If so, you ARE having irrational thoughts because these statements are definitely NOT TRUE. When you repeat such statements to yourself, it’s no wonder that you feel needy and depressed. To a point, your mind believes whatever you repeatedly tell it… rational or irrational. These irrational thoughts are holding you back… they will actually PREVENT you from getting back with your ex since they are causing the neediness that your ex will find so repulsive.

DONT blow up her phone. and DONT beg for her, thats unattractive and foolish. you have to show her a friend, and that you dont need her. you wont be able to make her jealous because shell be glad youre gone. you have to meet her in person, and show her a man, and that you are serious. dont show her a little kid who wants her to feel bad for you. show her a man, looking for a serious relationship. dont be needy, and dont let your messages exceed double digits to her in a day.

Tell her how you feel. If you really do think that she does want to be with you again, then it’s time to share your feelings with her. Find a time to get her alone, whether you’ve asked her out on a date or are hanging out in a more casual but private setting, and turn to her and tell her how much you’ve missed hanging out with her and that you wish you could be a couple again.

I missed her terribly.  I thought about her all the time.  I was anxious to meet someone new, but inevitably (if unfairly) I often compared potential new partners to her.  At any given moment, there are a handful of pieces of driftwood, floating with the currents of the sea, bearing the simple words, “To ****, I miss you” with my initials underneath.

Improve your style and dressing, go to the gym and lose some weight, exercise and that will not only help you look better but will also help you feel better about yourself. Suppose even if you are not able to reunite, but these improvements will help you in future with your new girlfriend.

The woman i love more than anything on earth broke up with me over something in the past when we weren’t together which I’ve told her the truth over and over again but she doesn’t believe me when i tell it to her she thinks I’m a liar. But i gave her space and everything so she can be alone we broke up about 6 months ago now also. Im her first love she is mine but now she has been texting me saying she is so in love with another guy and she is over me and everything but she calls me wants to know if I’m talking to women and everything like she still wants me but she swears she is in love with another guy. This breaks me down because when i love someone i give them everything.. i just want to know what to do?? I love her and was about to propose to her then this popped up… Whats your opinion??

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If you have maintained contact with your ex since the break up then it will seem weird/rude if one day you just stop contacting them. However, the month of no contact is still very necessary so I would recommend that you slowly, over the course of a week or maybe two, lessen the amount of contact until it seems appropriate to stop completely. Use your judgment remembering that above all, you don’t want to come off as rude as this will only spark a power struggle and completely defeat the purpose of the month of no contact.

My girlfriend broke up with me saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship, I asked all her friends if this was true and they said that she’s never really had a bf. I was basically her first and they said she was scared I want to show her that I won’t hurt her. I’m a guy that isn’t looking for anything physical I am 16 and I’ve never made out with a girl. I was raised with very strict Christian morals and so was she I want to get her back, I just don’t know how to do it.

I know the Stoic thing to do would be to leave the past as it is and live hic and nunc. However, I am finding this tremendously difficult to do. I will go months without thinking of her and suddenly fall into sadness. This has been a barrier in my wanting new romantic relationships and I am not finding a Stoic way to accept my past without feeling emotional and hindered by it. I don’t want to ignore my memories of my relationship as I feel that this would be unhealthy, but I feel like getting back in touch with her would be equally unhealthy (given the two-year hiatus and the way we left things).

After you understand the reason behind the breakup, scan events in the past for your role in the consequent fallout. It is important that you be completely objective while you collate the list of reasons that make up your share of making the relationship head south. This shall help you acknowledge and accept your shortcomings as a boyfriend and exhort you to make the optimal changes that may be the difference between getting her back AND keeping her or letting her slip away forever.

My ex and I split up about a week ago and I also moved out of the country we were living in together. It was a mutual split up, we had huge highs and a loving relationship but we just kept arguing a lot and couldn’t seem to fix this dynamic even thought we loved each otehr a lot. I now think we made a big mistake. Should I follow the NC zone rule or just get in touch now? ALso it is xmas coming up…

The no contact rule is a time where you have a lot to do. You pretty much need to consider every single day during your no contact period as a day where you can slowly improve your situation (but mostly yourself as I will talk about in a moment.)

If the honeymoon period ends for all couples, then why hasn’t it yet ended for you. Or do you feel different towards me now because it sure seems like you are the same if not more so. Gina and Jeff still have the same love for each other as they did at the start. They say it all the time that it’s the same as when they first met. The couples you speak of, in my eyes, are either unhappy and just stuck or the “honeymoon” period they refer to is just the “new” love ending but they still remain deeply in love with each other. They certainly don’t wish that their partner would do something to make the break up easy to do.

I always take my bf back because of pity and feeling sorry for him. I’m not happy and I want to run as far as I can from him. I am not into him anymore. He disgusts me and anytime I want to go he follows me like a dog…he is too needy and I cannot stand him. I want to be with my ex so bad, he is all I need. Distance has separated us but I am back and back to fight for him but it’s hard to get him to leave his girlfriend he lives with. He says he wants to and he is not in love with her but he just cannot pack up and leave. Why can’t he?

Acting like your life is over without your ex will only lose their respect for you. In the history of breakups, no one has ever taken their ex back out of pity. So, doing such a thing is only going to hurt your chances.

I was with my ex gf for about a year and no lie, she is the only girl i have ever really felt happy with. Well anyways, i feel that its my fault because i decided to take a brake with the relationship. Now she has a boyfriend who she has been with for 2-3 years. She and I still talk and hang out every now and then (her boyfriend doesnt know she hangs out with me nor does he know who i am), but it feels wrong to me. I know she has a boyfriend so i respect her and keep my hands to myself. She tells me things like “even thoughi have a boyfriend, you were still the best boyfriend i ever had”, or “sometimes i wish you never broke up with me”. I am currently going to college and she had just graduated high school (we are both 18). Her boyfriend doesnt go to school and does not have a job, so i asked her why she has a boyfriend that isn’t doing anything with his life and she said, “because i love him”, that left me speechless. I know he doesnt deserve her because he always argues and cusses at her, doesnt trust her (what is a relationship without trust?), he keeps her on check (where are you at? Who are you with? What are to doing?). I have never cussed at her, yes we argued sometimes but got over them easily. I listen to what she has to say and I’m there for her when she needs it. It hurts everytime she talks about him and even when she talks to him on the phone in front of me (he doesnt know that i am with her) and tells him “i love you” right before they hang up. I miss her so much and wish that she and I can continue our relationship. I can’t be “just friends”because I’ve known her as my lover and nothing less. I really dont know what to do, but what i don’t want is to have to move on. Pleeeaaassse help me out.

Maybe the most surprisingly helpful comment I ever got was just after my mother’s sudden death, when I hardly knew up from down. My older cousin, whose own mother had died a few years previously, said, “You never really get over it.” Strangely, that helped put it in perspective. The idea is not to forget it as if it didn’t matter – that would be demeaning to the memory – but to put it in its place. We all have these griefs in our lives. Grief is part of life. But life does go on, and every day you have the opportunity to make it worthwhile.

Admitting to what you may have done wrong will help show that you care enough about the relationship to take responsibility and that you’re not just trying to get back together for superficial reasons.

My ex and I have been talking ever so slightly lately but nothing substantial. About a month ago I asked her in person if she was mad at me and she said yes bc of stuff I said to another person. She didn’t tell me what I said or who I said it to. Honestly I have no clue. She added how she thought it was funny how I said that we would get back together one day(she dumped me) but that I closed the door on us even being friends. She’s only 23 and I’m the only person she dated. I’m having a hard time getting her to talk to me about it. A bit afraid to ask her in person bc she’s always surrounded with her friends at work and don’t feel it’s appropriate to show up at her home. She won’t reply to a text that involves talking about why she’s upset. What do I do? What are my options here?

There are many reasons that make this technique successfully but the first and foremost is you are full of mix emotions and you are not in the rational mode to contact your ex again. On other hand your ex girlfriend is also full of mix emotions and she doesn’t know what to say and how to answer your call. If you try to call when your breakup emotions are fresh it is most probably you will say something that is completely useless and end up pushing your ex girlfriend away from your life. [otp_overlay]