In order to get to this stage you will need a bit of courage and show a genuine interest for your ex; in other words you need to provide him or her with attention to make them feel valued and be an active listener. Whether you reestablish contact via a Facebook message, in person or through an email the important thing is to show that you are genuinely interested in how they are doing and in what they’ve become. Ask him or her questions and pay attention to their answers and concerns in order to rebound on something that they may say or give more importance too and create an organic free flowing conversation. Especially in the beginning or during the first few times that you communicate. He or she will feel your genuine interest; although you may not have talked in years it will seem as if you’ve been in contact all along. He or she will quickly start to confide in you and you will have your opportunity to re-seduce your ex!
Oh, if your relationship was less than 3 months old, then you should reduce no contact to about two weeks. Perhaps, learn a bit of communication skills during this time so you can make the relationship about something more than sex when you get back in touch. Also, before you contact him again, make sure he is worth it and you have the right attitude about this. After all, you don’t want to invest too much time and energy into someone with whom you had a shallow relationship based on only sex.
I guess in a very rare case. If your ex is willing to work on whatever caused him to cheat. He/She has agreed to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust. And you are ready to forgive him/her and work on rebuilding the trust.
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Hello Adrian, I broke up with my girlfriend in November of 2014. I told her the reason was because I was with someone new. However, I was never in a relationship with anyone before and after the break up despite I was indeed seeing someone new. A week before the break up, we were in a cold war, the kind of period where she just stopped talking to me, reason being I said something inappropriate. A week later, she came back to me and I asked to break up. My ex and I had little to no arguments or fights when we were together despite it’s our second time splitting up. First time was due to the same reason, except it was my ex who was seeing someone. It’s been almost 17 months since the break up and earlier February of this year, she got into a new relationship. Before that, I was told she was devastated to see me leave but I have no idea how long she felt that way. Now, I am not sure if my ex is in a rebound relationship. When she started dating, she seemed kind of protective of her relationship from me, but now she is getting more and more comfortable with sharing it on Snapchat and Twitter. One thing that puzzled me was that before and after she got into her new relationship, she still contacted me occasionally, talking about our common interests. When I found out she is in a new relationship, I insisted on asking if she wants to talk about it. She said alright and I asked it to be in a month’s time, allowing me to go through the no contact period. We will be meeting up end of April or beginning of May. We were also in a relationship for almost a year before I asked to break up. At this point, I probably have done things I shouldn’t have done, what do you think I should do next and do you think it is still possible for me to get her back? Thank you!
Who knew a former flame just might be the perfect person for you? It’s impossible to predict what surprises are around the corner, so roll with it as best you can, and every time your partner makes your heart melt yet again, thank the universe that you took the risk of giving them another go.
Remember what caused you to break up. Relationships that are on-again-off-again tend to be volatile and emotionally unstable. Remembering what caused your original break up and dealing with those issues can help to prevent some of the same challenges from cropping up again.
Please do tell me how I’m going to get him back after being apart for so long, plus we don’t even live close together so it’s not like I’m going to run into him. So I want to know how I’m going to get him to spend time with me and how I will get him back or get him to want me.
Attractive and higher value men never seek validations from his girlfriend or wife. This is because they live their own life and doesn’t care what others think about them. If you are asking questions from your girlfriend like “Do you love me?” “How much do you love me?” “Do I look good with you?” it means that you are sub-commenting that you are not sure about you. You definitely have to live with ‘nobody is perfect’ because this way you can accept what you currently are and be comfortable in your own skin.
It is however very very rare for this to happen; these couples are either emotionally disconnected to one another or exactly on the same page about their expectations in regards to their relationship, work/life balance, expectations on how to raise children, etc.
I don’t want to talk about common mistakes that ended your relationship. If I start writing I can point out more than hundred mistakes that men do in their relationship however I don’t want to talk about these mistakes because all of these mistakes come to one BIG REASON and that is ‘loss of attraction’.
If your ex has fallen into the friend zone (for example, if he or she says “I’m no longer in love with you”), you might be able to recreate the experience of falling in love by building intimacy with your ex. In one study, a researcher had two strangers stare into each other’s eyes and then answer personal questions (like “What is your biggest fear?” and “What is your best memory from childhood?”). They were able to create an intimate bond between the strangers, creating attraction and even the feelings of love. Try spending time looking into your ex’s eyes and asking deep questions and see if this helps move your relationship back into intimate territory.
Of course it is. Plenty of now-happy couples have, at one time or another, split up, only to reunite and ultimately be stronger together. You might have been feeling despairing, hurt, obsessed (we always tend to obsess about what makes us very unhappy or happy); but now is the time to really think clearly. You might feel ‘in pieces’ or that life has become meaningless. It hasn’t! These feelings will pass, even if you really don’t believe that.
I want to point this out because often times when you are in the process and mindset of getting back with an ex, you can tend to forget that it’s also about you being happy rather than simply being in a relationship with the person that you love. It’s OK for you to be unhappy; it’s OK for you to voice your discontent at times and to set certain expectations for your significant other.
I feel like you two aren’t together now for the right reasons. he could have gone to England and sabotaged everything – but he didn’t. I would reach out soon and ask him how he’s travels are going. Try to extract any drama and just show him you’re understanding and that you’re compatible.
I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn’t love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn’t find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it’s business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn’t paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn’t look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn’t get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend. My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn’t holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so ..
I recommend to contact your ex after 30 days in all my articles. So if he is reading the same thing, he will contact you. If he doesn’t, you should contact him. It doesn’t really matter who makes the first move. What matters more is the way you talk to him when you get back in touch.
If you try to convince your ex that this new person is not right for them, it’s only going to make them want it more (think of telling someone to not press a button and they’ll definitely want to press it). They might even let the rebound relationship run longer just to prove you wrong.
Now you have to understand I am not talking about the Honeymoon stage of the relationship. You know the time where everything about your partner seems perfect and you never fight and you just can’t get over how amazing they are.
The man who hopes to reconcile with a wounded wife must first realize that for her to return to him will require that she trust and forgive him. Such a wife may be consumed by bitterness, but rather than concentrate on what his wife is doing wrong, it is better that an abandoned husband think about what he must do facilitate the softening of her heart to help her forgive and trust him.
He stayed at my house after sex saying he cant get home that late so we were sleeping together. Then stayed for the weekend, cooked for me and left his stuff at me saying he dont want to bring it again. Then started to repair my boiler, ordered stuff and collected from the shop. I was terrified what he wants. After my marriage I lived alone with 2 kids and I was happy: I could decide about my things alone and it was like a fresh air after 20 year long marriage even if it was hard sometimes to arrange everything alone eg. moving, kids illness, arranging school for kids, repairing things, normal household duties, paying bills and also I had a fulltime job. But I felt happy and independent. But I was almost like a male and I have not sex with anyone. But after 2 years I started feeling unwell physically and menthally. I thought it was because of lack of sex. But since I did not want to lose my independence, I decided on this friends with benefits type of thing. This is the story behind it.
And it’s not just my personal experience. There are cases all over the Internet of people getting back together and staying in a happy relationship after that. Let’s look at some reasons where it would be a good idea to get back together.
People without opinions, or those who do everything to please others are BORING! Every good love story has conflict…ever heard that “opposites attract”? Don’t be afraid to stand up, express yourself, and pick the other side. You won’t attract your ex back by saying “yes” to everything.
In other words, giving in to the desires and instructions of women on an even semi-regular basis is unattractive to them, and if you were doing it, then it will have definitely been a part of the reason she dumped you.
Depending on how close you are to your family or your friends, they may have seen you and your ex-partner together or they may have known you both well when you were together. They may be able to give you some insight and perspective on some of the possible issues in your relationship and ways that you can work on these issues. Be willing to listen to their advice, but remember that ultimately you will need to figure out how to work through your issues on your own.
In psychology, Reactance Theory states that when a person feels their sense of control is being taken away, the person will immediately try to regain that control by doing the opposite of what they are asked.
Hello sarahspiritwind @ gmail.com helps you to know more about your ex. Sometimes its not even advisable yo get ex back .. Well for any sort of consultation contact her and please tel her Chris referred you. It was my promise. Thanks
Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.
At this point, I recommend grabbing a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Mars and Venus on a Date, as well as my ebook, Mars Venus Dating for couples and singles (which you can grab for FREE below this blog post!)
By getting in your life again you are actually showing to your ex girlfriend that you are actually healing yourself. By healing and moving on, you are creating many attraction traits in your personality that will attract your ex girlfriend back once again.
Besides, if you feel like going back to your ex because it seems like an easy option, remember that nobody wants to be the person you settled for. It’s better to be temporarily alone and hurting in order to find your ideal partner later on, than it is to keep yourself stuck in the same old relationship that has no potential.
So I’m thinking apply no contact and allow him figure it out with her and hopefully allow him think about the possibilities of making it work with me. It’s not do or die, when I love someone I always wish them well, even if it is not with me (something I think is a bad thing, cuz I heard girls fight n go crazy n it works). Do you think we have a chance if I let him go? I’m definitely letting go for a while, but I can’t give up, because of the amazing changes I’ve seen and how we have been so courteous and helpful to each other this year. Last year he wouldn’t let me in and I would completely lose it, this year, he lets me in and I also understand that it is healthier to be patient and think before I speak or act. Are the 5 steps for me too?
If you want your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend to come back in your life and stay with you forever then you can’t go to old relationship without fixing the problems that lead to breakup in the first place.
Start over. Click the reset button. Whatever he did wrong – get over it. Forgive yourself if you’ve made mistakes and forgive him, you are both guilty in one way or another, and reminding each other about it won’t help. You can’t get back together if you are enemies, so stay close to each other by forgiving. Let the past go. Every day is a new opportunity for you to have a better life with a great guy, maybe it’s him – and now that you’re starting over, you’ve learned from your mistakes, but you can continue on only when you manage to forgive.
Of course, this has to be taken together with the reason you broke up. It’s a good sign for your prospects at getting back together if you were together for a long time, but if you broke up because one of you cheated and the trust was gone then your chances are much worse.