Look your best. You were always attractive to him. Use that attraction! If you remember that he liked your hair a certain way, or that he found certain colors or outfits particularly attractive to him, then now’s the time to put that knowledge to good use. And in a social setting, he’s bound to fixate on how other guys are taking notice of you… if you appear to effortlessly attract guys, no ex-boyfriend on earth can help but whimper a bit inside.
Every time you start obsessing about your ex, stop, ground yourself in the present by feeling your feet on the ground, listen to your breathing, be aware of the sights, smells and sounds around you. Start off doing this for 30 seconds and gradually build up the amount of time you can do this. You will start feeling more in control of your life, when you can take control of your thoughts.
I promise you one thing, this isn’t going to be easy. There are going to be times where you will be tempted to contact your ex during your year long no contact. In fact, I have had a lot of women contact me and tell me that going through something as short as a 30 day no contact period is like going through withdrawal (and they are only doing it for 30 days, you have to do it for a year.)
You are hilarious!! I am laughing so loudly whilst reading your articles….I’m scaring my dogs! I came across your website while I was googling and trying to understand why my now ex-fiance ‘assbag’ of 4 years breaks up with me (2nd time in 3 months), demands no contact then calls me, bawls during the conversation then tells me “he says he needs space” AGAIN…. he did this 3 months ago also…so now I’m thinking he’s emotionally inept and I’m left feel totally confused. But I am finding your articles are helping me alot….so thank you!!!!
Some people may have valid, sincere reasons for wanting to get back with their ex while others are simply going through the motions and feeling the normal emotions that can be experienced with such a loss.
Everything was going very fine, and suddenly he messaged me that he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore because he doesn’t feel for me the same way he did. Everyday he was like, he is not going to come back and all. When i came from my home to my college, he is also in the same college, we met again, but still he was like doesn’t have feelings. We spent time as he was clearing the facts that he doesn’t feel for me but still care for me. We shared some intimate moments and he is like that was only one moment, that’s it. How come feelings got vanished suddenly. We never fought and I supported him a lot in every aspect. i have tried so many things to save this relation.
He was my bestfriend for a while and then we found out that we actually love each other so we dated for a few months and then he told me that we should go back to being bestfriends to protect what we have because we can never be together or get married due to our religious beliefs.. when we started doing that he was already talking to another girl who follows the same religion as him and i got jealous and got into many fights with him about that .. that lasted for about 2 months and then he got sick from my craziness and told me that we should be just regular friends not even bestfriends and we shouldn’t text everyday or call each other unless there is something important.. that was about a month ago .. i begged him to become bestfriends again i talked alot and tried everything i could do but it was no use .. yesterday i talked to him about it again and he told me that being just friends is his final decision ans he won’t change his mind and i should act that way and just let it flow .. i hate the fact that he’s in control and that it was his decision to be just regular friends. Moreover, he and that other girl became really close I’m not sure if they are dating or not but i know that they talk and hang out alot .. we go to the same college so i see them together alot .. whenever he sees me he acts normal as regular friends .. what should i do to go back into being bestfriends again ? What should i do to win him back after he said that he already moved on? I’m not sure if the other girl is a rebound or everything between them is real also.
You may be wondering why learning about the NCR (No Contact Rule) is so important. After all, this page is about a very unique situation, trying to get an ex boyfriend back who has a new girlfriend. Well, the importance of NOT CONTACTING YOUR EX is crucial in this particular situation. The fact that your old boyfriend has a new girlfriend can be heart crushing and you are going to want to contact your ex very badly (and you are definitely not going to have many good things to say.)
Hello. This is my first time posting. I would really appreciate some advice because I don’t know what to do. I feel almost like a fool over this. I am a 30 year old female. My ex is a 29 year old male. We dated for 18 months. Two weeks after the breakup, I ran into him at a bar. He was with two 22 year old girls from his gym. I tried to talk to him and he was very cold to me, wouldn’t give me the time of day, and then yelled at me when I touched his shoulder. We have been in no contact for 6 months. He unfriended me on facebook in October and blocked me on facebook at the end of January. I found out at the end of December that he reported me to the police because he thought I keyed his car. This occurred sometime in October (which makes sense why he and his friends and family all suddenly dropped me from facebook during that time period). I was really hurt that he thought I would do such a thing, and more so because he knows how hard I’ve worked at my job and he thought I would jeopardize it like that or even do something so low to him (on a side note” the report was made in October but I didn’t learn of this until late December when the detective called me to tell me that there was zero evidence tying me to it – there was surveillance in his complex but obviously was not me). Because of that, I have stayed away from him completely because I don’t want to have more trouble Or give him an excuse if he’s still of the mindset to do something to me. I feel like enough time has passed that he would have cooled off. I wasn’t even the one to initiate the breakup. He was. I don’t know why he’s so angry with me. I’m hoping he’s not angry any more because I do miss him and I would like another chance to make it work. I feel like if we’re going to get back together, then it needs to be his move. Please help.
When you guys meet up for dinner/coffee, whatever, don’t talk about the past , why you broke up and stuff like that. Ask him what’s new in his life, how he’s doing, maybe remind him of something nice that only you know about him that you can both laugh about it. Keep the conversation light. Super-emotional, could-a, would-a, should-a stuff will just bring you back to where you were.
The reason most girls don’t do this is because they’re scared of being “mean” or “immature,” but when did having healthy boundaries ever become synonymous with being mean or immature? What’s “mean” about speaking through your dignified actions that you don’t have time for anyone that’s unappreciative of yours?
Whatever she said, it will almost certainly have NOT given you any clue as to what exactly went wrong. This is typical of women, but I’m a fellow guy who’s on your side, and I can give it to you straight, so here goes…
Stay away from alcohol and other stimulants. In the movies, a breakup is usually followed by the movie star reaching for a swig of whiskey. Alcohol and other stimulants will not make your breakup any easier, so do not rely on them to get over your ex!
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Listen, sure, finding some new dude may be okay for you as a bandade, but it won’t help you get your ex-boyfriend back. You should make him jealous in a smarter way. Like, he should see that there are guys mingling around you, but don’t let him see that you’ve actually found someone. Don’t post stupid, drunken-party pictures on Facebook of you making out with some random dude.
If you’ve just broken up with your lover, don’t waste time suffering terribly. Get yourself together to hop on the self-growth journey that will make you a magnet to great lovers/relationship, as well as your ex.
That was 19days ago. We had a little argument and I stopped talking immediately. I have been going out and posting lots of fun pics and videos for my ex to see. He hasnt contacted me in 19days and neither have I.
You are making a huge decision right now. So you better make sure that it is the right one. You have 30 days to do it, so don’t rush into it. Take your time. Relax and do things that make you feel better. When you start being happy in life without your ex, you will realize whether or not getting your ex back is the right decision. And that is extremely important before you move on to the next step, which is contacting your ex.
Over the years in your relationship, you would have met quite a few guys that like you. You may have noticed those guys flirting with you, or they may have asked you out when your boyfriend wasn’t around. Every girl’s bound to have gotten some attention from a few other guys during a relationship. [Read: How to meet a guy and make him like you]
Clean your room and throw away all the things that you associate with your ex like photo albums, gifts he gave you, old rotten flowers he gave you that you’re still keeping as souvenirs, letters and birthday cards. If you have posters or pictures drawn on the wall with him, repaint your walls and redecorate your bedroom.
I was with my ex on and off for 6 years. In the first year of our relationship he cheated and we ended our relationship. After a few months he contacted me and we tried to work things out. Things were great for just over a year but ultimately I wasn’t able to let go of his previous infidelity and we’d had a big argument and he left. We split up for nearly 9 months (we had no contact in this time and he’d been seeing someone else) until I contacted him to see how he was and we got back together again. This time we became engaged and he was living with me and my son (from a previous relationship). We were together this time for a year and a half and then had a big fight. Seemed significant at the time but ridiculous now. He did his disappearing act again and about a month later he contacted me begging to come home. This time I wouldn’t let him come back . I wanted him to make changes to his behaviour and I wasn’t ready to repeat our historical pattern. We’ve been apart for a year and a half but have remained in contact with each other. Two months ago he told me he was moving to a new town for a new job and how he needed a change. He said me and my son played heavy on his mind before making his decision but that he felt I had given up on him so he decided to go. This made me start to question my resistance on letting him back in my life and I started to think about him constantly. I recently discovered through social media that he’s seeing someone new and I’m heartbroken all over again because he’s moving on without me. For the most part we always had a great relationship. We grew stronger after getting over the initial cheating and we were both generally happy together. My son and I both miss him terribly and I’d like to see if he feels we have something worth saving but don’t know if I should try contacting him or let him go in case he’s happier in his new relationship. Feeling totally confused.