I learned by my girlfriend’s friend that she fell in love with another guy. It’s the middle of summer so I can’t see her or talk to her since she doesn’t have her phone(even when she had it she didn’t answer). I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me. Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me?
To his relief, Peter began to experience his small apartment somewhat more positively. Now it felt like a cozy place to read and enjoy time alone. His loneliness, too, began to abate to the point that some evenings he even preferred staying home alone to running out to activites with others lest he drown in the pain of loss.
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, “Sure!” In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.
So if you are a Category C guy, here is how to get your ex-girlfriend back: you need to move to where she lives to solve the whole distance problem, and then do a few things right from there, which I’ll show you now…
If you have to work out some major issues, then make a long-term plan for how you’ll do it, whether it’s going to therapy, dropping an addiction, or giving yourself a major personality overhaul in some regard.
After some time apart, during which you have worked on the ME-component of a former-WE and also helped the ME, become a better version of your former self, reach out to her. Do this in a non-committal way and just extend a hand of friendship. Rebuild your camaraderie, keep it light, and show her a NEW you. Take it slooooow but build memories, take a tiny step toward a healthy relationship every day and forge a deep, meaningful connection.
Hence, why I don’t believe she’ll be coming back this time. My problem is, even though she displays signs of insecurity and can be down right nasty sometimes, deep down I love and miss her like she’s still a part of my life. I understand that I need to heal, for myself more than anything, and also, for the 1% chance that she may come back one day. I told her that I wouldn’t want to start where we left off, that relationship would be dead, and we would have to start again. The only way to do that is to get over the old relationship. I think it may take some time for her to do that, but I will not be waiting around for that to happen. She told me clearly that she was going to move on and I will be doing the same. I’ve actually started reading “you can heal your life” by Louise Hay which has been great for lifting my spirits, and loving myself again. Anyone feeling the effects of a relationship breakdown and the low self esteem should definitely invest in this book.
It may be possible there are numbers of things that your ex was doing that make you uncomfortable. For example, she may leave all her crap in the bathroom, and you get angry for not having any space for your stuff. Or she may yell at you for watching television and drinking a beer when you are in the mood of unwinding yourself.
hey my boyfriend and I had just broken up 2 weeks ago after being together for 2 years, we have both 17. I’m from china but I study in the uk and thats how I met him. since I have got back after the break up, its been really difficult because I have to go to lessons and sit next to him. I feel so tempted to get back together or try to convince him back into a relationship. we both still care and love each other, but we couldnt be together because we argued way too much. I wanted to give it 2-3 months before we get back together so we both have got over all the negative stuff. do you think its a good idea? and how should I act around him when I know there is something more than just friends between us.
As distressing as this recent hospitalization felt, it was also deeply necessary. I needed to face my illness and understand the ways it had been poisoning my life. I needed to learn, swiftly and undeniably, that I had to change not just how I treated my bipolar disorder, but examine my own relationship to it as a marker of my identity. I needed to be in the mental hospital in order to remember why I want to live in the first place. I’m not sure I would be here today if I hadn’t been hospitalized.
Now, even though my relationship was unique — the principles that saved it are not. They can be successfully applied to any situation because they’re based on a woman’s deep-rooted psychology. And I’ve gone on to prove this by helping more than 1,200 men who were unlucky enough to lose their girls.
This is the only effective way of approaching the situation. By attracting your ex back into your life you can avoid the cheesy talks, the desperate measures, and the immoral manipulations (that are very likely to backfire anyway as we already discussed).
It takes time for people to remove negative association after a breakup and start missing their ex. You have to give it to them. Besides, you have to prove to yourself that you can live without your ex for at least 30 days. And more importantly, you have to work on yourself and become a more confident and happy person. Unless you make a positive change in yourself, your ex will not be able to convince themselves to get back together with you.(Read more about the no contact rule here.)
Peter did a lot of studying of couple skills on his own via books and a website. At the same time, he had a therapist for guidance when he felt stuck and to help him with insights and deeper subconscious change. Finding a therapy professional to help you through this kind of crisis can be helpful, provided it is a therapist who helps you to see and rectify your relationship mistakes.
Most men make the mistake of “going for it all” right off the bat. That is a HUGE mistake. Remember, this entire process isn’t meant to be completed over the course of a day but rather the course of weeks or months.