And then I got back with my ex. I know, it actually still pains me to say it out loud. Not because he isn’t the best dude on earth (because he totally is), but because I went back on my word. My point is, it’s so easy to claim revisiting a former relationship is a bad idea. It’s so easy to dish out advice to pals, but when it happens to you, you realise actually it’s not always such a ridiculous idea.
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Before you try to win your ex back, work on fixing any bad habits you have or mistakes you made that caused you to break up in the first place. Then, ask your ex to hang out as friends and take the opportunity to show them how you’ve changed for the better. Laugh, smile, and be positive when you’re around them. Wait until you’ve developed a friendship again before having a serious conversation with your ex about getting back together. For more help getting back with your ex, like what to do if they’re in a new relationship, read on!
I had an unusual childhood. My dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world’s leading relationship expert. I was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did I learn a lot. So when I first started dating, I assumed I had it all figured out.
Keep in mind, whenever a relationship ends, there are anger feelings on both sides. It is necessary to acknowledge your anger feeling because if anger goes unacknowledged and doesn’t come out of the surface, then it creates abusive behavior at wrong places.
I keep checking his instagram & he started following all of the girks that like him or think he’s cute & now I saw he followed his ex he was with before me. He said that what they had isn’t even a thing & he never want anything to do with her because she hurt him bad, she cheated on him while they were together. I don’t know if he’s doing this to get me jealous or what ? I just wanna message him & ask for him back but that’ll be the wrong thing to do right ? I know he has too much pride to chase after me so idk what’s gonna happen …
At worse they will be surprised that you are able to control your emotions and not reach out; they will start to wonder what you’ve been up too! Either way the odds are that they will be a lot more receptive and even perhaps happy to hear from you after the radio silence, compared to how they felt before your no-contact period was enacted.
Honesty and good communication is the key to a healthy relationship. If you learn how to be honest and communicate effectively in your relationship, then every time you both have an argument, it will just bring you both closer. Yes, you will get closer every time you have a disagreement.
It’s time to set some bad memories on fire. Literally. Sometimes hanging on to those “Do you remember the time you did such and such?” moments are the things that lead to relationship sabotage. Instead of carrying grudges around forever, torch them. “Write them all down on a piece of paper. Then set a timer for a certain amount of time. It might be 10 minutes. It might be 30. It might be the whole day. The point is: Give yourself as long as you need to really wallow in the misery of these grudges. Savor them. Get angry about them. Mutter about them. Do whatever you need to do to get sick and tired of them,” says Bowman. “Once you are done, say, ‘I will not think about these anymore. These grudges have lost their usefulness.'” Then take a match and burn them.
So, on tge 30th of nov my ex declared she hasn‘t been missing me as much when i‘m not around like she did a year ago when we were dating, and said she needed alone time to find out what that means. Until then we were ülanning to move to a different city, no warning there.
When you can let go of your relationship and accept the fact that at the moment you’re completely single, it will get rid of the root of any insecurity and empower you to bring positivity back into your life.
I worked on this EBP program earlier this year (still haven’t done all my worksheets haha), and I sent an incomplete Elephant text (I realized that I only completed the first step of the Elephant text). I wrote a comment earlier this year too on the “texting” EBP page… Kevin told me to show her that I accepted the breakup. This was hard because I stopped seeing her due to my new job. I also wasn’t ready yet.
1. Take personal time to do some soul-searching, preferably in front of a bowl of lettuce. Reflect on what went wrong in the relationship, how it wasn’t your fault at all and how fixing it is somebody else’s problem. Then, make a salad.
As they talked Peter often felt tempted to say, “and you do it too!” He successfully refrained. He had learned that his job was to look at what he could change, not to criticize or advise his wife. That change proved to be one of the most potent signs to his wife that Peter was in fact behaving far more appealingly.
Like I said in the above two scenarios. Insecurity, jealousy, control and manipulation are present in almost every unhealthy relationship. If your ex girlfriend didn’t feel attracted to you by the end of your relationship; there’s a good chance you exhibited these traits in the relationship.
Let her know that you understand what it is like to walk in her shoes as one who feels hurt, ie: “Honey, you must feel conned. Before we were married I communicated to you that I would cherish you for the rest of our lives. But since the first week, I know I sent you the message that you weren’t important to me. Whenever you wanted to do __________ together, I would never do it. Whenever you wanted to go with me to ___________ I wouldn’t go. By choosing my own comfort and convenience over yours I have left you feeling that you weren’t important to me, and I was a fool to send you that message. You deserve more than that.”
Some of you probably noticed that I no longer answer emails and post them on this site. This is because I simply don’t have the time anymore with work and family obligations. Not to worry though as I’ve provided plenty of good places to turn if you need more help. Each one is trusted and risk-free. I never recommend anything unless it has a money back guarantee. There is too much going on your life now to be worrying about who to trust. You can also grab my mini-guide for more tips.
Anyways, here I am about 2 years later and I have met many girls, went on dates, and finished my schooling. She’s also dated someone for a bit and they broke up about a month ago. Me and my ex talk lightly. [I’m going to start the 30 days from scratch anyways ;)] I started missing her before I even knew they were broken up. A lot of things seem true about me wanting to get back together with her for love, missing her, and honestly thinking she was the best. But its also been 2 years and I have realized so much about what I did wrong, and what I truly had. The motif is obviously to get back together with her but I know patience is massive in my situation.We have both grown so much, she’s in school now doing extremely well on her own. I have mature more and realized a lot of stuff, through suffering and beating on myself for the mistakes I made. But hey we are only human and learn one way or another. She is pretty busy so texting does not always work with her. I was thinking simply asking her to workout soon, its low key and something we both like.
Accept the break up and move on. If none of the steps above have worked for you, and/or if you have assessed the situation and decided it is not healthy or wise to continue trying to get your ex back, be sure that you take time for yourself emotionally to recover from your broken heart.
There’s something magical about putting thoughts on paper the old school way; with a pen and paper. I often suggest to the people that I speak too during private consultations to write a letter to their ex to communicate key messages in a different way, to prove their change, to surprise their ex and to re-establish contact in an unorthodox manner.
My bf and I were together for a year and a half.. What basically broke us up was I got injured and was unable to walk so I had to have surgery and I was also put on hormones which made me feel insanely depressed.. Since I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t go see friends or family and for 3 months while I was recovering, the only person I really saw was him, so when he’d leave to go to work I would cry because I know that I would be alone for 10 hours.. things just got worse from there.. since I couldn’t move, I just stayed on bed-rest, so he’d want to go do stuff, but I couldn’t and he would stay, but I knew it bothered him because before I got hurt we would always go places and do things. Then I started to get really insecure, because who wants to sit at home with their partner when all they do is cry and lay in bed? So I started telling him he was going to end up cheating on me (because there was this girl at work that really wanted him, even though she already had a bf).. Eventually all we did was fight and I’d cry, but finally I started to get better and was able to walk around more, but the damage was done. He ended up cheating on me and then he left me for the girl he cheated on me with. They moved in after only a week of being together, but he would call me the second that he would drop her off at work so that we could hang out (I never made a move on him while he was with her, because I feel that it’s wrong, even though she did it to me) They are still together after 8 months, but he seems miserable.. I sent him a picture of our dog we had and a sign saying “happy birthday” and she freaked out on him. She is insanely jealous and he isn’t allowed to talk to other girls, even girls at work. He is their manager and the girls will talk to him and he will tell me how his girlfriend will freak out, even though he didn’t do anything wrong.. she once gauged out pictures of a girl where they work just because she was his friend. We were both there for each other and we became each others best friends, I can tell that our friendship is stronger now then how it was when we were together. I finally told him I love him still and that I want to be with him and he told me that he won’t date me.. he said there were too many problems in our relationship and he thought we didn’t work well together, but I am his best friend and he cares so much about me and doesn’t want to lose me because I am the only one he can count on and the only one who listens to him. I feel like he is just looking at the end of our relationship when things were bad. I think our relationship wasn’t given a fair shot.. we started dating a few months after my best friend and mother died and then I became injured and sick, now I am better and have matured and understand how I was insecure and didn’t handle my emotions well and I am off of the hormones, so I feel like myself again. How do I get him to remember the amazing times? If I’m his best friend and he’s attracted to me, why wouldn’t he date me? I hate my situation so much because all I want is for him to be happy, but it’s so hard watching him be with this other girl because she treats him bad.. so do I just stop talking to him and lose my best friend?
It takes a lot of strength to know when it’s time to walk away from a relationship. That it’s run its course. That it probably doesn’t deserve another chance. ‘If you’ve gone out with somebody for 3 months and in that time there’s been two or three separations, you’re not talking about a viable relationship. That’s an emotional rollercoaster,’ says Susan. But only you know when it’s time to call it a day, and everyone’s relationship is different. Getting back with an ex comes with some risks, but there could be a load of benefits too so don’t be quick to write something off because you ‘shouldn’t look back’. Sometimes it’s good to look back. Sometimes things are worth looking back at. Just don’t do it so much that you end up with whiplash.
BUT a huge mistake i made in the past: a few days after the break up, and it made impossible to implement my plan. I wrote our common friends twice, when i panicked and felt terrible. How fool i was i believed that they keep their promise to not tell him i wrote them. And they met up yesterday.. and they told everything ! EXCEPT the last message we had, in which i told them i am feeling better…..
When it comes to relationship advice and psychology of breakup then you should be careful in receiving advice because there are many clueless people who don’t know anything about relationship. After breakup your friend or family member surely gave you advice something like,
my boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. although it was a break up, he also said he just wants time and space to think about things and he would consider getting back together if major things changed, but he’s not sure if that’s possible. we had a really great relationship full of respect and trust, we just started to argue more and more and i think we need some time apart for him to realize the problems can be fixed and are not worth throwing out an amazing relationship over. we’re both in college and on winter break, so i’m planning on reaching out when we both get back. i’m in the middle of no contact, but should i text him on christmas or new years? does this sound like a relationship that can be fixed?