my girfriend broke up with me a month ago, she told me she wasnt ready for a relationship and i was too into her more she was into me and she wanted some space.. so i gave her some space but a week later i end up getting drunk in a bar, then i see her .. i approach her and ask if we can talk ( iwasdrunk) then we went to the parking lot… i asked if she could come back to me she said she wants to be single… then i accidentally said something disrespectful, she slapped me and asked me how many bottles i drank… i was in rage of anger because she didnt want to fix things. then when she left.. i started texting her nasty things… well i was drunk… now i regret everything ive done on that day… and she called the next day after that saying she doesnt like me anymore and shes never coming back.. is that because shes really angry? i sent her flowers she threw them away.. im so stupid to get drunk that night… now after 2 weeks i heard she likes this other guy but i dont know if she really likes the guy or not… its only been a month and shes searching for another guy to like? i thought she wasnt ready to be in a relationship?… i need help.. how do i get her back and put interest. thanks…

A huge misconception out there is that because you did the dumping it is a lot easier to get back with your ex. This is completely NOT TRUE. Trust me, your going to have to do a lot of work, perhaps more than the women who were dumped.

Because he was feeling so much better about himself with his new problem-solving and listening habits, Peter was able to talk with his wife in the playful and engaging mode that had attracted her when they had first met.  Paulette was delightfully surprised.  She appreciated his clarity about the mistaken roads he had taken. She liked his vision of the new Peter.  She especially like the many ways that already he was acting in the new ways.  She felt for the first time in years that Peter was actually seeing and listening to her instead of locked in a narcissistic bubble.  

But I’d go over the memory of her in my mind — her maraschino cherry hair, her septum ring, the shiny stud in the side of her nose, the big black plugs in her ears — and worry that someone as edgy as she was would never go for a nerdy, plain woman like me. I settled for just being friends.

Hi, need help. my ex boyfriend called my recent boyfriend and told him not to call me anymore. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that the dude was just jealous that I’m now seeing him but he doesn’t wanna take my story. I love this guy and had been with him for 3 weeks but now we don’t contact each other anymore. What must I do?

In LESSON 1, we talked about the “push and pull” and how the reflexive reaction to a break up is to “push, push, push” in a desperate attempt to get back together. But, unfortunately, that almost always backfires – they “pull” back for every “push” you exert. Keeping contact to a bare minimum makes it so you can’t push and allows any pushing from the past to “heal” (or, in other words, be forgotten).

Me and my girlfriend were together for about a month and a half. She meant the world to me ( still does). 2 days ago she broke up with me without giving me any chance to talk to her or speak my mind. I realize that why we broke up is because i fucked up, but i thought that she would give me a little more of a chance than what she did.

When your ex sees that you’re a highly sought-after partner, they will feel an uncontrollable amount of attraction for you. Human beings are subconsciously hard-wired to feel attraction for other highly sought after men and women.

To humility and self-awareness I would add skills. That’s why I wrote my book Power of Two and the website poweroftwomarriage.com. I’d sure love to see more folks access the gratifications of a fully loving committed relationship….

Once you complete the above exercise, you will able to see your relationship through clear and objective eyes. The idea of this exercise is not to judge you or your partner instead it is to examine your relationship dynamics.

I never though I would care for my girl after she dumped me after being with another dude …I loved her but I wasn’t ready to do things which weren’t appropriate it felt wrong but now its been a month since we broke up n I thought I never loved her but I do its so hard to express my feelings but I guess life has its ways I hope I could gain my confidence again and I still want Lesego kg lee M back she’s with a dude n they wanted us to share her n I told the guy to look after her if she loves him and I’m behind him 90% but 10 % i hate myself for fyting with her I love her ..to bad I lost her 🙂 lol L.I.G.A.F.B.L.T.H

Be proud of yourself for working hard to get your ex back. At least now you know that it wasn’t worth it after all — it’s better to know the truth than to wonder what could have happened if you fought for his heart again.

Hi the NC seems to be working. At work she told me she misses me and missed my kisses. She also hinted of wanting to get back together. What should I do? Should I continue the NC rule? or just go with the flow ?

If your ex isn’t someone you could see yourself being friends with, either because you don’t get along, they did something unforgivable, or you’re too hung up on them to simply be “just friends,” your first priority after the breakup should be getting over them. There are a few different ways to achieve this, but ceasing contact with them — both in person and via your phone or computer — is of paramount importance.

hi I”m someone s ex girlfriend . yes I don”t understand why my ex walked out on me. without even saying bye bye. and why did go and cheat with my friend for why. my ex girlfriend didn’t have to do me like the way she did me. because if she did”t want me than she shoulder told me than. but I love her and I still care about her a lot . and yes I still wanna get back with her . because overtime I think of her I cry . because I misses her . wild I didn’t no that I”m boring . well why she didn’t tell me than. why sweet heart . but nope I don’t have a girlfriend no. sense my ex walked out on me . from tabitha

Have fun- If your friends invite you out to a party or club I would recommend that you go out and have fun with them. Honestly time is the number one thing that can help you get over a break up but the second best thing is definitely having fun.

The next step for you is to share each and everything that happen in the relationship. It is not your mistake if you are single now. You have to realize your relationship is a partnership where you both have emotionally invested equally. The success and failure emotionally affect both of you.

It has been 21 days since the breakup, and she has not yet spoken to me or contacted me in any way. I am afraid that my ex might be moving on, but then again, I don’t know if contacting her right now is the best because I don’t know if she is ready to talk yet. So would it be best to wait until 30 days have passed? And after the No Contact period, would it be best for me to contact her first, or should I wait for her to contact me when she is ready?

Need some help. Devastated. I was with my girlfriend for 18mths. Moved in together after 10mths. We went on a trip overseas and it was hell. two months later she ended it. She was upset she did it and said she misses me and we kept seeing each other for about a month. Then told me its not happening. She’s fallen outta love. Hurts like hell. She said she did try in that month but its gone for her and that she can’t talk for awhile and needs space. Then, stupidly, I was bored and missing her about 2wks later and sent her text saying that if i was better to her we’d be doing something together right now. She got back to me the day after and wasn’t happy at all. Asked for me to stop contacting her and that she will never love me again. Ouch! I really want her back. Not sure what to do from here. How do i get her back?

NC would help because right now although she’s still in contact with you, the fact remains the same that she won’t give you another shot. You have to give her some time to change that train of thought and by showing her you’ve changed. This is hard to see when she’s still in constant contact with you. Complete NC and work on your issues before coming back and asking her for a second chance.

This depends on what situation you’re in dude. It took me exactly 4 weeks, but I have a friend who used the same techniques and it took him 7 months. It’s also dependent on what the girl is like, but there is never a set time frame.

Now when the reasons are crystal clear of the separation, and you are emotionally stable. It is time to socialize with every individual you get in contact. Use internet, class groups. WhatsApp chats or every other sort of mixing tool. Get in touch with the old friends you have never bothered to contact after school, college or university. Increase the social circle.

If this happens that will usually mean that your mental health is going to be compromised. In other words, you are going to get really depressed and stare into space for long periods of time (like I told you I did.)

As distressing as this recent hospitalization felt, it was also deeply necessary. I needed to face my illness and understand the ways it had been poisoning my life. I needed to learn, swiftly and undeniably, that I had to change not just how I treated my bipolar disorder, but examine my own relationship to it as a marker of my identity. I needed to be in the mental hospital in order to remember why I want to live in the first place. I’m not sure I would be here today if I hadn’t been hospitalized.

Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, “Sure!” In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.

However, you have to understand just like pulling too much can take far away similarly pushing too much can also take her away. Since you want to win back your ex that is reason you have to keep balance between interest and disinterest.

Is she dating someone else? If so, did you know that you can make her realize she’d rather be with you? See page 96 for all the details (then sit back as she kicks him to the curb and comes running back to you).