Finally, it’s important to minimize the amount of time with your ex. In particular, try to avoid is doing attachment-related things together, which is anything where emotions run particularly high or low. You’ve had a crappy day and need to vent? Don’t call your ex. Something amazing just happened and you can’t wait to share it with someone? Don’t call your ex! Try to find other people who can fill that space in your life instead, and it will really help you to move on emotionally.
I have been divorced for 2 years now, after a 23 year marriage. I cannot get over him, I still see him lots and hang out as friends, but everything you said is true. I wish I was still married. I am a strong person, I came alone to this country from Europe and was doing great. Now, I am not so great, I like being married and it felt comfortable. Now I think I am worthless – nobody wants me and I am really afraid of a future alone. I have one 19 year old daughter who is everything to me. I feel that all my life I have lost things that were dear to me. I left my family when I was young, my husband left me and eventually my daughter will move out and start her own life which is normal. I just feel I am nobody without a man on my side, I totally miss it, I don’t know. There is my heart and then my head, two different feelings, I know all the stuff I should do but my heart is not always where it should be I still miss him tremendously. I have a hard time moving on and I know I am not free of him yet. I just miss my little family – it was comfortable and good (well not always) but now in my mid 50ties, I feel that there is nothing good coming. And yes, I work full time and also have a little part time job to kill my time as I am lonely. I do reach out to friends, but many of them are women and I miss being with guys.
One day, while running errands, I fell in love with this weird, huge, asymmetrical bright orange hennaed lampshade from a store on Second Avenue. I was already carrying two big bags of groceries, and, after purchasing the lampshade, realized I had no place to put it, so I put it on my head. Who cared, I figured, it was only a few short blocks to my house, what was the big deal?
Sometimes relationships come to a natural end where both people expect it to happen, and to a certain extent are almost relieved when it does happen. For other women sometimes the end of a relationship comes as a complete shock to them and they simply weren’t prepared to become single so quickly and with so little warning. Regardless of the reason for why you find yourself single right now the problem is the same – you need to find a way for you to get over your ex boyfriend and put your life back together.
Don’t make your first ‘FIXIT’ date a therapy session by opening up all wounds of the previous breakup. Your ex wants to move on and forget about the past. But don’t move too fast. Your ex will not feel comfortable if you ask him/her for a movie date now.
I’m having trouble with #2, because I’m not sure the strength of our love was a fantasy. I think my breakup was more a consequence of what you say in tip #4 – the love was there, it was strong and vibrant, but timing was off (because I hadn’t learned to put the past to bed, nor deal with anxiety, which was stoked by events). So, how am I to believe there’s still romance in my future, if I worry anyone else will feel like settling?
PSYCHOLOGY: This one is more complicated, and this is where you can put your magic to work.. Psychology is actually pretty simple if you know what you are doing. The only problem is, people act in the wrong way to get their results, and mess up their chances in the process. However, if you KNOW what you are doing, you can play your ex’s feelings like an instrument.
This is the key to determining whether or not you really have changed. You can stay close to each other without seriously committing yet, which allows you to see whether your issues and resentments have already healed. Establishing a strong friendship first will help you identify whether it is worthwhile to give your romance another shot.
You often heard men complaining ‘they don’t want to get nagged’ – The problem is not in nagging instead men feel their women start showing unsatisfaction of who he is and what he has to offer and that what eats away the relationship. This doesn’t mean you can’t express your true feelings. Make sure to balance your true feeling with love and admiration to keep fire in your relationship.
If you’re a homebody, try being more outdoorsy. The sun and beautiful weather and landscape are really good to restore your mood. It’s so much better than languishing in your sorrow at home watching endless TV and binging on calorie-dense snacks.
Stop seeing them. Stop texting them. Delete all of their physical presence from your life. Then, make new opposite gender friends. Keep them as friends, no other intentions. Slowly(around 3-4) you will become best friends with one or two, you may still keep missing them, but within a span of 5 months, you will see change happening.
Its a great hub. To forget the Ex Husband n his memories. Thank You so much. I will remove all his memories from me as well as his things which are with me. After Eid I will remove all his things. But memories how to forget that. . . .
Hey I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years n things went down hill it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve had contact with I really miss him n wants him back what should I do should I continue the NC rule for 2 more weeks n what should I text him after that
Aug2008 we began our relationship. Like all it had its ups, downs, twists and its turns. I moved in with her into her family home to make it cheaper on both of us and help save for a place of our own. 2009 I lost my job to an injury. I hated myself and became heavily depressed. We still had a lot of good times but I still became more depressed. Living in my girlfriends family home, her working, me not being able to provide. Looking for work was immediate and then eventually became less and less with depression. I grew moody and I wasn’t in my shell of a body much after so long. 2011 my mind had twisted arguments and I felt like everybody was against me. I left her. I left the person that stood by me through what I was going through. Though in instances we were both to blame for agreements and so on. I had the audacity to leave… May2015.. I still love her.
What’s most important is that you get your ex’s thoughts on what happened and what needs to change with your relationship in the future, if you two both want to give it another try. It’s vital for you two to communicate and figure out how you’re going to improve yourselves and have a better relationship.
Look, I know it’s tempting to reach out. Maybe you need more closure or maybe you saw something funny that reminded you of him, but don’t. Let it be. Let him go through his process and you go through yours. If there is a chance for it to work and there is unfinished business, he’ll realize it as well. But only if he has the space to do so.
I was in a 3 year long relationship. We took a break 4 months ago because of his drinking.”surely not a breakup”. But then i hav done the worst thing : i had a guy friend to whom i felt an affection and happened to mistake it as love. But he was loving me, so when he proposed me during the break i accepted it thinking that my affection is love. Bt soon within a month i realised that it was nothing more than a crush and also i loved my ex/bf (since we were just on a break) so much who is infact my first love. My ex/bf came to know about all these things and now he barely replies to my messages. Please help me with this problem. Now i know i really loved him. He is my first love & guess it will be the last one too.
Then and there, don’t analyze, argue or talk about negative stuff. Turn the page. Keep walking in a new direction. It’s your ex-boyfriend that will become your new girlfriend, it’s you – his ex-girlfriend, that will become a new girlfriend. Give each other a clean slate. When you leave the place, don’t kiss. Give him a deep gaze, let your eyes, not your mouth say: I love you.
I never wanted to create this site but when I was suffering from the most difficult phase of my life (when my husband left me), Michael Fiore helped me in regaining my confidence and getting my ex boyfriend back.