Before making a move to make your ex-girlfriend a part of your life once again, it is important to gain a full understanding about who controlled the actual break-up. You also need to determine the exact reason why it took place. If you were the one who decided to break up, leaving your ex-girlfriend totally against it, then rekindling the relationship may be much easier.

Sometimes, you can get angry with the situation you are in. For example, you don’t have enough money to do cool things with your ex OR your ex’s parents making the life hell for you OR you are angry because you have to work long hours and don’t get enough time to see your ex.

If after your month long hiatus you see your ex on the big date (more on this later) and they get even a *whiff* of neediness they will know that they hold all the cards and they will “pull” away from you again. Believe it or not, people don’t like to “hold all the cards,” they like a little bit of a challenge.

Think of it this way, if you do this set of messages correctly then you have a good chance of getting your ex to feel the same feelings you are feeling and they will start to remember how great your times together were.

I have sustained a period of 30 days and now looking at trying again. I have identified several areas where i have needed to change and continued to develop. Some of these no doubt contributed to the split.

The reason I worry is explained perfectly in Maria’s piece. “I just can’t get comfortable with the idea of being 100% friends with someone who’s been inside of me,” she writes. If she couldn’t be comfortable being friends with someone whom she has slept with, it stands to reason that a new or future girlfriend of mine would struggle with the fact that I still live with a person I used to sleep with (and date, and also love).

Hi! I broked up with my boyfriend one month and a week ago, I broked up with him because he became distant with no reason, he was being very dry with me and I always asked him if I was being a good girlfriend and he always said that I was perfect. We didn’t have any problems during our relationship of 3 months. So, I broked up with him through a text “I don’t want to be with you anymore” and he replied that it was a good relationship but we were having many issues and that life made it complicated, so it was better to break up. I don’t know if I want him back because he became distant out of the blue, he didn’t call me or text me as much as before and he said “he was busy with his job” but I knew he had free time. I just want to know why he didn’t want to be with me if things were going well between us, I don’t know what my mistake was. I haven’t talked to him since we broked up, I deleted him from social media that day because I didn’t want him to talk to me. What did I do wrong in the relationship? Should I text him or should I let it go? Thank you, merry Christmas!!

When it comes to relationship advice and psychology of breakup then you should be careful in receiving advice because there are many clueless people who don’t know anything about relationship. After breakup your friend or family member surely gave you advice something like,

So what do you do when you wrote her a letter and left it one her doorstep, and she emailed you that same afternoon threatening with calling the police if you ever showed up anywhere near her property again, and then asks you what part of I never want to see or hear from you again dont you get! I really want this girl back. Its been 9 months and every goddam day still hurts!!

When you lose a person that you love most in your life, you feel angry at the universe to make it happen. You wish so much that it never happened but now you have to realize that it has actually happened.

So it’s been about 4 months since me and my x broke up. We broke up because she got jealous about other women who were giving me attention, and i lied about one of these girls at a party and i just got too comfortable and didn’t show interest. Well then after we broke up i made out with one of the girls and i told her about it and it devestated her. I told her the kiss meant nothing and I was thinking about her when it happened. We’ve hung out like 7 times since the break up and things got pretty affectionate 4 out of the 7 times. It’s just been a rough past summer for me in general with my grandpa passing away and adjusting to all this change. I do love the girl and I’m attempting to get her back by going to her school which is an hour away and serenading her wih a guitar right on campus haha. We’ve broken up before about 2 years ago and I did the same thing just outside of her house. What do you think of this? She has me blocked on facebook and snapchat, yet we still keep in touch through text and phone calls and shes friends with my mom on facebook still haha. And I still remain very close with her family

The main point it NOT to avoid the pain with keeping distance, but to use the struggle and pain as a propellent to grow, to become stronger. Become a person you can be proud of being. Don’t be afraid of the pain, there are tribes in Africa that use pain rituals to become a man. Spartans had the agoge. Stoics and cynics used to endure heat, famine, and cold weather to build a strong character, and on this strength a better moral.

He does not seem emotionally capable of dealing with serious issues and would rather avoid it altogether, hence why he leaves you in a state of limbo because he himself doesn’t want to deal with it. Sometimes in this case, it would be better for you to make the choice and stick with it because he may never do it on your behalf.

However, you have to understand just like pulling too much can take far away similarly pushing too much can also take her away. Since you want to win back your ex that is reason you have to keep balance between interest and disinterest.

Now she insists that she really missed it when we were “best friends” and remains in contact. She texts me constantly and wants to stay in touch, although shes not as warm anymore. I became really cold recently and just started giving short replies because she was acting the same way towards me. I don’t call her, she calls me. I dont text unless she texts me.

Correct bad habits. Now is the time to scrutinize your behaviors that led to the breakup and to try to self-improve. For example, if you feel that you and your ex broke up because you are too jealous or argumentative, try being more conscious of these behaviors and stopping them in their tracks.[10]

My ex girlfriend and I broke up 3 months ago, for a few weeks we used to avoid each other, sometimes I couldn’t even look at her face or talk to her properly, but even during that time we would get intimate. We live together, and we share the same room (now she’s changing rooms). We are now on a 3 month vacation from college so we’ll not see each other that often… last time we were together (last week) we slept together and we got intimate, just like during the last week we were in college (three weeks ago) and we used to get intimate and sleep together some other days after the breakup. Now we text each other we talk about random things, we don’t talk about getting back, she doesn’t want that and she doesn’t want me to talk about it. She is depressed and has been for like 5 months and she feels she’s not right for me. When we are together, most of the time it doesn’t even feel like we’re not dating anymore. A mutual friend told me that she told her that I am the love of life but she can’t be with me it makes me feel worse, I want her back and I’m willing to wait, but it scares me because we don’t live at the same town and she sees her ex boyfriend every day, she says he is very important to her but they are just friends but still she’s with him every day and I can’t be with her. Still we are going to see each other next week. For what I know she does love me, but not being with her is killing me and I don’t know what to do to get her back.

The main objective behind it is to keep yourself busy by doing things you enjoy. This is complementary to no contact. In no contact, you’re initially pretending to be too busy to continue talking to your ex. With this step, you actually become too busy. . You’re going to start improving yourself, and become as strong as an individual as you can. Start lifting weights, start reading, pursue your hobbies with fervor.  Look around your area and you will going to find many things you can do every day. You can also involve yourself in volunteer work or you can invest your time in improving your skills. Instead of sitting alone in the dark, start improving yourself every day.

There are several ways to make your ex girlfriend a little bit jealous without the risk of going overboard and having things backfire, but they’re a bit too in-depth for me to discuss here. If you’re interesting in using these kind of advanced psychological techniques, I recommend you watch this free video by relationship expert Brad Browning. In it, he’ll reveal a few sneaky tricks that will help create the right amount of jealousy.