Since you guys shared a meaningful relationship, there would be a chance for you guys getting back together but you have to work on those issues first or the same problems would occur again. I suggest applying NC and spending time and focus on those issues like trust, insecurities and overthinking. Understand why you feel this way and try to change it. The best thing you can contribute in getting back together is to change yourself as that’s always the most effective.

Getting the partner to want to work at the marriage is generally one of the least effective ways to initial marriage upgrades. I like though your idea about understanding the other person better, especially if your partner is someone who doesn’t open up and talk. The more you understand your partner’s patterns and take those as given, the more you become ready for real change.

She could be confused still, unable to let go of the past, or perhaps she wants to start off as friends first and is trying to see how she still feels about you. There could also be the last option that she really just wants to maintain a friendship with you and is over you already. I suggest you take things at face value for now since it would be easier compared to second guessing at every turn. Just continue to build up a friendship and bond, before seeing how things go from there. Don’t be too impatient or you would push her away completely.

At the start, it might be better to avoid him so that you don’t have to deal with the negative emotions. Continue with no contact and even if you do see him, you could acknowledge him, but do not engage in small talk for the time being.

Right after a break up is when you are at your emotional peak and I don’t mean a good emotional peak, I am talking about anger, hate, basically everything that Yoda from Star Wars said to avoid. The no contact rule is going to give you time to work on yourself and calm down a little bit so you can think more rationally instead of emotionally.

The notion of formal evaluation for validity, specificity and the like does not apply to this type of informal test which asks about experience of a third party. Therefore, this instrument should not be relied upon in any way as a diagnostic aid but should be used solely as a tool for increasing your own awareness of the type of experience within your relationship which has been highlighted by Dr Carver as potential cause for concern.

I am concerned that he might got scared or started to keep distance because in the last 2 conversation I started to try to build up attraction. As he knows all my lady charm tricks, I think he figured out what I am trying to do… I feel the need of a break, so I have decided to give myself 2 weeks of free time, as I don’t want to end up again desperate and needy, and I feel like these 2 weeks would be enough time for him to finish the exams and to get used again to the school life.

Ok, so me and my ex were together for three months. He is 16 and I am 19. We are both guys. So basically we had an huge fight during New Year’s eve and broke up for two days. We decided to then to get back and try again, and then he decided that we would be better as just “friends” later on that weekend… He broke up with me because he didn’t want to cut talking with a boy he met (and kissed) during New Year’s eve… During the first the days after the break up he was acting like nothing happened or whatsover till I decided to use the whole “no contact” thing to him and then he asked to me go pick up my stuff on his house next week… So what should I do, is the any chance at all anymore or not.

Be sure however that one therapist works with both of you if you want to increase the odds that you will end up re-united as a couple. Two therapists, one for each partner, all but guarantees that the relationship will end.

Getting back on his feet involved reconnecting with old friends, and making contact with new ones as he pursued interests in activities he enjoyed. He joined a book group, found a place with religious services that he liked. He recalled the sports activities that in better times, he used to enjoy and returned to doing those activities again. Bit by bit, his spirits lifted.

I have a person that will do all things for you he is good in all this if you want to get your ex or you want your husband to love you more than anything.I will link you to somebody that will do it for you in less than no time

I understand it can be hard if you have to see your ex at work on a daily basis, however just proceed normally with your life as you normally would and avoid her unless necessary. It’s unavoidable to have to come into contact and continue to talk to her about work related topics, but since she is acting dry, do not engage in any small talk beyond that.

As he felt stronger, Peter felt less need to rant. No need to play the same recording again and again. Anger begets more anger, and repeatedly reminding himself how bad he felt was making the message ‘a little bit louder and a litte bit worse’ with each go-round.

I may do a review of the book you mention. If so I will reference your excellent comment. Thanks so much for writing in, and also for your encouraging feedback about my perspective of hope and attempts to change before writing off an abusive person.

Peter also switched from “awfulizing” about his work situation from a stance of helpless victim to taking a problem-solving stance. What could he do to find a more positive work situation? He began networking with others in his field, stumbled on a job that sounded far more suitable, applied, and at this point is looking likely to get the position.  

*Please note if selecting the abridged version of this test: Abridged tests’ reporting typically contains a brief overview of the topic covered, the test-taker’s overall score with interpretation, and when applicable a description and link to the full version of the test.

It would do you better to walk away from this since he has already prioritized another female over you and has even expressed his disinterest, which might have been caused by the loss of spark or interest after so many years.

So then I see a picture on insta of him & that girl & messaged him finding out they started dating less than a week after our last fight because “they just clicked” & right after finals he went to her house out of state & met her parents (she is rich & apparently has her own house). He said they really like each other but don’t love each other yet & isn’t even thinking about marriage. I told him it didn’t make sense why he’s with her & he said he had a change of heart/things happened fast. We had an ugly fight after that because I was so angry, it was the worst one & he said that’s why he left me. I made a lot of mistakes, really seeming needy but he’s blocked me on everything telling me he really likes her & I need to respect that. I said I did & just wanted to talk/be friends (which he said too) but he’s blocked me. I think it’s a rebound but he broke up with a girl like a month before meeting me & he says he completely shuts out exes. It doesn’t seem like they match but that he really likes her. I don’t know what to do but just really want him back since I’m committed to him but I feel like the more they’re together, they’ll fall in love & I’ve already made myself look like a fool. Help!

and so my ex just ended it all he claims is coz we are far from each other dats y he ended it he was tired of waiting I still love him and he is dating already is there any chance of me getting him back

Few months ago I asked him tell me truth and I’ll walk away from you life , but he said I don’t have an answer and if I’ll deal my life’s troubles I’ll come to you to marry , but now live your life …etc, then he was keeping in touch sometimes , and now just silence from him. I gave up and don’t bothering him anymore too, I’m trying NC , also I disappeared from all my social nets, but I think it will useless in my case, he can’t solve his difficulties

At the same time, many, and quite possibly most, abusers, are not willing or able to apply themselves to learning better ways. The partner of an abusive individual must look realistically if their partner is one of the subgroup of abusers who does genuinely apply him/herself to making changes, or is of the larger group who are just going to keep returning to abusive and controlling behavior.

Alright, so the biggest thing I want you to focus on for the no contact period is the fact that you are using this month to become the best version of yourself that you have ever been. There is a 100% chance, especially if you are ignoring him, that your ex is going to check up on you during this period and instead of sulking around feeling sorry for yourself he is going to see a strong, sexy, fun-having woman!

Peter arranged to meet his wife for coffee. He brought with him his list of all the old habits that he now understood had been problematic in the old relationship. He also listed the new habit patterns he was building to replace the old ones.  

Tracing strong reactions to current life events back to their origin in earlier experiences can enable a person to identify what felt the same then and now. The healing question then is to find what in the present situation is different.

Me and my ex have been broken up since 6th grade know i am in 7th grade we still talk and he says he still loves me but i told him that he has a girlfriend and i have a boyfriend but he never listens to me… its like he still wants to go out but he knows he has a girlfriend and he knows i have boyfriend

5. Go out on a date. This is absolutely essential and if you are reading this, then I will recommend that you definitely go out on a few dates before ending no contact with your ex. It’s absolutely imperative for you to get some perspective right now and meeting new people is the best way to do it.