If you look at your current situation then it is your ex girlfriend that care least and holding all cards. It is you that who keeps on searching how to get your ex girl back. If you want to control your relationship then you have to care least. Accept it and work on techniques (I will mention later) to reverse it.
If you can’t trust her right now, and there are major issues with the relationship, even chasing her and getting her back now would yield the same result as the previous time (in August). If you get back together with her, ideally you want the relationship to be better than before, not the same or what’s the point? THIS is why you should leave it alone for now and disregard whatever your instincts are telling you because it isn’t the way to win her back or sustain a lasting relationship. Work on your issues first and complete NC, then win her back with the changed you.
That’s the story of around 80% of the people who are desperate to get their ex back. It’s a huge mistake to text and call your ex all the time. In fact, it’s a huge mistake to call them even once. Your instincts tell you that if you stay in contact with your ex, they will not forget about you and hopefully come back.
It will help keep your mind off your ex (probably)- When you are busy you have less time to mope around or think about your ex. Instead of being completely miserable and depressed you are doing something constructive and dare I say having a bit of fun?
While it is quite challenging to figure out exactly how to get your ex-girlfriend back, note that it is actually possible. There are plenty of solutions out there that will help you win her back and let your love bloom once again. However, before making your move towards her, it is important to ask yourself first whether it is really what you want.
Hey Ryan! So we have continued texting after the last time I told you about (the phone call where he said he felt pressured and another time to catch up since I was going away) I text him saying I was going away and he said have a lovely trip and take some piccies(photos). He said he had a nice Xmas but is a little sunburnt. I text him a photo a few days later while I was away and he replied in 1 minute saying omg that looks amazing where are u? I didn’t reply and he then sent me a message on 1st of January saying happy new year I replied later that day saying hey! Just watched a house of cards, reminded me of you, made me smile! He replied within 2 minutes saying 🙂 too hungover to physically smile but that’s a nice thought! I had a bad experience where someone tried to break in my house so I called him early that morning then I realised I shouldn’t have done that so I sent a text saying just an update I’m safe now, at my friends place. He then replied saying glad you’re safe, you are better off calling the police if you feel unsafe. Then later that day I text him saying I’m still feeling a bit shaken by it would you be up for a phone call, he replied saying sorry I don’t feel like talking in the phone at the moment but don’t let this dampen your new year, there are plenty of jerk guys in the world, just be you and love it! I replied saying I understand and did u have a good day he replied yeah, did a lot of furniture moving and sent me a photo of what he had changed in his room. After that it was his birthday so I sent a message saying happy birthday! He replied within the hour saying 🙂 thanks lady! I didn’t reply and have started no contact as I feel when i am a bit distant he replies instantly kind of thing. I was thinking to continue no contact until around the 16th of January which would mean I haven’t texted him since the 4th of January. In my text on the 16th of January I was planning to say if he’s free to catch up for a quick cuppa sometime this week? I don’t want to do the wrong thing since I have asked before, but he is a big introvert and he rarely ever asks anyone to catch-up even friends/family. They usually ask him. My only fear is that he has said yes he’d like to catch up but wants to find his own feet first, he said this in December though. What would u recommend?
Well, it seems that he himself seems reluctant to meet you right now for whatever reasons. It could very well be that it’s too soon still, and you should give him more time and let him initiate on a meeting up instead. You’ve tried a couple of times and have been met with rejection so I don’t advice trying any further or you might push him away. Just take it casually, continue to focus on yourself first, and don’t let these little rejections get you down.
If you want to win your ex girl back in your life then you have to show her that you don’t need her. Same push/pull technique applies here. You have big opportunity to get back into your life once again by updating yourself.
my ex broke with me about three weeks ago i asked her why she said that i was over protective what i would like to know is what should i do if she finds another guy and does’nt want me back but i want her back more then anything.
Hi there! It’s been 30 days since i called. She tried to contact me in between i tried not talk but the condition was inevitable so had to. Should i contact her now or wait for more as she contacted !
You will also know that getting back together is the best move for you if you realize that both of you will be miserable without each other. You still love her and she still loves you. If you and your ex-girlfriend still have lingering feelings for each other and can’t seem to move on because of your love, then it would be best to give your relationship a second chance.
You can do it with eye contact or by answering or raising personal questions. That could be a huge help in building an intimate bond and developing attraction. If done correctly, such can help bring back the love that you two once felt. Look into her eyes deeply and start asking her personal and deep questions. Find out if such works in moving your casual friendship into an intimate relationship.
This depends on what situation you’re in dude. It took me exactly 4 weeks, but I have a friend who used the same techniques and it took him 7 months. It’s also dependent on what the girl is like, but there is never a set time frame.
Hi thanks for the great advice! Also it’s hard with the NC rule due to we work together. Just today I talked with her for the first time in 4 days only because I have to at work. Although I said hello and merry Christmas, it was still strictly only work related . She was very dry with me even though it was only work related.
You have to do extra work on understanding what approval seeking is. The moment you started seeking approval from your girlfriend in the relationship is the moment attraction starts disappearing from your relationship.
It’s likely that your ego took a hit because of this breakup. You probably wonder if you’ll ever find someone as amazing as your ex, or if you are even loveable. No Contact gives you a chance the get back to you. And by getting back to you, you’ll once again become the person your ex fell for in the first place.
Note: Brad has provided complete steps on how to follow this 60-days no contact technique. In this technique Brad will show you how you can take full advantage of these no contact days so when you meet with your ex she will see completely new person.
It’s been a little over three months since my ex and I broke up. I’ve completed no contact, given her space , never begged or been pushy did the right moves based on advice given on here and other places. She’s still will barely talk to me (we work together) and will barely reply to text messages. Back in September I purchased a Christmas gift for her and even though we broke up I still sent it to her on Friday. She replied thank you for the gift. You didn’t need to. Merry Christmas! Attached to the gift was a clean slate letter. She made no mention of it. I told her she was welcome for the gift. I asked her if she was going to be up for talking soon to clear the air. She never replied back. She isn’t seeing anyone, nor did we have a bad breakup. Since the breakup I have found out that she is mad at me about something I said but I don’t know what I said or who I said it to and she won’t tell me. We’ve had some positive interactions as of late at work, but she’s got a wall so high up now. Where do I go from here? Three months, no contact completed, clean slate letter given, space given, showed activity on social media sites as well and not much recoconcilation has occurred. What can I do? Or is it time to accept the fact that I’m not going to get her back?
I moved in with two people as roommates. And as you can guess I fell in love and started a relationship with one of them. I am west European..she Japanese and she is a few years older then I am and she is also the apartment owner. …ads up doesn’t it? Anyway for like 3,5 months we hat a intense relationship. everything started off fine…both being very happy. Occassionaly we hat a fight (both of us being very stubborn) but managed to make up with each other everytime. Up until she hat enough and told me: we are not fit for one another. and that is where she broke up leaving me devastated for a couple of days. The whole thing was more awkward because we still kept seeing each other as roommates. After a hard blank look in the mirror at myself I decided I did not like myself like this and that I would smash that mirror into pieces. So I started working on myself…being more tidy, clean, went running, hang out with friends more etc. She did started to respond positive to my new attitude, suddenly being overly sweet and nice (playing with my hair, gentle touches and telling me her favourite words were: stupid-*my name*) but also saying that we would just be roommates. For me who held myself together for 2 weeks that was just to much and boy did I cry once she left the house. Then I made a decision. I could not live together with her like this. It was pure torture. I mean: ‘no I don’t want a relationship with you anymore’ and ‘yes, I do want you to stay my roommate’ doesn’t add up now does it? So the next day I confronted her and told her I was going to move out. Then she starts to cry and telling me that she doesn’t want me to leave. ‘What the hell?!’ im thinking but also: ‘Aha, finally some emotion’. Next day she comes up with reasons why it might not be practical to move out yet and that I probably will not find a better place. At the same day I did find another place close by and later told her I would be leaving soon. Now contact between us is on surface-level…mainly being polite to one another. Soon I am going to move out and there are still a thing or two not talked over yet. Also im wondering..what after I moved out? Will she start missing me and try to contact me? And if she does how will I respond and what to do?
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
If she is too shy to kiss you, then it is unlikely that she will make the first move. You can talk to her about how she feels about kissing, if she is comfortable with it, and if she’d like to kiss you. These questions will give you clear guidelines about how to proceed with her.
If you behaved in 3+ of the above ways during the latter stages of your relationship with your ex, then the reason you lost her is because her attraction for you faded out. She will likely have told you some other bullsh*t reason for the break up, but the fact that you answered yes to the questions above, coupled with the amount of sense that the explanations I gave make, shows that dying attraction is unmistakably the cause.
Show how you’ve changed. Once you start spending some time with your former flame again, you need to let her see that you’re a changed man. Don’t do the same old things that used to drive her crazy. You can even laugh and point out how much better you are now if you want to make light of things. If she always complained about how messy your car was, clean it up and say, “Not bad, right?” the next time she needs a ride.
I think the more we talk about this the harder things will be to hear for you. I think you need to take some time for yourself doing whatever. Go back to work if you haven’t already. Read the Power of Now, it’s not going to solve your problems and make you feel better but it will help you see things from a different perspective. I’m even reading it again. [otp_overlay]