Once he sees and feels this energy from you it can often lead him to rethink why the two of you are not together. You should never have to try to convince him that you should be together. He needs to be able to view you as his prize to win.
Hi Ryan, dude where are you? I really need your help. I’m really trying to not a mistake here man. It’s been maybe half a month since the NC.. it’s been working like a charm.. couples days ago my ex sees me at work and days I looked good and like I’ve changed..also that I was happy. She text me that same day saying how much she missed my presence in her life, how she missed her best friend. I didn’t respond and then she text me a photo saying remember the good times.. also said she was going thru her phone deleting pics of us and didn’t know which to keep. I then replied I miss you too. We started chatting back in forth and remembering all the good things. She texted me all night. Then the next day says she loves me and misses.. I tell her too. We talked a lot about how much we loved one another. Don’t know if that was a right move ..yesterday she sends me a message at work that was a song. “Baby while were young , let’s do what we want, I want you, you’re mine and I don’t care who’s know it, I’m down for you” just a few things she sent me! I’m confused because after work I waited to talk with her but she ran out quickly and I’m sure when went to meet up with someone else. She didn’t go home last night. She also didn’t text me anymore.. so confusing what’s going on.. not sure what to do or expect! Please help dude! I really want her back and I can’t tell if I messed up the NC rule. She definitely has been seeing someone else lately. Please write me back soon.. she wants to me up tonight to go eat. Don’t know if I should go
My boyfriend broke with me 2 weeks ago after a years. Said he had issues he needed to work on and focus on his kids and work. One week after not texting he finally did asking if we could talk. He told me he loved me and hated he was hurting me. I told him I thought our relationship was worth it and would give him time. Since then he has been out of town for work and has text and face timed me non stop. He actuallycalled me last night to ask if I had talked to any guys since he broke up with me. I want him back , what do I do
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The weird part was when I had one guy leave me as soon as I had another he got jealous. He was so pissed he set his carpet on fire. I usally do the break ups but when he broke up I went with another guy I wasn’t realy all that interested in. I basiclly went with him because I was bored. Needless to say it was interesting when his brother told me the guy was so pissed he set the carpet on fire, I told him the truth and we got back together. I’m not sure how long it lasted but he and I stayed friends after I broke up this time. The last I heard he had issues with his life. Oh well boys will be boys I wonder what Eric thinks of that.
I left my husband because his family were using be and he began to do the same. I was treated like the maid. He waited 4 months before he decided he wanted to devote. After I left he never confronted me personally once, even the divorce was given through someone else. He has been an awful person and very cowardly. I don’t understand whether he divorced me or his family.
Perhaps the lack of time in spending with her, and also a new colleague of her appearing, took a liking in her, did things better than me to her(lots of things i did for her during the earlier parts of our relationship) and has a stronger financial backing than me.
“They may not have noticed the signs that it was starting to fail,” she says. “So you refuse to start over because you’ve invested so much time into this relationship that you just can’t get over them.”
Make a game plan for how to deal with unmet expectations. For example, if you broke up with your ex because he or she spent too much time with friends, talk openly about how much time is reasonable and how you will negotiate with one another if you need more time with friends.
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I’m just so confused because there was absolutely no sign that anything had changed. If anything i thought we seemed happier than ever. He text me a few times after the relationship ended 3 weeks ago but since our last conversation there has been zero contact for about 13 days now. And i don’t know how to deal with what’s happened so suddenly or to even try make sense of it. How can we have such a huge history and such a loving relationship then him just seem so cold and be able to cut me off so easy? No body that knows him or us as a couple can believe it. Any advice or thoughts would be hugely appreciated and how should i go about trying to reconcile with him. Thank you xxx
You don’t want to ask him to go out with him, or meet him at some night club. That way he can interpret signals wrong. He will think you just want to hook up. Also, you two could have few drinks, one thing can lead to another, and tomorrow you may end up regretting your decision!
Oh, no ? I had a really absurd fight with the best BF I’ve ever had (which is not hard to do, I have dated some serious jerks) and I managed to get him back for a whole week and a half before we got snippy and he suddenly was breaking it off with me. The relationship was long-distance and he wants to be friends, but I just spent a week and a half more making an a** of myself. Is there any redemption? I don’t even know how to do this at a distance (I was going to move there, for the record) and after I was so weak. Argh D:
Do not stay indoors for long. Go out. Enjoy the outdoors. Socialize with your friends. This will give you less time to think about your ex. Bask in the sun or go some place else with your family members. This will definitely give you a better view of the world you once lived in…the world without your stupid ex…Don’t forget that you once lived without him/her so it won’t definitely ruin your life now that you are back to where you once were… your life isn’t over now that they’re gone.
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
Hi I have dated my bf for 3 years he broke up with me this Saturday. And I’m heart broken. I love him so much, he broke up with me because there was drama going on between me and him and another guy there a guy that likes me and my bf think I liked him but I don’t and I keep on telling him that but he doesn’t believe me. But then the guy is trying to break us up so then he can have me but i keep on telling him I don’t like u in that way I love my boy and I never want to leave him. So now I’m really sad. Now he just got a new gf for now but Is there a way I can get him back in my life I want him back
Consistent gifts will have made her think you were trying too hard to win her approval. It sets a frame where you are demonstrating that it is YOU trying to win HER over, and thus she detects that she is superior to you.
I had to end relationship up with my girlfriend (5 years living together) due the fact she found another man to entertain her and she was not willing to make the decision: me or other guy. I tried this no contact rule and she keeps calling and texting me once a day (or so). If I did not answer her contacts, she is getting very upset and sends me irritating messages (like blaming me that I can’t be trusted in serious situations). If I answer her because I assume that there was a really serious reason that she would call me, but there isn’t. If we talk about weather and general stuff, it is fine. If or conversation goes to us or our past, she gets upset and tries to end the call. Last conversation she hinted me that if I would not call her more occasionally, I would waste my opportunity. She even encouriged to call her any time.
Hi there, I would like to know if you think there is any hope. My bf of eight months broke up with me saying he wasn’t sure about the next step. Things had been pretty good up until then although we were going slow. I am the first girl he’s liked in five years and his history doesn’t seem very strong in relationships. He was engaged about twenty years ago (he’s 46 now) and he thinks that’s the one time he might’ve been in love. Before he went overseas he made an announcement that I was the total and complete package for him and I thought he was going to propose and instead he broke up with me a few days later saying he wasn’t ready for the next step. He confused me so much when he did that because he seemed totally devastated to do it and wouldn’t stop crying. Then he went overseas for six weeks to visit his dying father, then he came home and we had a few romantic nights. I lost it with him a few times because I couldn’t work out where his head was at and have said some nasty things to him. Nasty to the point where I’m surprised he still speaks to me. His father died a few weeks after he got home, he had to go away again and before he left we were in a good place friend-wise. He has two friends in the city we live in and I’m one of them. He had a pretty traumatic time overseas arranging the funeral etc and I only got one email in four weeks but I knew he had stuff to do so I didn’t worry. Anyway, he’s home now and we had one dinner and drinks date the other night which went well but at the end of it he told me he can’t ever see us back together. I cried of course and told him I couldn’t be friends with him because I want everything from him and friends would never be enough. I even told him I’d thought he was going to propose. He’s pretty upset that I don’t want to be friends and I asked him to pretty much pretend I don’t exist at work (we’re in different divisions so don’t need to speak for work and it’s a huge building). He’s pretty much used to me sending cute messages every couple of days so he knows he’s loved and cared for but I’ve started no contact on him and haven’t done anything at all. He’s seen me twice at work (and I promise I looked very hot!) and looked like he wanted to walk straight over to me but respected what I’d asked for and just smiled at me. When we last spoke he kept begging me to take some time and then maybe I’d be able to be friends with him so I know it’s not his get out of jail free card and he genuinely wants my friendship but I would never be able to do it. As a side note, he’s a hoarder, is pretty messed up emotionally (even more so after his father died) and even admitted that he hasn’t washed dishes or clothes in the two weeks since he’s been home so he clearly has depression. He sleeps all day on the weekends and doesn’t seem motivated to do anything. To my knowledge he isn’t being treated for any illnesses and has never come out and said there’s anything wrong with him, he has told me the other things and even that he has rats. I on the other hand am an A-list girl and can get anyone I want but now I can’t stop crying because HE’S all I want. My question is do you think it’s worth persevering, doing NC then reintroducing myself in a non friend way and seeing if he responds or is it a waste of time after he’s said he can’t see us back together?
When I slow down for longer than a minute and think about why we broke up (several times) it was because we weren’t right for each other. She is my ex for a reason… just like yours is your ex for a reason. If it was meant to be then it would have been easier and you both would have fought to keep it going. But now it’s in the past and all that’s left to do is to let go of it.
Your story is similar to mine, Simon. It’s been over 30 years since my girlfriend ended the relationship and I can’t get over her. I feel like such a loser. Mind you I’m a successful guy, good father, etc, but I have this terrible sense of loss. I’ve tried contacting her but she ignores me. I have no idea what to do.
One of the things that I learnt is that if you want to attract back someone you love, it’s not about them, it’s about you. If you want to attract love you need to vibrate love, start by loving yourself! So every morning when I rose and every evening when I went to sleep I would stand in front of the mirror and tell myself how much I love myself. It sounds silly but it’s not . It really makes you appreciate yourself. I also listed all the positive things about myself. I would also affirm that me and my boyfriend were back together.
Let’s be honest here, people say stupid and cruel things when they’re hurting out of spite (especially pubescent teenage boys). This sounds exactly like what your ex has been doing since he has essentially been ‘rejected’ by you. Just remember that no matter what he says doesn’t matter and he probably doesn’t mean it he’s just saying it out of hurt and anger, so don’t let his words bring you down just because he’s got a butt hurt (maybe try taking the fact that he’s using his energy to talk about you and that you are spicy & desirable enough to be a heartbreaker as a compliment). But perhaps reconsider or re-evaluate your relationships with those specific friends. You need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good & love and support you just as you would to them – these friends don’t sound like that right now. Flirting isn’t technically cheating (but that’s just my opinion) but your ex and your friends Overstepped that fine line, which is pretty disrespectful since both parties should be more considerate of how their actions make others feel E.G. betrayed and disrespected. The best thing to do with your friends is to clear the air once and for all (maybe even set boundaries for each of you for when either of you get into new relationships as not to repeat the past) and then move on from it all (no grudges that give girls the catty drama stereotype please ? instead take the high road because you’re too good for all that crap. For now give your ex a wide birth (aka no speaking) to allow both of you to heal so then you can both be civilised friends like you wanted originally. I know it’s a pain when you see your ex at school but try to avoid them at all costs – out of sight out of mind right? However if I’m totally honest though… screw your ex! He is a selfish immature tool who doesn’t respect other people’s lives or feelings. He clearly didn’t give you the respect you deserved by flirting with your friends, regardless of who started what or who said this that and the other. Let him grow up because right now he isn’t worth your time or breath. Give yourself a set time e.g 2 days to be as upset about the situation as you want, then afterwards push all thoughts of him & any backlash this has had on you or your friends to the back of your mind. Stay active, be happy and focus on the positive sides of things. You’ve got the motivation to better yourself and grow as a person so please take it because you being happy and not allowing anything he says or does from then on is the best revenge you could get on him (also makes him regret not having you around ? ) This will take time but you’ll come out of it 10 times better in the end plus he may end up crawling back to you to give you your much deserved apology for his total disregard of your feelings x
Once you get older, and have to financially and emotionally support another person, dealing with all the shit that life throws at you both, the bad as well as the good, sticking by each others’ sides without bailing for what might seem like greener pastures, that’s when you know its love.
Now, it’s time to actually get back in touch with your ex. It depends; maybe you didn’t see each other, or talk, for months, or even a year. Maybe you just broke up two weeks ago and everything is still very emotional and fresh. Either way, you can’t get back together with him over the phone, so you need to see each other.