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My Ex GF broke up with me after 14 months of dating. She’s 24 and I’m 28. We were together for 5 months in the beginning, until I had to move across the country for a solid job. We decided to keep things going being happy and madly in love. I was able to fly back and visit her on a regular monthly basis anywhere from 1 week, to 2-3 weeks at a time during the holiday months at a time. Over time, the distance took a toll on her. Eventually I could see she heart was less in it. Finally after my last visit during Valentine’s week, she decided to break up with me. I asked would things be different if I relocated back home? She said she’s sure about her decision and needs her space, and she didn’t feel in love with me like she used to. Sadly I didn’t come across your page until now. After only 1 1/2 weeks later of no contact, I emailed her to let her know my company was in full support of me moving back and I would keep my job. I asked if we could talk about it, we did, and she said it doesn’t change how she feels. She wants to be single, and doesn’t want to get back with me. She’s happy I’ll be home with my friends and family, but doesn’t see us getting back together. I made the mistakes, I smothered her, and begged her to take me back, and obviously she didn’t budge and probably was pushed away even further. I’ll be moved back at the end of this month, which by that time will be 2 weeks since we last spoke. I realize I was desperate, and as much as I want to reach out to her when I’m back, I should probably give it the full 30 days, or however long I need to feel confident, and independently happy, correct? How long should I wait? Do you think I’m making the right choice by wanting to get back with her? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for all your help.
when she came back for the Xmas/new year, we saw, she asked me to bring over food and drinks on Xmas day, I did, I kissed her but lightly, and said our good nights, cause I didn’t want to push it far.
The beginning, or “honeymoon phase” of a relationship is an exciting, magical time. You two were doing fun things together. You were enjoying getting to know each other and exploring with each other. You were equal with each other.
I speak about this in my article on texting your ex-girlfriend again here. I call this the elephant in the room approach. You acknowledge the elephant in the room by stating everything that happened and apologize for it.
For most of us this is simply impossible and so we try to impose our way of life, expectations and sets of values on our partner when things aren’t going our way. Life throws curve-balls and you don’t always have the time, perspective, serenity and confidence to figure out what you need to do to stay in perfect harmony with your partner; and to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
Prepare your words. The first thing that you say to your ex is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get them back. You need to understand that even though you’re not together, there is a good chance they still harbor strong feelings for you.
This may put pressure on you and make you feel self-conscious, and it should. The fact is, you conquer a man’s heart by conquering what’s in his pants, like no other woman ever could. Everything after that is easier. Yet again, this night needs to be different than in the past. It should not remind you too much of the time you were together before, it needs to be better.
My apologies, I must have missed that point. Yes, Dan is right. You shouldn’t let what she did in the time you guys were broken up affect you, because she was free to do whatever she wanted back then. The important thing is that now she’s with you, it doesn’t continue to happen. If it’s an issue that’s bothering you, sit down and have a talk with her to tell her how you feel, and find a way to compromise so that respect for one another can be earned. As Dan had also mentioned, her lack of respect for you was probably attributed to the past relationship and how you acted. Ideally, if you followed no contact rule, you should have worked on those issues by now, and made some significant changes in your life which would change the way she views you.
Limiting your contact may mean avoiding any messaging via text or social media. If you really feel you need more distance and space, you might want to consider unfriending your partner from Facebook and removing their number from your phone. This will prevent you from being tempted to drop in your partner’s life while you are apart and can help you re focus on your issues and needs away from your partner.
Nor did she admit any mistakes. Nor did she take time to ‘find herself’. She has not been single since the age of 15 (had relationship from 15-17, 17-22, 22-25 with me, and now with someone else). I feel so blinded that this girl can jump so quickly after being with me for 2.5 years and hinting at an engagement ring 4 months prior to our breakup.
After researching over the internet, I found Michael’s Youtube videos. He talks about important aspects of a healthy relationship that I feel my relationship was missing. The thing that I like most about Michael’s videos was he was a relationship coach who has hundred of likes in his Youtube videos. I knew it is easy to get likes on your Youtube video but the interaction and feedback he was getting from his audience seems real dude to me.
Whatever it is – it’s an opportunity to text him, “Hey, I saw a commercial for a cruise the other day and it reminded me when we went to the beach for a week together. That was so much fun, I’m really glad we did that together.” [otp_overlay]