All of the crying, Instagram stalking, begging, analyzing, gossiping, playing detective, pleading and bargaining will get you nowhere and the pity and empathy that you are after will never happen. It turns men off, WAAYYYY off to know that you have such little confidence and such a minuscule life that you’re obsessed with their every move and obsessed with losing them. Men want to feel wanted, not psychotically needed. Beating yourself up is not going to help you either. Are you listening? Either make the mistakes that I’ve made in the past or wake the hell up and give this emotionally unavailable f*cktard a run for his money.

The good news is that there is potential for ending up with reunion and a better-than-ever relationship ahead.  Here’s five steps that can save folks from crashing down the waterfall, enabling them instead to find solid ground and a bridge to a better future.

He told his best friend’s girlfriend i smothered him which I was never home I worked, ran errands alone watched t.v alone at times and hung out with friend’s. He told his sister we bickered and that’s why…now I know I need to step away from his family, but I was told by his sister he is content, he misses me and is sad ,but he is OK with being alone. He just doesn’t want to be responsible for someone else right now…he told his sister not to tell him if I find anyone and he “says” he doesn’t want to date anyone for a while…all he has is his sister really his dad really just works and stays in his room.

Watch for signs that your relationship won’t work. While you might have strong feelings for this person, sometimes two people are just not compatible. If your relationship is toxic, you need to move on rather than trying to win back your ex. Some signs that your relationship is troubled beyond repair include:

…it is extremely important that you decide on a solid plan right now. Before you are tempted to make a bad move by instinct, and blow your chances in the process. (You will be tempted, no doubt about it, and the ice cream will be the least of your problems).

How you view yourself, how you feel about yourself and the conversation you’re having inside your head about you, is a million times more important than any outside relationship. I don’t care who this guy is and how much you love him. YOUR love for yourself trumps him. Always.

A week after he had sex with one of those girls. Now he has one girl who reguarly visits, works with and has sex with. She is the complete opposite of me in looks and personality. He keeps this a secret from me and I heard it from his roommate who is a close friend of mine. I don’t know if he really likes her or if she is a rebound. He doesn’t know I know this because I do no contact.

“It took me a long time to get over the guilt of breaking up with my last ex. When I told him it was over, he was surprised, very hurt, and angry. I felt horrible for making him so upset. Over the course of two years, I tried to stay friendly with him to ease his pain, but when I heard he had a girlfriend, I felt totally relieved and completely over him.” —Jessica B.

The thought of your ex being with someone else is a gut wrenching one. But in reality, it’s not as bad as we make it out to be. We will get into that later, but first, let’s take a look at how your instincts react when you find out your ex is dating someone else.

In this section we are going to be focusing more on what YOU need to do during the year long no contact to properly get over your ex boyfriend. But first, I thought it might be interesting to show you some of the behaviors to avoid.

Hard to admit, but true: in every breakup you’ve experienced, you were the common denominator. Instead of blaming him exclusively for what happened, look within and determine how you contributed to the demise of your relationship. For instance, do you tend to question your exes about their whereabouts because you have a hard time trusting them? If so, those are your trust issues to address and fix, not his to magically resolve.

During this time, we’ve had some casual exchanges. We even talked about the relationship and what was next last Sunday. He said that he realized his level of immaturity and was legitimately using the time of the break to focus and think about things. He didn’t think it was fair to me to be in a relationship with a man-child and that wasn’t the type of balance that a long-term relationship needed. I asked him if he saw potential in us as long term, and he said that this is one of the things that he is thinking about too.