It’s time to set some bad memories on fire. Literally. Sometimes hanging on to those “Do you remember the time you did such and such?” moments are the things that lead to relationship sabotage. Instead of carrying grudges around forever, torch them. “Write them all down on a piece of paper. Then set a timer for a certain amount of time. It might be 10 minutes. It might be 30. It might be the whole day. The point is: Give yourself as long as you need to really wallow in the misery of these grudges. Savor them. Get angry about them. Mutter about them. Do whatever you need to do to get sick and tired of them,” says Bowman. “Once you are done, say, ‘I will not think about these anymore. These grudges have lost their usefulness.'” Then take a match and burn them.

Note: Brad has provided complete steps on how to follow this 60-days no contact technique. In this technique Brad will show you how you can take full advantage of these no contact days so when you meet with your ex she will see completely new person.

After a few days, we met, and we agreed to build on this relationship to our best even when I’m overseas. I assured her that I did not expect her to hang on if she couldn’t handle the pressure of my presence overseas but we should at least make the best effort to maintain the relationship. Even after agreeing to be together, she looked really worried and depressed the entire day.

If you want to win your ex girl back in your life then you have to show her that you don’t need her. Same push/pull technique applies here. You have big opportunity to get back into your life once again by updating yourself.

The way back is to truly leave and regain your identity as a person without her by your side. I took the time to give other women chances and to improve my own value in connecting with someone who could be my soulmate. My ex had glimpses of my growth and I did my best to avoid and not to give her the impression I was stalking or stuck on her. Yes, it was an act and Yoon tremendous discipline but that “act” slowly becomes reality and she suddenly faced the prospect of losing me forever. She saw how people responded to me and she knew that the vested time we had together was too valuable to throw away despite a momentary infatuation (no I don’t blame her as I was a fairly negligent BF near the end)

Typically men don’t like to hurt your feelings. Thus, it is entirely possible that whatever reason they gave you for the breakup may not be completely true. I’ll admit that we men sometimes don’t even know why we want out of a relationship we just do.

You are talking to your ex on the phone and the conversation is going great. Awkward silences are left to a minimum and you can tell she is very responsive. Maybe the two of you talked about something that was funny or emotional and both of you reacted very well to it.

SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in ways that got you dumped to begin with.

Don’t beat yourself over it. These are all knee-jerk reactions after a breakup. The important thing is to realize they are mistakes and not do them again. Your relationship can still be saved if you don’t repeat these mistakes again. The best thing you can do to repair damage done is to follow step 2 diligently.

The secret is to change her mood then change her mind. How do you do it? Feelings, like the flu, are contagious. If you are spending time with someone in a great mood, you feel good. If you are with someone who’s down in the dumps, it’s easy for their pseudo-depression to rub off on you.

Listen, I know the pain and desperation you’re probably feeling right now, trying every drastic measure to get your ex–girlfriend back.  Why?  Because I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve suffered the misery of getting “dumped” by a girlfriend on more occasions than I care to admit. 

There is a big difference in acknowledging your problems rather than allowing them to control you. Knowing you have anger feeling in the objective sense will help you to control your emotions in the better way.

You have a philosophy of scarcity with regard to women. Otherwise, why not just start pursuing any of the others that are in your immediate proximity? This girl feels like the last one on the planet and it is tearing you up. Plus it makes you behave in a needy way and that turns her off further

Lost respect translates to lost attraction because a woman cannot feel attraction for a man she doesn’t respect/ feel is superior. If you even went as far as saying sorry to her at times when she gave you sh*t, then you can double the amount of respect and attraction lost because women don’t like submissive men. Submissive = inferior.

However, don’t go overboard in pushing them. Like ”Come on. Just go out with me once. Please. Pretty please.” Or “You broke up with me and broke my heart. The least you can do is go out with me one time.”

Play hard to get. If you really want to win your ex back over again, then you have to play hard to get once you get back into her life. Sure, you’ve had coffee, maybe seen a movie, or have even gone back to texting each other or chatting on the phone every few days, but that doesn’t mean you should be completely available to her. You have to find the balance between making her think that you’re at her beck and call.

My main suggestion is to keep doing more of what you have been doing, that is, talking openly, letting go of any pressuring of each other, appreciating and enjoying the positive sides of your relationship, and taking on faith that if the relationship is meant to be, it will be.

First impressions are everything. You need to remember that. How you approach this first contact message is almost as important as the text messages later in this process. Why? Because, if you screw this part up you can kiss your chances of getting your boyfriend back goodbye. No pressure though.

So now, I had decided to actually study in my home country in Europe. Finish school there and what not. I had this plan before but I just hadn’t acted on it until now. She took this other guy to prom, so when she told me she’s seeing this other guy because “she would rather I knew”, I realized what I had lost and started pouring my heart out to her and sending her roses etc etc etc. She tells me it wouldn’t be fair for her to not give the other guy a chance. She said maybe if I come back to Europe, we can get close again and see how it goes but for now, she will be seeing this other guy. After more begging and pleading, she finally just told me she’s going to be seeing him and that I took too long to make a decision. I told her she broke my heart and I realize I don’t have a shot anymore. That was the last thing I said to her.

Prior to making your move to discover how to get back with your ex-girlfriend, you have to ask yourself the following questions first. Depending on your answers, you will know exactly if getting back together is really the right thing to do for the both of you:

My EX broke up with me 5 months ago and it was because I was like whatevers with her at the start we lasted 7 months together and the only reason I acted that way was because I didn’t know if we were gonna last, like I said we [otp_overlay]