Hopefully, if everything goes as planned, your ex will not be able to resist you and will start to warm up to you again. After that it should only be a matter of time until they are back in your life.
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Why did you break up? – Couples break up for a number of reasons, including affair, emotional or physical abuse, falling out of love, or the inability to feel the same attraction that they once felt before. Note that there are actually no wrong or correct reasons for a breakup. What couples need to do when they are on the rocks is to weigh what works for them separately.
Note that most issues in a relationship do not just come up unexpectedly. They actually build up overtime. There is a chance that the problem is not just one-sided. Both of you played a role in the break-up. In fact, you will realize that there were actually signs that showed up before that the break-up was imminent.
Prove that you’re faithful. If you and your ex broke up because you were unfaithful, you face the daunting task of convincing him that you will not cheat again. The exact way that you confront the issue should depend on why you cheated in the first place, but regardless of the reason, it’s important to be open and honest with him.
The main point it NOT to avoid the pain with keeping distance, but to use the struggle and pain as a propellent to grow, to become stronger. Become a person you can be proud of being. Don’t be afraid of the pain, there are tribes in Africa that use pain rituals to become a man. Spartans had the agoge. Stoics and cynics used to endure heat, famine, and cold weather to build a strong character, and on this strength a better moral.
The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late. But trust me it’s not a good idea.
My ex dumped me a year ago. The breakup was pretty messy. Anyhow currently we have connected again and are hooking up I’d say about once a week and have sex. I’ve never lost my feelings for him and I’m the one who has initiated our hookups. But… What do I do next to get the relationship back? We text everyday leading up to when we meet then after we don’t till I initiate meeting again. Should I stop all together? I was the one who also said when we first started this that it was just a sexual relationship. No discussions of the past, no outside hanging out etc…
Sometimes after a breakup, you realize you still have feelings for your ex and want to be with them again. Asking your ex to get back together can be scary, but if you take your time and learn from the past, there’s a chance they’ll say yes.
This tactic is a little like flirting. The key to compliments are to work them in during your conversation over text. Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Here is a good example of a great compliment:
Being stoic does not means to learn tricks to avoid or reduce pain, I think. It means to develop the mental and moral strength to become something better, and what is pain if not an occasion to prove yourself to yourself? Pain, loneliness is the fire of a forge, and you are the sword to be made.
Need some help. Devastated. I was with my girlfriend for 18mths. Moved in together after 10mths. We went on a trip overseas and it was hell. two months later she ended it. She was upset she did it and said she misses me and we kept seeing each other for about a month. Then told me its not happening. She’s fallen outta love. Hurts like hell. She said she did try in that month but its gone for her and that she can’t talk for awhile and needs space. Then, stupidly, I was bored and missing her about 2wks later and sent her text saying that if i was better to her we’d be doing something together right now. She got back to me the day after and wasn’t happy at all. Asked for me to stop contacting her and that she will never love me again. Ouch! I really want her back. Not sure what to do from here. How do i get her back?
“Human experience has not yet devised anything,” Peter wrote on an early email, “that can shield us from the pain of a broken love, the pain of feeling thrown out of your own world and out into the cold. Same as being born: I huddled in a very cosy place that was my natural place to be, then all of a sudden I am ejected into a new and hostile place, one that’s not where I felt at home. And there is nothing the baby can do but scream and cry and feel terrible.”