My ex and I split up about a week ago and I also moved out of the country we were living in together. It was a mutual split up, we had huge highs and a loving relationship but we just kept arguing a lot and couldn’t seem to fix this dynamic even thought we loved each otehr a lot. I now think we made a big mistake. Should I follow the NC zone rule or just get in touch now? ALso it is xmas coming up…
Exercises on listening skills helped Peter identify the counter-productive listening habits that he had developed that had been a major factor in creating needless antagonisms. With more effective listening skills, he could see right away that he could make the tone of their conversations more positive.
So here’s my situation. I’ve had a relationship for the past 3.5 years. For a long time prior to those years she had a huge crush on me, but i never really did anything with it. Even still we got together. During the relationship i never really felt i was truly in love with her, at least i thought so. But i also need to mention that i was smoking weed on a daily basis. (She hated that) Which resulted in me not to be able to express my feelings in the right way, or even to be having’ feelings. During this time i was unemployed and living in her house pretty much rent-free, and even still she was the sweetest girl in the world for me. (make’s me sick to my stomach even thinking about that now) I was a really selfish guy over the years, never surprised her or anything like that and have been taking’ her for granted During the entire relationship. Never really considered her feelings. (Again, sick to my stomach) So due to text messages she started building a emotionally relationship with some guy she met a bar way back before our relationship. Can’t really blame her for that giving the fact i was emotionally unavailable due to smoking weed. It always stayed with text messaging she claims and i believe her. This lasted from May to August. I forgave her. Last September we’ve been on holiday together, for here it was a sort of last attempt to save our relationship. Which i didn’t knew at the time. So i continued in my own selfish ways, and continued smoking weed. She was slipping right from under my nose and i didn’t even noticed. After the holiday we’ve stayed together until November 10th which is when she dumped me. Again, cant blame her, thinking back i am surprised she even last this long with me. Since then i have stopped smoking weed, cant even stand the smell of it, got a job, and starting to express my emotions again. Needless to say that i want her back, in fact i feel like im in love with her. She says its to late, that she really would want it but that her feelings for me has changed. However, she does keep contacting me, even send some nudes and stuff like that but still don’t want te be in a relationship anymore. Also does she really badly wants to stay friends and gets really upset if i suggest to brake contact, just because i cant handle this form of contact we are having right now, simply because i want her back so badly. Do think NC will do the trick? I’ve been trying it 2 times already but never got past 2/3 days as she keeps calling/texting me and i feel bad for her and cave. And its hard for me as well of course. Sorry for my English, im from Europe.
I call this part “The Instincts” because all these mistakes are a direct result of people following their instincts. Most of the advice in this 5 Step Plan is counter-intuitive, but it works. When you read it, you will understand why and it will all start to make sense. So let’s start by going over the deadly mistakes that you should avoid at any cost.
Tactic 4 is very similar to tactic 3. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Here is a great example of an appreciation text:
I may do a review of the book you mention. If so I will reference your excellent comment. Thanks so much for writing in, and also for your encouraging feedback about my perspective of hope and attempts to change before writing off an abusive person.
You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.
There is a difference between being a player and being romantic. Are you a flirt and you like to tease? Or, are you too committed in life? Are you a player or romantic? Take the quiz below to know more on this.
My ex ended things 2 weeks ago. Initially he said he didn’t know if he wanted a relationship anymore and needed to think about things but didn’t want to end things completely. At first he was lovely, reassuring me he still cared about me it was just a case of timing and wanted to stay in contact whilst he figured things out. But I pressured him into making a decision the more I text the more annoyed he got and ended things completely. Initially I made the mistake of trying to change his mind, he reluctantly replied at first but the stopped responding completely. I started NC 2 weeks ago and then today he deleted me off all social media. I panicked and messaged him asking how his Christmas was, he read and didn’t respond. I don’t know what him deleting me means and what I should do about it? Should I re start no contact or is this his way of saying he’s moved on? We are both in our 20’s and were together for 2 months.
If you have kids together- The last thing you want is to come off like a jerk. So, if you are in this situation make sure you keep your interactions to a minimum. Keep things short, simple and positive.
Note also that therapy is virtually always more potent if the couple goes together for some of the sessions. Paulette, after initial reluctance, decided to schedule sessions with Peter’s therapist as well. They sometimes saw the therapist separately, and sometimes together which helped them to recognize and rectify the problematic patterns in their prior interactions. When both partners participate in a process of growth, the odds zoom up that the outcome will be positive for both of them.
The notion of formal evaluation for validity, specificity and the like does not apply to this type of informal test which asks about experience of a third party. Therefore, this instrument should not be relied upon in any way as a diagnostic aid but should be used solely as a tool for increasing your own awareness of the type of experience within your relationship which has been highlighted by Dr Carver as potential cause for concern.
You are right, the respect thing in the relationship is a big issue and you should have a serious but calm discussion about it with her, in fact you both should let one another know what is important in order to make this new relationship a happy success for both of you. You don’t wanna run into the same mess as before.
If you are asking yourself the following question: how to keep my man satisfied? Then you’ve come to the right post, I will show you what to do in order to not only satisfy him, but to also keep him interested in you for a very long time, in fact, forever!
However, don’t go overboard in pushing them. Like ”Come on. Just go out with me once. Please. Pretty please.” Or “You broke up with me and broke my heart. The least you can do is go out with me one time.”
That’s great to hear! Well to answer your question, respect is very subjective and the reason people start messing around with others isn’t so much out of the lack of respect in my opinion, but when a need or requirement in the relationship isn’t met, thus causing the person to seek it with someone else. It could either be physical needs, emotional needs, or others. If you want to avoid this happening in the future, you might need to ask yourself and think from her point of view and wonder why she cheated the first time around, and prevent it.
Hey,my long distance boyfriend just broke up with me after an ugly fight. He is working and I am a final year student. He thinks that I am not serious about my career and so instead of being with him, I should focus on that. But I am not able to get over him. I am working pretty well in my career but he doesn’t understand. Also, he always comes up with an excuse of not having time as he is busy with his office stuff. But as I said, I love him a lot. I am going to his city next week for an interview. Please suggest me if I should meet him and fix things or not.
I have picked myself up already. I’m months past the grieving stage, I just want her to feel confident about giving us another chance. She has told me she notices I’m more calm and that she likes that, yet I think she has been skeptical about trying again. When I think of her I don’t feel bad. I know we had something meaningful. But I don’t really know what no contact is supposed to be doing for me right now if I’ve picked myself up. I’ve made peace with whatever happens, but I want her to pick up on the newer version of me.
By completing the quiz below you’ll not only receive an answer to the bothering “Can I get my ex-boyfriend back?” question… but also personalized recommendations to get him back that fit your specific break-up details.
I have this huge crush on this one boy and the only time I get to talk to him /see him is when we get out of are class’s and this other girl she likes him to so I am not sure if he likes me because during lunch the teachers moved us one 5th grade on one side of the cafeteria and the other 5th grade on the other side of the cafeteria and when the girl that is not my friend when she sits next to him and he moves away from her because he doesn’t like her and he is not a person who likes to go out with people because he is shy and I asked his friends if he likes anyone and Thay say yes someone in my class and I ask him if he likes anyone and he says no and he is always looking at me or the other girl that is not my friend and when we are in class the girl that is not my friend she is in the same class as his and I’m always worried about him:)
Hi my name is Shelley me and my ex broke up last week and he all a rest got a new girlfriend and it’s was drama in our relationship and I did break up with but do u think he still loves me and he keep on staring at me every single day I don’t know that’s means and I still loves him I need help and can someone help me please??
Hello, this is very sad, but you’ll be making a huge mistake by asking him to get back with you, if I were you, I would ignore him as long as possible, make him miss me and then, when he comes begging, I’ll give him a hard time at first to know my true value for him. Don’t rush things, he’ll go bored of you quickly!
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/get-husband.png 1280 1280 Jessica Raymond http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/LoveLearningsLogo2.png Jessica Raymond2017-08-21 18:36:082017-12-03 09:28:17How to Get Your Husband Back
My girlfriend broke up with me after 4 years due to me being controlling and clingy. Told me the night of the breakup that she loved me, but wasn’t in love with me anymore. We talked every so often afterwards until I figured out I was actually making things worse and proceeded with NC for 25 days. We’re long distance so it’s a bit easier than others. We had plans to meet up when I came home to visit family for thanksgiving and talk, and we did meet up but we hardly talked. She said it was too soon and didn’t want our emotions to get the better of us. I was a bit mad, because I waited almost an hour. We spoke on the phone afterwards and got into an argument about what happened and both said some mean things.