What It Is: When your heart is bruised, it’s cathartic to complain about it to your friends, whose very job it is to pump you back up. But this chatty habit can become a hindrance if it keeps you from moving on—often, just talking about your ex is a way of feeling some emotional connection to the person, even if that feeling is a negative one. If you think you’re guilty of too much talking about your past love, put an embargo on this kind of moping: You can keep a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you’re about to bring your ex up. Or train yourself to see a mental stop sign when you’re about to stroll down memory lane, or ask your friends to not indulge you in nostalgia talk.

“You look amazing. You smell amazing. You look like you are doing great in your life. You look like you’ve been working out. You look happy. You look confident, sexy, fun and attractive. You look like a catch. Why did I break up with you again?” – Your Ex

My wife has accused me of a lot of things in our years of marriage some of those accusation were true and i admitted to doing them but am to much in love with her to give her an s.t.d. She was down to end our marriage cos she believed i gave an s.t.d. She had a good reason to believe that cos of late i haven’t been the best husband. Thank God that s@@t was clarified in the Trisha show that i was not responsible for the s.t.d. She was in love with me as i was in love with her. Yes i will admit to the fact that i f$$ked up so many times but we always got around our problem i don’t mean avoid it i mean we fixed our problem like real adults but my stepson always thought i was not good enough for his mother. We never really got along. I never hated him, but he just didn’t like me and i wasn’t gonna suck up to him.He just wanted me out of their life and our problem just made it possible for him to see that happen cos he also accused me of giving my wife, his mother s.t.d. I agreed to do the Trisha show thinking maybe it will help fix our marriage but it made it even worse. After the show she was more down to live me. She asked that i move out of the house filled for a divorce and all. I thought she will come to her sense and see that though she had s.t.d i still wanted to be with her. I thought if i should give her time he anger and bitterness will die but it didn’t even after a whole month after everything.She had the divorce delivered to me. I could not let her go just like that.I got desperate and i panicking so i used a spell to get her back i know most people don’t believe and you may call me crazy but it worked for me. I found a comment on the Internet about this spell caster Metodo Ell. The comment said he doesn’t do spell for those who are not meant to be together. I mean i believe with all my heart that she is the one thing i needed in my life and i also know she needs me too so i thought he could help me get her back.He agreed to help me cos he also said we are soul mate.All i needed for the spell were materials to get the spell done. I could not get them so i paid him to get them for me since he is the expect in this stuff.After three days, he sent me a substance with instructions on how to make the spell effective and i did as he directed but honestly it took seven days to work i guess good things don’t work like zap. As far as i can tell that s$$t worked cos all my marriage problem just fall off my shoulder AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST.My wife didn’t go through with the divorce and stepson is cool with me now. If you want to get him to cast a spell for you contact him here with this email address metodoacamufortress@yahoo. com he could also do a direct spell maybe it meant cost a little more than mine i don’t know him only can tell you that.

This article is very helpful. I’m going to try it right away. I shouldn’t have any doubt. But I know my ex has completely moved on and he’s glad about leaving me cause my desperate act after the break up. He may be having a new affair too. And I don’t see him or we don’t have any common friends he lives distance from me. He is not in my Facebook friend list either. So there is no way for him to think about me or see my change. I just want to know under these circumstances can I still get my ex back? I know this is also a negative thought that I should not have. But if you can say something about this that’ll help me to be more positive. Thank you.

Yes, you should definitely have this conversation with him. I recommend that you write down the type of relationship you want in your life. Write down the 5 most important thing for you in a relationship. And after that, write down your boundaries. Write down what is non-negotiable for you. This could be things like “Cheating, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse etc.”

What kills me is that he seems to be in love with me from a distance. I don’t want to go into details here, but, yeah, it’s pretty obvious. But, he’s been dealing with some pretty intense emotional trauma (the woman he dated before me abused him) and if he could speed up his recovery, then I’m sure he would, but abuse recovery just doesn’t work that way (I know; I’ve been abused too). I agree that minor sh*t can be quickly dealt with when necessary, but major sh*t takes time.

Sorry because I am a bit tiring. I have doubts about “no contact rule” in my case. In my understanding your theory is based on the fact that there were happy moments in the relationship and after a while people tend to remember the good memories, the overall picture and forget about the problems (eg. clinginess, small debates), the small negative details. My relationship with this man though was about great sex and awful debates right afterwards (since I was fighting against my own feelings), therefore the overall picture is not good. There were no happy moments in this relationship with the exception of sex. Basically, I can say only the sexual attraction kept it alive at all for 3 months. And I am aware that sexual attraction can fade away fast so what remains is the overall negative picture. Am I not right?

Trying to convince your ex why he should come back just pushes him further away. It reinforces why he’s better off without you, because you appear needy and desperate and like you haven’t heard anything he’s tried to communicate. Needy and desperate are traits that will kill any attraction any man may have for you. 

Español: hacer que tu ex novio quiera volver contigo, Deutsch: Bringe deinen Exfreund dazu dass er dich zurück will, Italiano: Convincere il Tuo Ex Ragazzo a Tornare Insieme a Te, Português: Fazer seu Ex‐Namorado Querer Você de Volta, Русский: заставить бывшего парня вернуться, 中文: 让你的前男友想要挽回你, Français: faire revenir ton ex petit ami, Bahasa Indonesia: Membuat Mantan Pacar Anda Menginginkan Anda Kembali, Nederlands: Zorgen dat je ex vriendje je weer terug wil, Čeština: Jak zajistit, aby vás váš expřítel chtěl zpět, العربية: استعادة صديقكِ الحميمي السابق, ไทย: ทำให้แฟนเก่าต้องการคุณคืนมา, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ muốn bạn quay về, 한국어: 전 남자친구 되찾는 법

My situation is a little different. I am 22 and my boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me. It was basically because he thought we were sexually incompatible (which isn’t really true, as I change drastically depending on what’s going on around me) and it wasn’t going to work out.

What draws us into bad relationships and keeps us stuck in them for far too long is low self-esteem. We don’t believe we can do better and reason that something is better than nothing so we have nothing to lose. The subconscious is always looking for validation. If you don’t believe you’re good enough, you will continue to date men who make you feel unworthy and you’ll stay because deep down you think this is what you deserve. It isn’t. Until you realize this and work through whatever needs to be worked through, you won’t be able to have a healthy, happy relationship with anyone, be it your ex or some other guy.

For years Peter had reacted to Paulette’s complaints about him with defensiveness. When he did allow himself to hear information about what he was doing that troubled his wife, he’d get mad at himself.  Listening to her had escalated his agitation and distress instead of leading to learning. Now Peter decided he’d better address her concerns, beginning by writing out a list of all he could recall. “Information is power,” he reminded himself to ease the sting of shame and guilt. 

We broke up 2 weeks ago and during the first 2 days of our breakup he became really sweet as if we’re still together and keeps on saying he’s tempted to get back again but says we need some space. He keeps saying he’s tempted but he’s not doing it because he wants to stand firm with his decision. He gets annoyed and says he’s done and he doesn’t want me anymore whenever he feels like I’m pushing him to get back with me. He tells me he misses me but when he feels like I’m pushing him he always says he’s done and we’re not getting back together. After a week I sent him a long ass message telling him how much I love him and miss him and telling him all our fun moments together and he replied in a very sweet and positive way. He said he’s hurt because he misses everything too and i’m his happiness and he’s lonely without me. He said he wanted to talk to me and call me but doesn’t do it because he wants to know his true feelings. He told me that we will try again when the time is right and that everything’s gonna be alright. We talked the whole day but when the night came I sent him a long message again and he just told me “That’s too long” and said “well I’m working on myself and I’m trying to move on” he felt that I was again pushing him to get back with me and said he was just slowly letting go to not shock me and that he’s done and we are never getting back together. It’s been two days since that happened and we never spoke again. I want us to get back together and I’m sure of it. what should I do?

This really makes me feel crap..maybe you say I need more patience. I know. But His replies gave me hope. Maybe he thinks I start gnatting again because I have sent 4 messages after he asked how am I… and all of them are unread. He has done that before…leaves my messages unread until he replies.. or not going to reply at all. I don’t wanna ruin this again.

Now one has to stand down in order to survive the hot climate. This is very important. Because If both of you out of your ego’s are not ready to do what it takes, what it will result in? A fight or a hot talk?None of it will help you out. The best of the response one can have in order to avoid is to stand down. If your boyfriend is outrageous, then the situation can be worse.

Another important thing that I learnt about attracting the one you love back is that you have to be willing to let go. It sounds crazy that you have to let go of the thing you want the most but if you keep missing him or wanting him you will send vibrations to the universe that you are lacking and the universe will only give you what you attract which is lack. That is why you need to let them go. That is how the law of attraction works. You need to have faith and believe that once you have asked for something you will receive it, just be expectant and let go. Believe that the universe has your best interests at heart and give it all to the universe, this makes manifestation process faster.

The best way to handle this situation is to stay calm and present yourself as you are happy in your life with him. If he meets you one-on-one then avoid getting into deep conversation with him. Just smile, say “Hello” and do your own business.

I am afraid he completely lost his faith in it which is not a wonder if I think about it. Even I am happier without that relationship because that was a constant fight between my heart and mind. What I would like to do: start a completely new thing with him because I think we might match naturally, only I protected myself against love all along. But I am aware that human beings are not guniea pigs so it might be late. I just wanna get the highest chance to start it again if possible at all. I hurt him so many times and we had 3 breakups during 3 months. So it is almost hopeless to base a new start on good memories.

We haven’t spoken to each other since then , I blocked him from every social media and all possible ways of communicating, I never really forgot him I loved him and I still do crazy. 2 months back , we spoke to each other via Instagram and felt like nothings really had changed. He still knows I love him so much , but he has a gf and they’ve been dating for 9 months now and she’s in Maldives and they’ve never met each other yet.She knows about me as he says he always had been talking about me with whoever he meets , he says he likes who I am cause I’m very different from the other girls and he loves my character. I surprised him on his 21st bday and he had some conflicts with his gf . He says me all the issues , I keep listening that supper his thought but it’s killing me on the inside, but I don’t have the right to nag and pick about the issues. They broke up 2 weeks back , and he’s been talking to me all day and night. Now she showed up 3 days back .. and they are sorting out problems.

I still love my ex but we work together and before we broke up we’re together for three years not only this but he lives around the corner and I have tried to move on but I always see him with his new girlfriend they became a couple as when me and him were dating he slept with her on multiple occasions

He doesn’t want to talk much about the breakup or the reasons, he’s never been one to open up and share his feelings, but he says there’s no going back from what happened. Yet, when I ask him if he sees a possibility of us working out in the long term, he says yes. I can’t tell if he means that or is just saying it, but what should I do to get him back in the long term? I have already broken the rule of trying to convince him and have tried remaining in contact with him, but I am going to stop contacting him completely now.

Show him that you are fine without him. It will be clear to him that you aren’t an obsessed ex girlfriend, but it will also show him that you’re having fun without him, which may result in him missing you more.

This is the reason why you need to avoid begging your ex to come back to you even if you have just been apart for a very short while. You need to view the time away from him as an opportunity to focus on and improve yourself.

If you know that a particular friend or family member dislikes your ex, ask to sit down and discuss why. Find out if it is based on how the ex treats you or others, knowledge your friend may have that you don’t, or other evidence that might be meaningful.

This doesn’t mean you need to completely shun him if you go to school together or have mutual friends, but avoid calling him or hanging out with him for a little while so that you both have the chance to heal and gather your thoughts.

You have to make a plan on how you want to spend time with your ex boyfriend in your date. You spend a good amount of time with your ex boyfriend, and you know his likes, dislikes and everything in between.

I say all that in the last paragraph to make the point that if face to face is how getting a girl back generally happens, then you’ll need to set up a meet with your ex when you communicate with her via texts and calls, especially after she moved on (if it seems she has).

Always wanted to learn to surf/speak French/play guitar? Miller says doing it now’s a great idea since it will give you something to focus on besides him. Even the tiniest challenge (like coming up with a new outfit combination every day) can have an impact.

If you think it’s very hard to be with him because of the distance, time, circumstances, work, finances, and 100 other reasons, then you will create the reality where it’s extremely difficult to be with him because of 100+ reasons. Why would you do that to yourself, and why would you do that to both of you?

In most cases, a breakup is caused by the actions of both parties. Often it may seem like one person is completely at fault, but if you take the time to think about how you two have been relating to each other and the events leading up to the breakup, often you will find that there is in fact fault on both sides.