Now here’s where things get interesting… given my track record with women I thought I was the only guy “in the dark” when it came to maintaining a relationship… but I was dead wrong. After helping so many men get their ex-girlfriends back it became quite obvious that I wasn’t alone. It was then that I started toying with the idea of compiling their experiences (as well as my own) into something tangible and teaching them to others on a larger level.
A first out-of-bounds behavior is one thing. If the mistake is corrected and not repeated ever again that is a positive development and can result in continuation of a better-than-ever marriage. Continued deal-breaker behaviors however, I agree, are invitations to divorce.
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Dating again to re-kindle the spark immediately after the breakup doesn’t usually work well, because not enough time has passed since then for real changes to have been made for fresh feelings to develop. Additionally, old habits would still remain, and it could easily turn into a situation where you face all the problems of a relationship, but not the full benefits of it since you guys are only ‘dating’. I suggest taking some time off to actually focus on yourself since he is doing the same, and gauge the situation again later on.
My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago and I am having a tough time letting it go. I know all the advice says to move on and get over it, and I almost have. I still have feelings of resentment towards her and wish to get her back.
The only way you’re ever going to work on missing your ex girlfriend is if you admit it to yourself that you miss her in the first place. You may be tempted to swim in the river of denial, but nothing is going to work out if you can’t admit it to yourself.
Are you and your ex on the same page now? – This does not necessarily mean that you and your ex have become really the same because no matter what you do, there will always be differences between two people. What you have to ask yourself is whether or not both parties are already willing to make a few changes and compromise so you can be in the same direction.
Prioritize yourself – This is the perfect time to prioritize yourself. Start hanging out with your friends once again. Focus on your career or do some extra-curricular activities, particularly those that you have been longing to do. Never appear too needy. Make your ex miss you more and do the things that you have once only dreamed of doing. This is the key to regaining back your self-worth and sense of self, allowing you to recover fast and find out whether you still really love her.
My name is Aby…and I truly want you to get back with your ex back if that’s right for you. I hope so. I say “I hope so” that’s because I can never guarantee that thing for you. BUT, if you follow the plans, steps and instructions that I have outlined for you. I can guarantee that your chance of getting your ex boyfriend back or ex girlfriend back will increase in multiple times.
Get back in touch – After a couple of weeks, get in touch either with a text or a Facebook message. Say something friendly, maybe even inject a little humour. Something like “Hey, so I got the job… (yay for me) starting in a week” fancy a celebratory coffee? No kisses or desperate talk.
hello charlie,my girlfriend doesn’t want to date me again and has told me to move on cos she has move on with her life now and is now and is now dating some else. All because my blood brother and one of my friends told her that i have been sharing with them what i do with her in private. She says they told her that i told them she begs me for sex and also to suck me. She got so much upset. I have apologize to her that i didn’t do it but she doesn’t believe me . I have done everything a guy will do show i still love but still she doesn’t want to get back to me. Is been close to 5months but she still doesn’t want us to get together, i love her so much that i can’t see her go. Am short of ideas i need ur help. Thanks
Where did I come up with this? Actually this really happened to me. I was dating a girl and after we broke up I happened to run into her at a Starbucks and even though we had a short friendly conversation I couldn’t take my eyes off of her because she just looked so gorgeous. She looked so good in fact that all I could think was “how in the hell did I let her get away?”
My ex and I split up about a week ago and I also moved out of the country we were living in together. It was a mutual split up, we had huge highs and a loving relationship but we just kept arguing a lot and couldn’t seem to fix this dynamic even thought we loved each otehr a lot. I now think we made a big mistake. Should I follow the NC zone rule or just get in touch now? ALso it is xmas coming up…
Guilt and melancholy, of course, are not Stoic values. We think that whatever we did in the past is not under our control, it cannot be undone, and dwelling on it is therefore entirely unproductive, a waste of precious time and emotional resources. That said, you do want to learn from your past, in order to hopefully decrease the chances of making similar mistakes in the future. That’s why a philosophical diary, perhaps coupled with some heart to heart talk with a “friend of virtue,” as Aristotle would put it, is very helpful. (A friend of virtue is someone wise and honestly interested in your wellbeing, who has the guts to tell you that something you are doing is not the way to go, instead of simply reassuring you that you are doing fine.)
I know it may be tempting to reach out to your ex (especially if she reaches out to you first), but please resist that urge. She needs to be scared that she’ll lose you. If you respond right away, she knows that she can get you back at any time.