she left me in 2011 and came back to me in 2012 afta i have callin her and not answering my calls for a year then she left again for a year 2013 around march and came back to me this year 2014…she started calling me on the 28 of february this year and i was shocked and confused about that.but at my point of view she was heartly brokened with the partner she was dating after me.we get back together but she told me we dont have to make love and i agreed but i forced her.now she is telling me she want a breakup coz im cheating but she doesnt have any proof.i loved her and i still love her.so i dont know what to do.i need your help guys..i think she is gona leave again coz im trusting her..but i said i dont want a breakup…thanks for your help guys.

Well, perhaps it may have gone too far in his mind, but it doesn’t matter because people get impulsive and exaggerated thoughts when they are emotionally affected by situations. These things can be changed, but may require a bit of time for him to let go of it. Just give him some time and space for now, but you could continue to talk to him casually as a friend and at least let him see that you’re there for him.

About a week and half from now she’s leaving for a 3 month Masters program in New York. I’ve asked her to get dinner one last time, just her and I, before she leaves. Am I wrong to let her know that while I won’t ask her to make a decision now and I wont be sitting around waiting, I’d love to give us another shot when she’s back if neither of us have found something new by then? I want to let her know that while I respected her decision to take some time herself and never begged, I also never stopped wanting her.

I am not going to lie to you. I put a lot of work into this page (1 full month to be exact.) I read relationship books, I took notes on speeches that dating experts gave, I bought online products, I listened my friends tell me stories about what they did to reunite with their exes and tested out some of the things I learned.

How you ended your relationship also plays a crucial factor on whether or not there is still a hope to bring back the love you once shared. Did the relationship end because one party broke the other’s heart? Or did it just happen naturally? If the whole process happened amicably and naturally, then you still have a higher chance of getting her back.

1st – It will help you to avoid looking needy and insecure. As you already know, neediness and insecurity are biggest attraction killers so it is better to avoid displaying these two unattractive qualities.

Remember, your ex will not make you happy, only you can make yourself happy. And the only way you can do it is by understanding yourself, loving yourself, appreciating what you have, understanding your purpose in life and pursuing it.

Français: oublier son ex petite amie, Italiano: Dimenticare l’Ex Ragazza, Español: olvidar a tu ex novia, Deutsch: Die Ex Freundin vergessen, Português: Esquecer sua Ex Namorada, Русский: забыть свою бывшую девушку, 中文: 忘记你的前女友, Bahasa Indonesia: Melupakan Mantan Pacar (artikel untuk pria), Čeština: Jak zapomenout na svoji expřítelkyni, Nederlands: Je ex vriendin vergeten, हिन्दी: भुलाएँ अपनी एक्स गर्लफ़्रेंड को, ไทย: ลืมแฟนเก่า (สำหรับผู้ชาย), العربية: نسيان حبيبتك السابقة, Tiếng Việt: Quên đi bạn gái cũ

What would you suggest for me now? I bombarded him with texts and calls yesterday and then this morning I text him apologising for what he said, and I also said I wouldn’t contact him again. It’s been two and a half months since he contacted me. I’m so depressed. How do I go about this now? I think he might have found someone new.

Hi, my ex girlfriend broke up with me two months ago, we were together for 10 months. I tried to beg her back, then we agree on NC. In the first 2 weeks it was impossible to accomplish couse I had to move out, and my stuff was all over the place, it took me time and she kept texting about my stuff. The last time I was there, we talked, and I managed to invite her to lunch, as a date. I’m pretty busy in general, that’s why the date was a week after that. We texted each other every day on Facebook, always she started the discussion. The lunch went well, but after she texted me she had second thoughts about it, like ‘it’s not a good idea and she thought about canceling… But it was so good and she likes me in the moment but we still have problems’. We continued texting. Then I went abroad one of my friends, originally this trip was planned as a romantic one with my ex. She kept on texting me. When I got home, I asked her out again, she was happy to say yes, then a few hours later and out of nowhere, she changed and said she is too bad and I need to run away from her, couse she is gonna hurt me… I tried to refuse it. No success. So goodbye and start NC. 10 days after she texted she wanted to talk to me. She seemed desperate (and I didn’t know your rules about NC) so we agreed to meet and talk on a monday. The next day was my birthday, no texts, nothing. One night before the meeting she canceled it and she wrote this is the last time I have to tolerate her indecisiveness, she thinks about me with love and hope we will be able to talk to each other again, couse she misses our long talks and me in general, but just bye. I didn’t respond. I just don’t get it. She’s like a roller-coaster. Should I hope for anything after that? It seems like the last goodbye.

Long term goals are a great way to keep your focused on the more important things in life. Missing your ex girlfriend can feel like the whole thing that matters in this moment, but that’s not true. If you focus too much on missing what you had, you won’t ever be able to look forward to what you could have.

Remember that one thing that you can no longer stomach may actually be very tolerable for another. That said, you have to reflect on your past relationship and ask yourself what’s the exact reason for your breakup. Dig deeper. Once you figured out the reason, it is time to assess whether it is something that you can live with, tolerate, or forgive.

Español: reconquistar a una mujer, Português: Recuperar Sua Mulher, Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Donna, Deutsch: Gewinne deine Frau zurück, Français: reconquérir votre femme, 中文: 赢回前女友的心, Русский: вернуть свою девушку, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Wanita Anda Kembali, Nederlands: Je vriendin terugwinnen

I really recommend reading Models by Mark Manson. Your girlfriend was right about at least one thing: You liked her way more than she liked you. She was ready to separate, meanwhile you’re super aware of if she has logged into Facebook. Mark identifies the kiss of death early in relationships: being needy. I recommend the whole book for more detail, but it sounds like this relationship was doomed because of neediness. Check it out, I think you’ll find it really illuminating

Men with no purpose look highly unattractive. You made a mistake by making your girlfriend as the only purpose of your life. Girls don’t want their boyfriends to have a sole purpose in their life just to please her. If you have make this mistake now it is time to set new goal for your life and try to achieve it.

paragraph addressing half of the elephant in the room, that when he said he is overwhelmed, that respond overwhelmed me, and I didnt say those words but reacted in that way. I understand I am very scared of abandonment. I had a gut feeling of you backing out, hence I was walking on egg shells and did not even bring up the topic. Probably if I had, we would have had a different situation. That I have anxiety and I acted out of a place of fear when you said not to come without any explanation and to not call you too. Something to show my vulnerable side and how this time apart, I have thought about it. And it applies to us and that day’s conversation. Without putting nay blame on him. (I do think that knowing I have anxiety he should have handled it better, what he did is the nmber one trigger for me, but I do not want to go there, and I am going to chalk it off to us still exploring each other.)

Lots of places I see say try to heal yourself, get over the depression but although sometimes I’m on medication, they will never fully get rid of my impulsivity, my low moods. I do have therapy to help with the associated issues like low self esteem but in the end this is my biology. So what can I do? Does this mean I’m doomed to never finding anyone? My issues will take some time to resolve, the way things are going probably when I’m 50, I’m 32 now. I will rather not be alone for the next 18 years personally. And I get fatigue so I can’t always be as active as I want.

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Getting too much approval from girlfriend is also very unattractive. Unattractive men seek validation and approval from their girlfriend and this is why they fail to keep attraction in their relationship for long time.

It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact and given my ex space, a task someone difficult because we work together. I never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me and will barely reply to text messages. Typically she’ll reply to the initial message, but getting a second reply doesn’t happen much. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?

My story seems to be a bit different then most. So without trying to bore you completely I’ll give you the basics. I met my ex in high school and boy did I hate her she was that annoying chick in class I couldn’t stand. After high school I began hanging out with her with my best friend, now the big twist begins here. I had left my house with my boy and her there and one thing led to another and they ended up hanging out afterward and having a kid. I wasn’t mad at either of them bc I never expressed my feelings for her before hand. There son was 3 months old when they broke up, I lost contact with my buddy but regained connection with her and as friends went to eat with her. Ever since that day we were inseparable, she was my best friend my lover and in my eyes soon to be wife. Her son was 1 1/2 when we found out we were having a little girl. She did not want to have another child which forced a argument of her wanting a abortion. After consideration she decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and proceeded with the pregnancy. We had our baby girl dec 24,2011 best day of my life. Now she will be 2 In a month me and the ex are broken up and she is out partying like she is 16 everyday I get my daughter. She has lied to me and put me threw a lot but I can’t help but want her back, I mean guys she is the mother of my child. She wants nothing to do with me, took me for child support and custody. Am I crazy for thinking it’s not over and trying every opportunity I get to get her back and persuade her. What could I do to win her over, I love her with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with her, my daughter and her son who I’ve taken in as my own. Help, advice?! Bare with me it’s a open wound.

The fact is that the pain that you are feeling right now is ACTUALLY real. Scientific studies have proven this that breakup pain is an automatic triggered reaction in the same part of our human brain that gets activated during actually physical pain. Also, with that said, the pain that you are going through right now is also extremely common.

Most relationship ended because of one of these qualities. If your relationship is ended it means attraction fades away from your relationship because you display one of these qualities. Sometime attraction disappears because of constant arguments that occur when girlfriend starts getting lack of appreciation in the relationship. Every girl wants to get appreciation from her boyfriend.

So take your time with this course. You have a full 90 days to go through it. Why? Because I’m that confident the information within delivers on my promise to get your girlfriend back. And I’m inviting you to take me up on that promise without any risk whatsoever.

It’s all just a defense mechanism: pretend the one girl you know liked you is a goddess instead of risking rejection by getting back out into the dating pool.  It protects your ego, it coincides with rom-com plotlines, and it is total bullshit.

Prior to that though, ask yourself why she didn’t show respect, it probably has got to do with the way you acted around her. If you were too needy in the previous relationship with her, you invited her to walk all over you. If that was the case, you will have to work on your masculine qualities and remove the needy behavior and instead present her with a more confident version of yourself. You should have done this work on you during the NC period.

Sorry because I am a bit tiring. I have doubts about “no contact rule” in my case. In my understanding your theory is based on the fact that there were happy moments in the relationship and after a while people tend to remember the good memories, the overall picture and forget about the problems (eg. clinginess, small debates), the small negative details. My relationship with this man though was about great sex and awful debates right afterwards (since I was fighting against my own feelings), therefore the overall picture is not good. There were no happy moments in this relationship with the exception of sex. Basically, I can say only the sexual attraction kept it alive at all for 3 months. And I am aware that sexual attraction can fade away fast so what remains is the overall negative picture. Am I not right?

You are making a huge decision right now. So you better make sure that it is the right one. You have 30 days to do it, so don’t rush into it. Take your time. Relax and do things that make you feel better. When you start being happy in life without your ex, you will realize whether or not getting your ex back is the right decision. And that is extremely important before you move on to the next step, which is contacting your ex.

G. writes: About two years ago (I’m 21 now), I got into a serious long-term relationship with a girl in college that ended quite bitterly. Since then, neither of us has spoken a word to the other. My close friends and parents tell me that this was just a phase in my life and that it is okay to move on to create new memories. However, even two years later, without wanting to get back with her, I sometimes feel guilt and melancholy thinking back at our relationship.

but its been 2 months and i miss her alot but i just dont know how to get her back i still love herand i still wanna be with her but i just dont know what to do or say yo make her wanna be with me again

Thank you for your reply. I understood that one of the purpose of NC to introduce changes to my own life and approach. But I am not addicted to this guy, only attracted to him and wanna try if it works with him. I can live without him. I have my life, my goal in life without him. I am aware that both of us should work on it and use a different approach. Definetely I should starte. What I am saying: it is not a more year old relationship but only 3 month long and basically was about sex. Ergo, if I wait say 1 month my chance to get him back is decreasing in my view.