“How long am I expected to live like this? The days are VERY lonely. It’s an unbelievably depressing feeling to wake up and immediately realize that I’m not home, and have no friends or family to talk with … I get up, I meditate, I swim, I go to work, I eat, I lift some weights, I meditate again and go to sleep. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I’m not enjoying work (which would normally be a decent distraction), but feel I can’t quit, as I have too many financial responsibilities I have to uphold. I’m amazed I haven’t gone mad yet.
My ex broke up with me in Febuary this year while I was at overseas. We were together for 8 months. I was planned to work at overseas for 6 months from January. we didn’t talk much during that period of time because I know he work really hard and long hours( at least 8 hours a day sometimes 12 hours),I texted him every 2 days or 3 days and he barely replied. He broke up with me said because of a lack of common interest and culture crash. we were in a really long distance relationship.
So after two weeks of her being very ver unsure, she broke up. She said she has deep fwwling but there are reasons she will not tell me. I took a week of spontaneous vacation, came back and demanded she shouöd at least tell me the reason she broke up. After a lot if convincing she toöd me it was just little things she never wanted to talk about and that was why shw went cold. So now i am moved away (already signed a job contract), and i still want her back. I did 2 weeks of NC until she messaged me happy christmas (i didn‘t respond, i didn’t know how), the next day she texted that she understands now that her lack of communication was the reason and that she hurt mw deeply by this but that she stays with the decision. I didn’t respond to that either, wxcept after 10 more days i just texted „i know you feel sorry. Merry christmas and happy new year.“ and left it at that. 2 weeks later i sent the elefant in the room text. She responded that i don’t need to be sorry, she didn’t act mature and stuff, but ahe made the decision now and that means however we proceed with each other is now my call and that she hopes i have a good new start away (i don’t, honestly, everything was planned for the two of us, and the other stuff falls apart rn, but that’s unrelated) and she wants to hear from me sometime.
Long Distance often causes a couple to lose attraction, lose connection or betray of trust. If you and your ex girlfriend broke up due to long distance; it’s probably because one of the above reasons happened. If that’s the case; you will have to apply the tactics mentioned above for each case.
This article is for anyone looking to get an ex back. May it be your ex girlfriend, ex boyfriend, ex wife, ex husband or an ex fiancé. May it be a straight relationship or a gay relationship. If you just broke up, and are thinking about winning your ex back, you will find this article helpful and enlightening.
Thank you Ryan. There was a discussion, when I was expressing worries about how negative she sounded and her repeating how bad she is which I strongly disagreed with, and a discussion about where to live together that she started, which was all strange. I asked her what made her feel inadequate and she repeated that it’s just how a relationship makes her feel, and that she can’t have this discussion, and basically broke contact. Very sudden, very extreme, and very bizarre and I’m left with questions and I feel very confused. I asked her if this is about someone else, she strongly denied it, and I hope she speaks the truth, because I trusted her completely, and this would be a major disappointment in her and in people in general…I wish she could tell me what this is really about.
To be frank, it’s hard to fully go into the friendzone if you were once her ex. If feelings could be sparked once, it can be sparked again although the second time may be a little harder. My suggestion would be to build some form of friendship back up with her first and re-create the spark with her slowly, and trying to hint or get her excited at the fact that you’re possibly returning in a couple of months. See how she responds from there.
Anywho, last Tuesday (the last time that I saw him in person), he blurted out once again that he feels selfish for needing so much alone time, suddenly needing to travel (he decided on a whim to book a trip to France by himself for a week in April), not giving me “what I need” sexually (sorry to bring it up, but our “intimacy” has suffered a bit over the recent weeks – not the frequency but the quality, and yet I haven’t been upset by it one bit) – which I have already picked up on because he’s been so “in his head”, etc . He mentioned that he likes being committed to me and that he wasn’t trying to break up with me, but that sometimes it still hurts to know that his 16 year marriage has ended. I told him that I was more than fulfilled by the man he was and the way that he loved me, and that I saw all of his struggles as an opportunity for me to lend support and an escape as well as act as a symbol of the new and happy life that he gets to establish for himself on his terms. I asked him not to decide what I deserve, that it was my decision, and that I was perfectly happy. I understand completely that a man who doesn’t want to be in an unhealthy marriage anymore and who doesn’t ever want for or plan a reconciliation could still be mourning the end of that partnership, especially with three kids involved. I have always allowed for and respected that grief. That night we tried to – well you know – and it “didn’t work” (something that he’d dealt with in his marriage as well as with the two women that he dated before me and something that our openness and connection had temporarily rectified at the beginning of the relationship, but had started to become more common lately), and I do admit that I was visibly frustrated and a little quiet afterward because I knew that there was something on his mind and it frustrated me to know that. Things were a bit “awkward” going to sleep. The next morning, we parted ways with an “I’ll miss you” from him, and things seemed alright. Thursday evening, after a normal day of talking via text (granted, I had to text him first around noon – out of the norm, and he wouldn’t respond for a couple of hours – out of the norm as well) he sent me a message at 8:00pm that said “Hi you. You deserve to know that I’m going dark for the rest of the night, no phone or text. I’m okay, know that. I just don’t want you to worry. I have unresolved issues that I have to sort out…I’m sorry I’m so broken :. I am not with anyone or doing anything specific, it’s not about that. Just me being alone with my thoughts. I’ll text you tomorrow, hope you’re having a good night!” I texted back the most calm, objective, supportive, understanding, and mature message that I could, and then proceeded to panic. I have been living on cucumbers, hot tea, and cigarettes ever since. I felt in my gut that something was seriously not right. The next day he texted me once at 9:30pm with “Hi you…sorry I’ve kind of disappeared on you, crazy day. Getting the girls in bed and I’m going to go to sleep too, I’m tired. I hope your day is going well and that you have a fun Friday night!!!”. I tried to respond as supportive and “girlfriendy” as I could, all the while breaking apart inside. We didn’t speak all of yesterday (Saturday) or today until I finally bit the bullet in the evening and sent him an email (trying to still give him space) saying “Thinking of you and wishing you four a wonderful weekend, xo K”. I got an email a half hour later that said “Hi you, so sorry that I’ve dropped off of the planet, girls and I had a busy weekend. I’m hoping that we can see each other sometime tomorrow, maybe lunch or afternoon time?” (No I love you or I miss you since Tuesday, for the record)
There is a big difference in acknowledging your problems rather than allowing them to control you. Knowing you have anger feeling in the objective sense will help you to control your emotions in the better way.
Most abandoned men have no clue as to the demoralized state a woman’s heart reaches in order for her to destroy something she wanted so much. All a man knows is that his wife is mad again and acting more irrationally than ever. A departing wife is typically angry, but feels driven to her distressed condition and extreme decision. She is escaping something that poses a horrible threat to her.
Make sure you sit down with your ex face-to-face to discuss how things will change. An in-person conversation may give you a tiny glimpse into your future as a renewed couple. “You have to be attuned to what they are doing in response to you,” says Dr. Davila. For example, if you’re chatting about how the two of you will communicate better and your partner keeps interrupting or blaming you, then you know the second time around won’t be any different. Actions always speak volumes in comparison to words.
We were about to get married, I was getting the stone shaped for the ring, then she broke up with me. I’m not sure what exactly the reason is, because there are many. I’m a jealous person, and I will not apologize for being one, her attitude has always pushed me to say unnecessary things, like another guy hugs/kisses her and so on, I’m pretty sure that most men are like me, I am not OK with my women sharing her body with another even if she thinks it’s innocent. Few days before we breakup, she went on a trip with her sister and friends and there was a guy with his gf Who used to live with her sister and her sister’s husband, that guy has crossed the line many times, I always warned her about him and she felt upset when I talked like that about him and always defended him and justified his actions. Eventually, he started going in the hot tub while she was their with his gf and he sat next to her!!!!. He joined them and started touching her while knows that she’s shy. I got mad at my fiancee and said unnecessary things. It made her so mad and she went in her room in the hotel and cried, then he followed her and saw her crying and hugged her. Then, she vented with him and he told her to breakup with me and she did!!!!!!!! This stranger we barely know did this to me!!! I’ve done so many stupid things to change her mind, even I was so close to hurt myself, you know. Anyways, we stopped talking for couple days then she contacted me while she was in the hot tub with her sister, him, his gf. But, all the sudden she freaked out because he touched her Va****… And yet, she justified for him and said it was an accident. I tried to act cool about it but I was burning inside. Now she doesn’t wanna get back at all and admits that she has some feelings, yet, still saying it’s impossible to get back together and it is over… I really don’t know what to do, we broke up more than 2 weeks ago and we both are miserable. I followed your EBP tips and started no contact but she kept contacting and I fail and talk to her. I’m writing this long comment after I did what I think is a huge mistake, I sent her “I love you” and a kiss emoji on whatsapp. I guess she saw it and pretending like she didn’t. I see nothing in this god damn planet but being together again and continue our beautiful dream. I can’t move on, can’t stop thinking, I failed to fulfill the EBP requirements, should I start over?? WHAT SHOULD I DO??!!!
I absolutely connect with a lot of what you said in the article about working through your feelings and trying to actually make positive changes that will help you in the long run, no matter what happens.
Even if you think you are confident at this point, you should still strive to become a better version of yourself. You should still work on things that matter to you, including your passions and your life goals.
I keep checking his instagram & he started following all of the girks that like him or think he’s cute & now I saw he followed his ex he was with before me. He said that what they had isn’t even a thing & he never want anything to do with her because she hurt him bad, she cheated on him while they were together. I don’t know if he’s doing this to get me jealous or what ? I just wanna message him & ask for him back but that’ll be the wrong thing to do right ? I know he has too much pride to chase after me so idk what’s gonna happen …
In order to get your ex back and to tilt the balance of power in your favor sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and to implement a radio silence. A no contact period of at least 3 weeks is the best way to shift the dynamic in your favor when yur ex is stuck in their ways or when they want absolutely nothing to do with you.
Dating again to re-kindle the spark immediately after the breakup doesn’t usually work well, because not enough time has passed since then for real changes to have been made for fresh feelings to develop. Additionally, old habits would still remain, and it could easily turn into a situation where you face all the problems of a relationship, but not the full benefits of it since you guys are only ‘dating’. I suggest taking some time off to actually focus on yourself since he is doing the same, and gauge the situation again later on. [otp_overlay]