A lot many people including myself as I have felt, we feel that their love for that special someone was SPECIAL and that, by extension, the pain they feel by losing the person they love, is special as well. But, frankly it’s not true. Infact, I can bet on this that someone out their in this present world is experiencing the same pain right at this moment apart from you, and that there is someone out their who is going through a breakup pain which is much, MUCH worse than yours RIGHT NOW.

I again want to mention it is important to act happy, cheerful and calm when talking with your ex-girlfriend. Let the conversation unfold and allow her to lead the conversation. If she is bringing the relationship into the conversation, then it is fine to enter in the line of discussion but make sure you are not the one who is bringing it up.

The first step will be to collect those photos of yours that completely describe your new personality. It may be better if you have taken it outside the country or some place your girlfriend ever liked to visit like a beach etc. Now the second point is to make sure that it is taken with another woman of some class. One pretty lady or even more may do the heat work.

You see, getting your ex-girlfriend back is clearly a matter of knowing what she wants… and giving it to her. Now here’s where things gets messy: most men don’t have a clue what that is. What’s worse is that most women don’t either… and the one’s that do — simply won’t tell you. They’d rather eat dirt than hand over the combination to their hearts.

But I cannot stress the bottom line enough: The No Contact period is the most important stage of this process. If you don’t do the serious work there, you won’t see a lot of progress with your ex. And even if for some reason you do nothing in No Contact and you DO get your ex back, I’m 95% sure it won’t last. Sorry.

It sounds like she really likes you and you like her too, but you were just a bit awkward around her, a bit unsure as to whether you should make a move or not. Go all in next time you see her and she will be blown away, I promise you.

Getting too much approval from girlfriend is also very unattractive. Unattractive men seek validation and approval from their girlfriend and this is why they fail to keep attraction in their relationship for long time.

I was always an odd child, prone to health issues and anxiety. I had a nervous tic of looking at my shoes when I walked, leading me to careen into door frames and people, as if facing the world with a direct gaze was too much to bear. By then, my mother noticed that my natural oddities had given way to something darker, and my suicide attempts and musings landed me in a mental hospital just as the holiday season was in full bloom. I still can’t see Christmas lights or smell a traditional Thanksgiving dinner without my heart seizing in my chest. I was in the hospital for over a month, and by the time I left, I was not the girl I was when I entered. My mental traumas in the years following that first hospitalization grew deeper. Even though my diagnosis shifted over the years — depression, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type II — one truth remained: I have tied my identity to my madness so fiercely, I don’t know who I am when I’m not ill.

3. You must become an attractive, happy person during this time. You need to take a step back and reevaluate your life. You should make a lot of positive changes in your life. When you meet your ex after the no contact period, you want them to be attracted to you. And the best way to do it is to start enjoying life and becoming an overall happy person. Don’t take this point lightly. This could be the difference between getting your ex back or losing them forever. (If you’d like to read more about why you should do this, read this article.)

This is the only effective way of approaching the situation. By attracting your ex back into your life you can avoid the cheesy talks, the desperate measures, and the immoral manipulations (that are very likely to backfire anyway as we already discussed).

For instance, in the future when he was traveling for business and staying alone in hotels he would plan ahead what to do in the evenings: phone his wife, work on his computer, read, watch his favorite TV shows.  He would NOT go to the hotel bar. If he met people in the lobby, if the acquaintances were women he would speak with them briefly and then say goodbye.  He would go out to dinner only with men friends.  If women joined them, he would not engage in one-on-one conversations with them. Alcohol, private time with women plus loneliness and a disconnected relationship with his wife had been a dangerous combination for him. 

Wow that was a lot huh? I mean, we haven’t even started contacting our exes yet have we? Well, right now is when we begin that step. Are you excited? Alright, there is a lot of debate about this step. Every expert (myself included) seems to have a different opinion on the method you should use for contacting an ex. Some recommend writing a get your boyfriend back letter, some say you should give them a call and some even say you should text. So, what is the best method?

After some time apart, during which you have worked on the ME-component of a former-WE and also helped the ME, become a better version of your former self, reach out to her. Do this in a non-committal way and just extend a hand of friendship. Rebuild your camaraderie, keep it light, and show her a NEW you. Take it slooooow but build memories, take a tiny step toward a healthy relationship every day and forge a deep, meaningful connection.