Español: volver a ganar el cariño de tu novia después de un rompimiento, Português: Reconquistar sua Namorada Depois que Terminarem, Italiano: Riconquistare la Tua Ragazza Dopo Esservi Lasciati, Русский: вернуть бывшую девушку после расставания, Deutsch: Deine Freundin nach einer Trennung zurückgewinnen, Français: reconquérir votre petite amie après une rupture, Nederlands: Je vriendin terugkrijgen als het uit is, Bahasa Indonesia: Memenangkan Mantan Kekasih (Wanita) Anda Kembali Setelah Perpisahan, हिन्दी: ब्रेकअप के बाद फिर से अपनी गर्लफ्रेंड का दिल जीतें (Kaise, Girlfriend, Pyar, Kare), ไทย: พิชิตหัวใจแฟนเก่ากลับมา หลังจากการเลิกรา, العربية: استعادة صديقتك الحميمة بعد الانفصال عنها, Tiếng Việt: Chinh phục lại bạn gái sau khi chia tay
Long story short, I met this girl and fell head over heels in love. We have been together four years. We moved in together almost two years ago. I asked her to marry me about two months later. During this time, I have stayed in contact with my ex-wife in just a friendly way, however, I kept this a secret from my fiancé. Well, she found out about six months ago and flipped out and asked me to move out. I did and begged her to take me back. After a few days or so, she agreed to start seeing me again. Now, about ten days ago, she broke up with me again and said it weighing on her mind all the time and she has thought about it and wants to break up. The difference was with the other breakup, she still texted me and said things like, “you just lost the best thing you’ll ever have”, etc. This time, I can barely get her to text me or anything. First few days she was very quiet, then she started ignoring me, then for two days she texted me like old times, then on Friday I wake up and she texts me that I am contacting her to much and she is unhappy about it. I say I won’t contact her anymore and I stopped. Well, Saturday night, she starts texting me asking me what I am doing, etc. This went on through Sunday, now here is Monday and she has gotten quiet again. I feel like I am dying. I did something stupid and nothing is working. She said, “No flowers, no cards, stop it.” Help please.
Don’t be too strict when scheduling your life, or you might get upset when things disrupt your plans. Instead, have a basic idea of how long each part of your day should take, and a regular order to those parts. Anything more is counterproductive.
Get in her friends’ good graces. Maybe one of the reasons that your relationship ended is that her friends didn’t think you made an effort to get to know them, or that they thought you didn’t care enough about your ex to make the relationship worth it. So, if you want your girl to want you again, winning her friends over can help you pave the path to her heart. Here’s what you can do:
So far we have gone over what women find attractive and what you need to be doing during the no contact rule. In this section we are going to be talking about everything that goes on after the no contact period.
In this case it really is the classic line “it’s not you, it’s me.” This one can be a little harder to come back from but trust me it can be done if you are smart about how you approach the situation.
After breakup you have wonderful opportunity to re-discover the love, passion and emotions that you had once before getting into your previous relationship. Here I want to point out that you just can’t get your ex back by just searching about how to get your ex back or by reading hundreds of books on getting ex back. You have to make your efforts if you want to get into relationship once again with your ex.
Me and my ex are both 20 years old and were in a relationship for a year. about 3 weeks ago he brought up the thought of wanting to break up, which surprised me. during the next two weeks we were kinda on a break because he claimed as being confused about everything and didn’t know what to do. then we met up again and he said he still isn’t sure whether we should break up or be together. he said that he probably doesn’t love me as much as i love him and that staying together might be a bad idea. i said that it’s probably best if we break up if he isnt completely sure that he wants me. so it was a kind of a mutual decision but it felt like neither of us wanted to actually do it. it is also worth noting that we are both currently very stressed as we are busy with college. we haven’t been in any contact for a week now so i don’t know what he feels right now, but i still wish that he would realise what he did and that he would want me back. i plan on not contacting him for a few weeks but I am afraid that he will work on getting over me during this time. when we were dating we used to take the same train about once a week. should i normally go on that train and just act friendly if i see him or should i avoid seeing him for a while?
External situations can influence the relationship as much as two partners in it. It is important for you to acknowledge the situations that lead to the tension that causes a breakup. You should acknowledge the situations that you can’t change.
You need to learn what to say to your ex, when to say it, and even anticipate what she’s going to say in return. By being totally prepared for such contact, you can stay one step ahead whenever speaking to your ex girlfriend.
It isn’t always hard. Plenty of people get back together every day. But I’ll be writing this for the hard cases – the ones where she isn’t already knocking down your door for another try. So I’ll be giving you some stuff that’s tried and tested, that I’ve used myself multiple times, and that I’ve watched friends and students and mentees use effectively again and again.
Letter To My Ex is run by journalist and blogger Rachel Smith. Write a letter of your own, read thousands of letters from all over the world or check out the latest on the blog, where we touch on everything to do with break-ups, exes, single life, dating and relationships in general. If you’d like to get in touch, you can email us here, or via post to LTME HQ, PO Box 464 Newtown NSW 2042.
Give the girl some space. Though you may think that the best way to get your girl back is to fight for her tooth and nail, you’re actually better off giving her some breathing room than fighting for her affection right away. Unless it’s getting serious between her and another guy and you’re determined to break them up, you should play it cool until she has time to heal and to get a fresh perspective on the relationship.
We were about to get married, I was getting the stone shaped for the ring, then she broke up with me. I’m not sure what exactly the reason is, because there are many. I’m a jealous person, and I will not apologize for being one, her attitude has always pushed me to say unnecessary things, like another guy hugs/kisses her and so on, I’m pretty sure that most men are like me, I am not OK with my women sharing her body with another even if she thinks it’s innocent. Few days before we breakup, she went on a trip with her sister and friends and there was a guy with his gf Who used to live with her sister and her sister’s husband, that guy has crossed the line many times, I always warned her about him and she felt upset when I talked like that about him and always defended him and justified his actions. Eventually, he started going in the hot tub while she was their with his gf and he sat next to her!!!!. He joined them and started touching her while knows that she’s shy. I got mad at my fiancee and said unnecessary things. It made her so mad and she went in her room in the hotel and cried, then he followed her and saw her crying and hugged her. Then, she vented with him and he told her to breakup with me and she did!!!!!!!! This stranger we barely know did this to me!!! I’ve done so many stupid things to change her mind, even I was so close to hurt myself, you know. Anyways, we stopped talking for couple days then she contacted me while she was in the hot tub with her sister, him, his gf. But, all the sudden she freaked out because he touched her Va****… And yet, she justified for him and said it was an accident. I tried to act cool about it but I was burning inside. Now she doesn’t wanna get back at all and admits that she has some feelings, yet, still saying it’s impossible to get back together and it is over… I really don’t know what to do, we broke up more than 2 weeks ago and we both are miserable. I followed your EBP tips and started no contact but she kept contacting and I fail and talk to her. I’m writing this long comment after I did what I think is a huge mistake, I sent her “I love you” and a kiss emoji on whatsapp. I guess she saw it and pretending like she didn’t. I see nothing in this god damn planet but being together again and continue our beautiful dream. I can’t move on, can’t stop thinking, I failed to fulfill the EBP requirements, should I start over?? WHAT SHOULD I DO??!!!
Practical suggestion: when you feel sad, use powerful posture: stay like wonderwoman, or walk around like a king would: put all your weight on every step, have a good back-posture, look at the orizon and never the ground. That will really help you to be confident, to find the resources to your strength.
Whisper sweet nothings. An excellent way to flirt with your partner and send a clear signal that you’d like to be kissed is to whisper in their ear. Get very close to them and say something simple like, “Thanks for a wonderful date.” Your body close to them, your face by their face, and your breath on their ear are sure to ramp up the kissing desire!
Letting a woman get away with giving you sh*t like this is a recipe for one thing: lost respect – namely any respect she had for you. Why? Because she knows that a superior guy who is worthy of her respect would not tolerate such BS from her.
Again, showing her that she’s got you 100% by the balls like this will make her bored, which equates to reduced attraction that contributes to a break up. It’ll also indicate to her that you have no other viable dating options (because if you did have such options, why would you be so concerned with stressing your commitment?).
It’s normal, but not healthy. I definitely recommend you read the 6 Pillar of Self Esteem. It will help you learn how to draw pride from things you control, not from other people’s perceptions of you. Book is a livesaver for many people