It would depend on the context of how the relationship had ended and the experiences you went through together. Bear in mind that a relationship with your best friend is very different from actually being friends with that person, and if the relationship was meaningful enough, there’s a likelihood that his new girlfriend may be a rebound. He just may not realize it yet, or has been subconsciously suppressing his doubts so far. If he still feels that he can’t face you in specific occasions, there is a possibility he isn’t over you, and that makes the new relationship seem even more like a rebound. However, just take note that many factors would come into play, and you could refer to them in this article.
I’m sure he was much serious about me to building a long-term relationship with me, but I’m very confused why he lied about his past marriage. There must be a reason behind, and I hope it’s not because he is a romance liar. The puzzle is lingering in my head that I can hardly move on.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
I always take my bf back because of pity and feeling sorry for him. I’m not happy and I want to run as far as I can from him. I am not into him anymore. He disgusts me and anytime I want to go he follows me like a dog…he is too needy and I cannot stand him. I want to be with my ex so bad, he is all I need. Distance has separated us but I am back and back to fight for him but it’s hard to get him to leave his girlfriend he lives with. He says he wants to and he is not in love with her but he just cannot pack up and leave. Why can’t he?
Jealously is the ultimate form of insecurity. Do you hate when your girlfriend spend time with her male friends? Or do you hate when your girlfriend laugh on her co-worker’s joke? If you let these come over you then you are showing that your girlfriend is having higher value than you – simply showing jealously.
a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other’s accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship. Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.
He broke up with me because we had been arguing for about 3 weeks on and off and he is not willing to forgive me for that, and he didn’t like the fact that I was being harsh with him. I recognize that I was, but there have been periods of time when he’s been cold towards me too and I forgave him and moved on.
Not only we share the situation, we also share the name. My girlfriend and I agreed to break up on basically the same grounds, same EVERYTHING, so reading about your relationship is painful. Anyway, since you broke up about two weeks earlier than me, how did the getting back work? Did you quit? Still trying? Already together? Any tips? HELP ME!
Start over. Click the reset button. Whatever he did wrong – get over it. Forgive yourself if you’ve made mistakes and forgive him, you are both guilty in one way or another, and reminding each other about it won’t help. You can’t get back together if you are enemies, so stay close to each other by forgiving. Let the past go. Every day is a new opportunity for you to have a better life with a great guy, maybe it’s him – and now that you’re starting over, you’ve learned from your mistakes, but you can continue on only when you manage to forgive.
“I thought I could deal with my situation by myself or just by talking to a few friends, but it did not work out… I also thought that coaching sessions were kind of phony and that coaches would not keep getting back to me after I paid them so I waited 8 months before reaching out! But Adrian answered my email right away and then kept answering me for months!!”
This conversation took place a week ago and I have seen him twice since then just to hang out really at our house and have been in contact by text every day. He today told me that he is going to be moving closer to his work and moving in with a colleague which means an hour’s drive away from me.
I write here today, after 25 days of not having seeing her. I dont know when she herself decided to call it quits, hence cant say how long it has been since the breakup. Yes it is living nightmare that she didnt even want to talk, leave alone meeting me for clearing out the things. The story began about 10 months ago wherein we connected via socia media platform and within a month we involved the family and decided to be along together. We had been knowing a little bit since bachelors, as we were together for 4 years…no friends but more of collegues. Both had feelings at that time…and hence 2 years later we connected on social media. Spent 8 months in long distance, with her studying in another country and me as well. We engaged in our home country..and things were going well kinda. We had our share of fights and misunderstandings, but I was less expressive of my discontent or anger as I didnt want to get her hurt. She was able to notice this. Let me tell you that this connect was, is and will remain soulful as I dont want to have anyone else than her. Now due to a major fight, the families got invilved and seperated us. I tried to reach her out through the friends and in the process ended up opening the things…our fights and the things I felt where I was wrong, and where she was…it was an attempt to reach out to her and make someone exolain her that I am going to be there for her always. This now, she misunderstands as my means of defaming her, breaking her trust and being immature to such an extent that she broke the relationship herself with less than a month of engagement…I know that its wrong of me to have taken other routes, but I myself was forbidden to reach directly…by her and my family…which she thinks now as my means of excuse. 2 days ago when after lot of discussions with her father, he let me have a word with her. Till now I believed that it would be some sort of family intervention that led to breakup…but it was her completely. With every word on the phone, she butchered my heart…telling me to move on, as she has already and what not…I did everything…begged her for fogiveness…begged to be in touch…but in vain……and in the end even as she said a formal good night…I told her..that I love her… no means of literature would ever convince me to move past her and dive into vast ocean…and have go with another girl. I have loved her and soulfully I have dedicated myself to her…a life will be short to seperate us…in good times, we said that to each other. I want to know, how much time should I take before approaching her again? What would bury the burns of this despair between us? Would she ever realise that breaking up over such a thing is just destructive? I have, I do and I will love her for and beyond this life…
Avoid using the word “but.” “I am sorry, but…” means “I am not sorry.” Also, do not say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if you were offended.” This makes it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology.
A Christian’s new nature, if the heart is not too far hardened, will respond to words of Truth, ie: spoken by a friend, a seminar tape, a sermon, a radio preacher, a counselor, etc. (These words are not often received when spoken by the offender.)
You are an adult. You did not come to the conclusion of ending a significant relationship with someone you care about out of nowhere. And if she is the one who ended it, neither did she. There were bigger issues for you two to finally cut the cord. Those issues do not disappear after a breakup. Don’t sacrifice the things you want from a partner for someone who is just going to disappoint you again.
***Recently started dating someone I’ve known for a while. I always knew she had a thing for me and I was also attracted to her so I thought I would give it a shot. This time around, she’s the one that really likes me and I’m just going with the flow and taking it step by step (compared to my previous relationship). I’m also learning a ton from this relationship and realizing many things from my previous one with my ex. I still catch bad habits that I use to to do with my ex, but more importantly I have much more empathy for my ex. The bad thing about this relationship is, the more imtimate I get with my current girlfriend, the more I realize I’m still in love with my ex…
Well, the good news is that UncommonHelp.me has become incredibly popular, which means I’m able to help thousands of people a day with these articles. The bad news is that I’m totally swamped with email and comments, and so I have had to take the hard decision not to answer comments here any more.
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If you behaved in 3+ of the above ways during the latter stages of your relationship with your ex, then the reason you lost her is because her attraction for you faded out. She will likely have told you some other bullsh*t reason for the break up, but the fact that you answered yes to the questions above, coupled with the amount of sense that the explanations I gave make, shows that dying attraction is unmistakably the cause.
The truth is that my ill-advised backslide lasted a solid four more months before the same old problems, and worse ones, finally ended things. It started to dawn on me that he wasn’t in it for the kind of commitment I was looking for, and it was becoming painfully clear that this relationship was never going to be The One.
Hey 2 months ago I said my ex broke up with me because of long distance and I was moving back to her hometown because I wanted to move there for a job offer and you told me keep doing no contact until you arrive there. I just moved here 2 days ago and she keeps liking my posts on social media even the one where I took a pic of the back yard of my house and said a paragraph about that j moved here and I’m blessed. She saw that post but hasn’t messeged me or anything shes not dating anyone. What should I do I texted her 2 months ago but she seemed uninterested but she still sees my stuff??
Anyway i had a tough time with family issues whilst away on holiday for the weekend and my ex text me that he’ll be there for me and promised me all this wonderful things for our future. but after the crisis i had with my family i also mentioned that i had enough of people belittling me incl his mate. To my shock he said he couldnt be with a girl who doesnt get on with his mates and started saying we are very different with our view esp on this topic. he packed his stuff that eve and by morning he was gone.. 2 days later he came to collect rest of his stuff..
Lots of places I see say try to heal yourself, get over the depression but although sometimes I’m on medication, they will never fully get rid of my impulsivity, my low moods. I do have therapy to help with the associated issues like low self esteem but in the end this is my biology. So what can I do? Does this mean I’m doomed to never finding anyone? My issues will take some time to resolve, the way things are going probably when I’m 50, I’m 32 now. I will rather not be alone for the next 18 years personally. And I get fatigue so I can’t always be as active as I want.
When a girl stops feeling attracted to her boyfriend (or husband), the relationship goes stale for her, and if she has any dating market value left (i.e. if she’s still hot enough to draw in a decent new guy) then she will dump the boyfriend and sooner or later she’ll go get a new guy (one who she DOES feel attraction for).
Jason runs a construction company, but he enjoys sharing his experiences with the opposite sex by writing about relationships in his spare time. He spends his weekends kite surfing and running on the beach.
My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of days ago because he decided that we were not suitable for each other. It’s true our personalities are really very different. We do not have any common interests or hobbies (I am adventurous and like to travel but he rathers stay home most of the time) and we also differ a lot in our values and beliefs. He is also overly possessive and many of my friends think so too, and I happen to be a freedom-loving girl. Hence, we quarreled constantly, esp in the last 6 months. We were together for one year. I blame myself for hurting him a lot over the past months because I really started to get really sick of his possessiveness (I was not to stay out past midnight, I was not to hang out with my other male friends) and began to blatantly ignore his ‘rules’. So one day he decided he cannot take this anymore and broke up with me.
She got a feeling that I cheated or betrayed her. But I haven’t done anything wrong or insincere to her except hiding or telling lie. But that is most important to her but its normal to me. But I’m ready to change. My company is going thru a financial struggle and I need this relationship back to set right everything. I need her back at any cost for the rest of my life. We are meeting every day at the office and having normal and official communications directly and over the phone also. But she shows no intimacy to any of these communications and she told that she is not even thinking about me when I’m away. Need your sincere help and advice to her back.
Who knew a former flame just might be the perfect person for you? It’s impossible to predict what surprises are around the corner, so roll with it as best you can, and every time your partner makes your heart melt yet again, thank the universe that you took the risk of giving them another go.
He has never been that active on facebook.. he deleted ALL the pics of us (100 photos at least), he even went to his facebook wall and deleted everything what was connected to me.. he liked photos of girls he knows i was jeleous about, he posted a lot of blog posts, wanted to show me, show everyone, that he’s fine, and he is the most released person in the world. Nobody got this. Because nobody knew about his depression, only me and his mother.. He talks to noone about his feelings. I know he’s now having a psycho therapy – it was my suggestion during February..
The EBP requirements serve as a guideline but are not set in stone since every relationship situation is different. Currently, if you want a relationship where how you feel is accepted, and a partner who isn’t naive, you’ll have better luck in walking away and finding someone who fits that. If you still want to continue a relationship with her, then you’re going to have to accept that being jealous and telling her off on being naive (even if you’re right) are things that would only push her away. Instead of becoming angry (again, even if you have the right to be), I suggest talking to her in a more understanding way as that might make her more receptive to what you’re saying as opposed to telling her off and she becomes defensive and justifies the other person’s actions.
Question, what if he’s also reading the same article as I am reading right now and plan to do the NC thing? Isn’t it weird because we are both waiting for who will do the 1st move. Imagine, what I’m reading right now is exactly what he’s reading as well. Who should go first? [otp_overlay]