However, if your ex is currently calling you everyday or texting you everyday, then yes you should let them know that you don’t want them to contact you for a short period of time. Don’t give them any specifics. Just tell them to not contact you until you decide to contact them. Let them know you need some space and time right now.
If the problem had to do more with him, then you can think about how you can be together again without this issue — maybe he’ll be willing to change. But if he’s not willing to change and you know this will be an issue long term, then you should consider whether or not it’s worth it to get him back.
A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. This is completely NOT TRUE. Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped.
You may hear from mutual friends that he called you a bad name/s or you may get the feeling that he hates you or wants nothing to do with you. Don’t worry, he is emotional and doesn’t mean it. Besides, after 30 days he will change his tune.
So do try to gently push unproductive thoughts away from you, and focus instead on positive endeavors you care about. Let’s see if we can apply the concept of the cognitive triangle to how to move forward in your case:
Once you re-gain control over your emotions then in the 2nd step you will find out reasons and causes that lead to breakup. You just can’t go to old relationship with just a simple apology. You have to fix the old problem that leads to breakup to win your ex back once again.
Unless one problem in the relationship was your independence; you should be more independent than last time. Don’t build your social schedule around your boyfriend’s, and spend more time with friends or just doing your own thing.
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, “Sure!” In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.
Hi thanks for the great advice! Also it’s hard with the NC rule due to we work together. Just today I talked with her for the first time in 4 days only because I have to at work. Although I said hello and merry Christmas, it was still strictly only work related . She was very dry with me even though it was only work related.
She’s also down to diagnose all of my relationship problems and help me flirt when I’m crushing on someone new. In fact, she walked with me from our apartment to the restaurant where I had my first date post-breakup, and told me about 500 times along the 15-minute walk how lucky any girl would be to go out with someone as smart, and funny, and pretty as me. And I’m willing to do the same for her. (BTW, she’s single and attracted to people of all genders.)
Since the breakup, I’ve put in a lot of work to make myself better. The breakup hurt like hell and I let her know how much I regretted letting us fall apart, but I never begged or groveled for her back. Instead I channeled my sadness into fixing all the things I hated about myself at the time. I’ve sought out help for a gambling problem, calmed down the drinking and gotten into better shape. We still talk semi-often, mostly through text or when we run into eachother at a bar or event.
The date went very well (she did most of the talking) and we went to a few places afterwards. Eventually, she dropped a hint that she wanted to go to her apartment. While there we had plenty of alone time and she put herself in multiple situations where things could happen but was not exhibiting any obvious signs. She did this the rest of the night and it confused the hell out of me.
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hi kelvin, I broke with my boyfriend before six months after long relationship means five years he is 27 and am 28. we live in distant to work and only met to holiday and to break.we had no any sex history during those years I said to him sex must be after marriage and he said ok .before a year I said to him i don’t want him anymore but not from my bottom but the reason was we were in distant specially I was working in harsh environment plus and community and i was always want him in my side means I was always waiting my boyfriend to visit me but he was always busy this was the reason. and his friend call me and ask why i became like this and i understood my fault and I was calling to him but he was ignoring me and one day he was picking my calls and we were talk and regret each other and i back to my family to searching job and within two months we dated only two days but I need more date with him but he was busy and I was going to his work place and asking him why ignoring my calls and he said that he need clear cut I said why and we’re plan to date and to talk about it but we didn’t met. As he said now he was waiting my calls first but I was trying but he ignoring me after that I always messaged to him but no respond and again I was going to his work place with gifts he was surprised and dated to the next day and we did and I was asking why he was ignoring my calls he said he don’t want me any more he need freedom without stress and expose him self new hobbies like smoking cigarette ,drunk alcohol and chewing stimulate plants and i did no contact to 30 days and i did text to him no respond and what can I do next
This is the power of jealousy. Now, I am NOT recommending that you go out and date someone new. I am recommending that you drop certain hints in your communication with your ex boyfriend that you are out meeting new people. The key to this is that YOU CAN’T BE OBVIOUS. Do you think you will get very far if you rub the fact that you are out and about with other guys? The answer is no. There is a subtle art to incorporating jealousy texts into your conversations and I am going to teach you that art.
It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact, given her space , never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me and will barely reply to text messages. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas. Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?
Peter realized that now, as an adult, he had more options than he had had as a child for finding solutions to his life challenges. Therein lay the hope for change, pointing the way toward healing. He could safely ask his therapist for attention. His wife also did not intent to put him in a demeaning or emasculating position. She just wanted change.
Hi Patrick… You will need to apply the advice & strategies outlined above, regardless of your situation. Your ex girlfriend will likely need time to reflect and she may (hopefully) eventually accept your explanation as the truth. Nonetheless, give her time and space, re-kindle attraction, and then begin the process of seducing her again. Good luck; hope it works out for you.
I will txt or call you not as a couple. Like a friendship. and she told me ‘ok’. Since that day… I have felt like living in the hell. Only crying. No eating. No work out. My recent life is full of missing her.