I’m really missing her and don’t know if i should ever get in touch with her .. its been 14 days… Should I try to get in touch soon and have a proper mature discussion about us breaking up? It just bothers me so much how we had something so good and it just crashed and burned. For some reason I keep thinking we should try again in the future as we do have a deep bond and according to 2 mutual friends, she is battling through some depression which caused her to reach out to her ex whenever she felt insecure with us doing distance. Does NOT justify it.. but I feel sorry for her in that she was battling that stuff…
When women attempt to communicate their feelings of fear, dismay, or anxiety, they use words, cite facts, or employ a tone that causes a man to imagine he is being attacked. In her mind she is looking for compassion and understanding, but to his ears she is finding fault with him. Unfortunately, when a man feels attacked he responds defensively. He either waits quietly for his wife to finish her tirade, defends himself, counter attacks, or leaves.
Been 1 year now since my gorgeous Ex left me we where together for 2 years strong but after the first year we wanted a family so we got pregnant and where going to have a daughter but 22 weeks we had a Miscarriage!!
Denver clinical psychologist Susan Heitler, Ph.D, a graduate of Harvard and NYU, is author of Power of Two, a book, a workbook, and a website that teach the communication skills that save and sustain positive relationships.
You should also listen to your ex-partner as they speak as a way to tell if they are interested in getting back together. If they use terms like “we” or “us”, they may be open to entering back into the relationship. Your ex-partner may also discuss how they feel, using “I” statements, and be willing to discuss your issues without judgement and with honesty.
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
My girlfriend and I were together for a year and 2 months and she kept repeating, daily, that this is the best thing in her life, and we’re meant together. We are very close. I’ve personally never known a person I want to be with more than her, and she expressed the same in visits, writing letters, and texts. Around Christmas, while she was staying with her family (she lives in the adjacent country but we travel constantly to see each other), and after a small discussion about where she might get a job and where we would live together, she turned completely and said (on new year’s eve) she can’t do a relationship anymore, she wants to be alone, that she’s a toxic person to me (she isn’t), and never wants a relationship again, ever, with anyone. She did not explain the details why making such a heavy decision, she said she feels inadequate, and that I shouldn’t contact her any more if I want her to stay. I am very confused. Now it’s been twenty days since we last had any contact and it’s killing me, I miss her and I wish we could talk. I have no idea what to do.
It doesn’t matter what method you choose to get in your life back, don’t forget to take digital pictures. Take lot of digital pictures and put them as your profile picture in instant messaging services like Skype, Whatsapp, Viber etc. Don’t forget to post these pictures in your Facebook page as well.
Once you’re done figuring things out on your own, you obviously need to have a conversation with your ex. An honest convo guys, not one where you’re both just like, “I miss you, I can’t live without you!” Talk about what you both want to change, what you want in the future and what’s been going on while you were together. Get everything out there now!
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Hey my name is Wendy, me and my now boyfriend have been together for 6 months and we ended breaking up. It was rough because I really do love him and he made a big impact on my life. Anyways I knew it was the right thing to get back with him because even after we broke up he still texted and called me like he always did. After a couple of days of always seeing each other where ever we went he came up to me and asked me out again. I knew it was right to say yes because he would always tell me and show me that he loves me in anyway he could. Well we are still together and it’s been going really great!!!!
Another thing that ties into it is what I call Covert Jealousy — that means making your ex jealous without making them seem like you’re trying to make them jealous. You can do this by dating other people!
I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn’t love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn’t find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it’s business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn’t paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn’t look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn’t get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend. My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn’t holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so ..
I am sorry that you are going through this pain. The first thing you need to do is back off for a while. If she is dating someone else, you need to respect her new relationship and don’t do anything that threatens it.
My ex and I have been talking ever so slightly lately but nothing substantial. About a month ago I asked her in person if she was mad at me and she said yes bc of stuff I said to another person. She didn’t tell me what I said or who I said it to. Honestly I have no clue. She added how she thought it was funny how I said that we would get back together one day(she dumped me) but that I closed the door on us even being friends. She’s only 23 and I’m the only person she dated. I’m having a hard time getting her to talk to me about it. A bit afraid to ask her in person bc she’s always surrounded with her friends at work and don’t feel it’s appropriate to show up at her home. She won’t reply to a text that involves talking about why she’s upset. What do I do? What are my options here?
My boyfriend broke up with after 5 1/2 months of dating. We met on a dating site and we hit it off immediately. We had amazing dates and talks. We had a powerful connection immediately. I met his dad he met my dad. He lives 45 minutes away from me but we still saw each other every 10 days or so, sometimes more frequent. He wanted to be exclusive after date 3. We talked about taking trips in the future and other plans. We did have the where is this going talk and it seemed we were on the same page. His job was taking a lot out of him and he was definitely stressed. I pulled back a little to not give him any pressure. His Good morning texts and Goodnight texts were becoming less. Then he didn’t text or call for 3 days. He seemed very distant the last couple of weeks. I ended up texting him about why he wont talk to me and whats going on. He then called the next morning and broke up with me. He said he is still grieving his divorce ( from a year ago) and feels fear. He started counseling and he said they talk about me. He loves and fears me. He needed time to figure things out but he ended it, no maybe’s or well see.
Since you already told him that you will be there for him, then you can reply to him when he contacts you. However, if him contacting you is slowing your progress, then you will have to eventually tell him to give you some time and space.
To humility and self-awareness I would add skills. That’s why I wrote my book Power of Two and the website poweroftwomarriage.com. I’d sure love to see more folks access the gratifications of a fully loving committed relationship….
The way you communicate with her via text and in calls will need to change. Given that you’re in a break up you’ve probably been doing it completely wrong, replying instantly to her messages even though she takes hours to respond to you. This has to stop and you need to start doing it right, after the no contact period. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast by text message, although be aware, texts are only part of it.
My apologies, I must have missed that point. Yes, Dan is right. You shouldn’t let what she did in the time you guys were broken up affect you, because she was free to do whatever she wanted back then. The important thing is that now she’s with you, it doesn’t continue to happen. If it’s an issue that’s bothering you, sit down and have a talk with her to tell her how you feel, and find a way to compromise so that respect for one another can be earned. As Dan had also mentioned, her lack of respect for you was probably attributed to the past relationship and how you acted. Ideally, if you followed no contact rule, you should have worked on those issues by now, and made some significant changes in your life which would change the way she views you.
The best way to ask them out is to give them a call. It’s possible they might require a slight push. A simple “come on, it’ll be fun.” Or “Hey, it’s just coffee. What’s the harm?” should be sufficient.
If you have been able to re-seduce your ex after years of being apart and ultimately got back together for good don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below. Your approach and tips could be of great benefit to someone looking to get back with a lost love!
Incorporate a when and how to everything that you will set out to achieve; for example write down every Friday I will run 3 miles. This is a simple yet perfectly formulated goal as you will know every Saturday morning whether you stayed on course or if you are slacking!
Being a happy and confident person is probably the most important thing when it comes to getting your ex back. You need to realize that happiness and confidence is something that you can get by working on yourself. Here are a few ideas that will help you gain more confidence and become a happier person.
My break up was circumstantial. What happened was we met at work and dated for 4 months. It was way too fun we made each other laugh, sex was intense, good convo very at ease with each other. Ppl said we were perfect for each other all the time because we really are very similar in personality. I knew he was leaving to an immense new city in a nearby country. It’s a one yr job with no possibility to stay longer. He had worked for years, put in sweat and blood (literally-he’s a chef) to prove himself to obtain this job.