the lack of time in spending with her, and also a new colleague of her appearing, took a liking in her, did things better than me to her(lots of things i did for her during the earlier parts of our relationship) and has a stronger financial backing than me.
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You have to figure out whether his intentions are out of concern as a friend, or he actually likes you still, or just wants the benefits (hookup). Regardless, it would best for you to give him some space, considering you don’t know what his intentions are, and he may not know either. Apply the No Contact Rule and focus on yourself in the meantime. If he likes you, he will come back.
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Oh my goodness. You’re literally in the same position I’m in!!! I, too, met this guy online and he was so incredibly sweet the first few times we talked. We had crazy chemistry and almost each time we talked it was so loving and affectionate. He also wrote love songs about me. For literally three months I’ve been planning to visit him. And it never worked out right away. Well, recently he wanted me to see him because he was going to be leaving the country soon for work, and I couldn’t see him due to my overprotective family trying to prohibit me from seeing him because he’s someone I met online. Well, shortly after our phone call…he texted me saying, “Better to have your support from a distance. Lots of love.” I completely broke down. I wish I could just go back in time and change e everything. He blocked my number after I sent him so many loving texts and emails. I just have a feeling he might miss me but I doubt he will ever want me back…but I still believe there could be hope for us. I’m praying everything works out if it’s truly meant to be.
If you ever, even for a second, doubt my love for you, speak to me immediately. Don’t just sit there and start assuming things. Don’t just sit there and wallow in misery of our broken love. Don’t resort to these unreasonable measures. Just ask me. It’s my job to remind you that I do in fact love you every single day.
I’m so sorry to read about your situation, it’s so sad. If you want my advice, you should give him some space for some few weeks, don’t try to call him, don’t pressure him into confessing his love, he will slip between your fingers, just let him breathe and feel free, then start escalating things slowly and don’t try to do the things you love, have fun with your baby and try to live your life for yourself, he’ll find you so attractive again that he wont be able to hold himself but come back to you.
However, my ex boyfriend is not currently at the table with me on this one since we are broken up. (He is not ignoring me or saying we will never be together again, but is making it very clear that our relationship is over.) I have been very clingy in the past and ‘convinced him’ to stay with me when there were problems. I think he is worried I will keep doing that so he keeps telling me that it is definitely over.
Would you like to know whether he is over his ex-wife or not? Well, let me present you with the following quiz, it will help you tremendously know what he is thinking about and whether he still has feelings for his ex-wife or not.
Remember that no contact is ultimately meant for you to pick yourself up and to create a version of yourself that would make your ex fall for you again. Whether she starts to move on or not shouldn’t matter, because she’s moving on from the image and impression she had of you before the change. As long as the relationship with her was meaningful, there’s always a strong possibility of her falling for you again if you seemed to have made significant positive changes to yourself, which captures her attention.
If at least the one who committed a totally out of bounds act does a thorough rethinking and relearning the result the result can be betterment and continuation of the marriage, provided s/he becomes totally clear that s/he will not repeat the behavior. If not, the marriage is in big trouble. At the same time, odds for successful resumption of a better marriage zoom up if both partners engage in learning.
Carrie Cole, M.Ed., LPC, master certified trainer and director of research at the Gottman Institute, tells Cosmopolitan.com that a couple’s mutual well-being is rooted in trust, shared goals and interests, an ability to have fun together, and a willingness to address differences of opinion gently.
The whole point of No Contact is to avoid conversations with her, general or relationship wise until you feel more sorted out emotionally to deal with things rationally. The only conversations that is encouraged is if it’s a serious issue (financial matters, divorce paperwork, children, etc). You should tell her that you would like some space since the relationship has ended to work on yourself.
“In this part, I will need to know more about the basics of your past relationship, life and what you believe about relationships in general. This will help determine the overall category that your breakup fits in.”
She got a feeling that I cheated or betrayed her. But I haven’t done anything wrong or insincere to her except hiding or telling lie. But that is most important to her but its normal to me. But I’m ready to change. My company is going thru a financial struggle and I need this relationship back to set right everything. I need her back at any cost for the rest of my life. We are meeting every day at the office and having normal and official communications directly and over the phone also. But she shows no intimacy to any of these communications and she told that she is not even thinking about me when I’m away. Need your sincere help and advice to her back.
Note: Although the quiz uses an advanced algorithm to calculate the score, it is not 100% accurate. However, the results should prove to be helpful and guide you further through what you should do next.
ExposingLove.com is a relationship advice website that has helped many women in difficult situations with their love lives – to reach a place of calm and happiness with their very own Mr. Right. Though each situation is different, most of the advice on this website can be applied.
Yes if you haven’t done NC before, and have still been in contact with him through the 3 months, it might be better to actually proceed with the No Contact rule to separate yourself from the situation.
Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!