Getting over something is tough, but reliving it over and over again isn’t at all helpful. “Sometimes, you really do need to forgive and forget,” she says. “It’s important to understand that everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of the process of growing and learning what does and doesn’t work in a relationship.”
To better improve your chances at a fresh start, insist on couples therapy for both of you. “Pre-commitment therapy can help you find out the pitfalls and whether you’ve solved the old problems,” explains Tessina. She also suggests considering seeing a therapist on your own, to get expert help to decide if you’re dating for the right reasons.
Did you completely cut out your social life? Do you no longer hang with your friends? Did you constantly find yourself being in demand of your ex’s time to do certain activities together as opposed to doing them alone? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions the odds are that you were in fact too needy.
You both are not together now doesn’t matter if you meant to be live together. You can’t act like you are still together, keep on remembering your old memories, and expect your ex not to date someone else – this is simply not an option.
Same case is with me mate, I want my GF badly but do not know how? She stopped talking to me and replying me as well but most surprising thing was she did not tell me why she did so? I never did any thing that hurt her, she is not telling me the reason as well, I am extremely disappointed. Someone help me please.
Be the person he fell in love with. While spending time with your ex as friends, give him reasons to remember all of the things he loves about you. Accentuate the traits you know he loves, like your sense of humor or your empathy.
I recommend to contact your ex after 30 days in all my articles. So if he is reading the same thing, he will contact you. If he doesn’t, you should contact him. It doesn’t really matter who makes the first move. What matters more is the way you talk to him when you get back in touch.
I am completely devastated, hurt, lost and just want her back. I love her completely. We had a few discussions before she left about trying to work things out, and she felt I took her for granted…I had stopped treating her with appreciation and love. I agreed that I have to be more romantic and be an equal partner in the relationship. Over the course of the following days I showed her love and appreciation, treated her like I had done in the past however she still wanted out. She said she needed time and space to figure out what she wants. I told her I would not give up on us but I would give her space that she wanted. She said she still loved me and care a lot about me but was just hurting.
Sarah and Samantha are Co-Founders of Never Be Average, relationship experts, life coaches, and public speakers. Through their book So What Now? and their website Never Be Average they motivate, inspire, and provide tools for women to unleash the power within themselves. You can find them places like Mind Body Green and The Indie Chicks.
My suggestion, from a male perspective, having sex immediately once you meet up again may be a wrong choice. Even if you’ve been together for a long time before, it’s good to make everything seem new, and different. If he messed up, and that’s the reason you broke up, you shouldn’t make it that easy for him to get back together. Throw in some temptation.
Even if you weren’t clingy, no contact is still something you should apply as you the relationship ended on a sour note, and he may harbor negative emotions towards you right now. NC will help give both parties some space to let go of those emotions before attempting anything again. [otp_overlay]