Your articles have been a big help. I (29 years old with past relationship experiences) met an almost divorced guy on dating app who lives in a city 700 miles away. I considered the dangers but it has been a while for him, he will be finally divorced in a month. We hit it off vert well, we discussed we were going fast, and we decided to continue but very slow. We mutually decided to meet also. The travel plan was for me to fly. And we booked the tickets 10 days in advance. On the day of flight, he messages me not to come. And then adds “Don’t bother replying or calling. Have good luck.” I suffer from severe anxiety and abandonment issues. So I was shocked but I still kept my cool, and tried to talk to him, figuring out what it means. He didn’t say anything until after I cancelled my flight in the evening when he succinctly says he is sorry but it is overwhelming. Now I know it’s more about him not being ready. But I also can’t stop wondering that I could have gone more slow, and done more things to make sure he doesn’t feel overwhelmed. But nevertheless he never replied anymore and it seems we are over. I am treating it as a break up. And plan to follow your suggestion of not contacting him for at least 30 days and then texting him. I have dated and been with some good men too with whom it just didn’t work. So I know the different connections and with this man I see a future. Not in a desperate way where I will act out of fear but in a way I know it’s a rare good connection. So I want it to work. When he is ready I want him to contact me. I want him to miss me, but like I said he is divorced and exactly after a month (my 30 day) is his divorce day. Now throughout our dating, he has always talked about his hardships about the whole divorce, once he was on call with me for 7 hours, on a divorce court date. He shared when he got the final divorce date too. So my question to you is that after my 30 day of no contact, it’s that final divorce court date when he will be finally free as he puts it. Should I do my first text on that date? Or wait for a few more days? I must agree I am worried to lose him. Because I am a little odd person. It’s rare for me to find a connection. I find it with him. But I remember your article about two kinds of people. I have worked hard at being the second kind, but my fears are very strong. So I am confused as to how I should approach the whole thing! Yesterday I was good in not texting him back a lot, until it was night when I sent two long messages spaced a few hours apart. Immediately after that he went invisible on whatsapp. I know it was for me. But I haven’t messaged him at all after that and I will not. That’s where your post helped me a lot. I really struggle in these kinds of situations. I do well if communication was very straight but it is not so often. I hope you can help me.
I like your articles and need ur help. I’m a single mom in my 30s, Successful, independent, good looking and men hit on me all the time. My problem is I had an affair with my married best friend under the tag of “love” and I finally broke off when I realized it’s not what I want. It’s still very painful as we were friends since teenage! And it was beautiful moments as friends and when we were together so it was hard to let go but I do not wish to be the other woman. He still wants me to wait and give him time to sort things with his wife. I don’t know how to tell him I want to move on without hurting his feelings and how do I get back to dating field without any fear of men just wanting to have a sexual relationship. Please help.
The Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory groups personality types into four major groups: The artistic and adventurous Artisans, the analytical and intellectual Rationals, the diligent, responsible Guardians and the passionate, emotional Idealists.
Hi ive been dating my partner for 6 months now. Everything was going perfect for us both.she fell pregnant and i proposed and we got engaged what we both wanted we were both so happy.she decided to have an abortion due to we both wernt financially stable and didnt plan the pregnancy.its was an emotional time for both of us individually. I unfortunately didnt show her support or comfort her during this life changing experience and i made a regretful unmeanful decision and broke up with her.we have been separated for 2 months now and we meet up a month ago caught up for 2 days she mentioned her feelings we still there altho she doesnt want any comments on a relationship at this stage. Until i become more stable and fix some issues i have in my life.I have acknowledged my behavior as i was expressing my hurt emotions and feelings towards her and i begged alittle and didny get me anywhere.. she isnt respondingto my messages or call I’ve respect our situation and havnt its been bit over 2 weeks ive made no contact,until Christmas day i wished her a merry Christmas i didnt get a reply. Im making positive changes in my life and improving my issues. I need some professional guidance and advice aswell as steps to reconnect with my ex.. I sincerely appreciate your understanding and support. Regards Theo
I have a very good feeling that if we can get to a point where we can talk openly and he isn’t feeling pressured to get back together, we will have an excellent chance to make it work. I want to work to make big changes to make our sex life better and I know if I can show this to him, he will definitely want to reconsider. He is also young like me and very impulsive. We had a great relationship other than this issue.
Many texts went back and forth he stated he was in a bad place he is drinking too much and angry at his ex. he said his heart wasn’t in it with me. He asked me to give him time, he said he wanted me to meet the real him and not the angry guy he is now. He wants to bring me on romantic weekends away and surprise dates when he gets his head straight. He stated he was only dating me and had no interest in dating sites. He asked me to give him time stating he really liked me. I asked him to delete any naughty texts etc we sent each other he said he was sad deleting them and would miss spending time with me. I did did not reply two hours later he texted again asking me to give him time and said please don’t hate me. I told him to sort his head out and id look forward to meeting the real him but told him not to take too long. He said he wouldn’t as he really liked me. All his messages were signed off with an x.
To be honest, I think it’s actually a good time to send him the email, as it creates a bigger impact (birthday, Christmas and the start of his holiday). If you want him back, you could send the email then and definitely include the birthday and Christmas wishes as well.
I have a big gigantic crush and he used to like me and then my BEST friend told everyone in my class that I have a crush on him and everyone told him and now he hates me… no body can replace him I have nothing to do!!! can any of you help???
That’s good Emily, initiate No Contact first and give both parties some space to let go of any negative emotions or thoughts. He may very well be serious about the possibility of working out, but that’s definitely not something that can be achieved right now.
It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact and given my ex space, a task someone difficult because we work together. I never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me and will barely reply to text messages. Typically she’ll reply to the initial message, but getting a second reply doesn’t happen much. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?
I don’t know if i have did something wrong but 2 days ago i have update my blog about my life than right at the bottom i put a p.s stating that “i still miss him”. I did not update a post yst and i can see someone still reading my previous post and i guess its him. Then today i post something about my life again then below i again post a p.s saying “i still love him and miss him i wish he could let me love him again but i know its impossible”. I guess he have read it maybe more than once. Should i stop updating my blog or stop the p.s msg thing.
Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texts are sacred, meaning that people rarely share them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you. [otp_overlay]