A few days later she got in contact with me and I arranged another date. Breakfast was all I could do due to me leaving for home. It went well. So well, that she wanted to see me once more before I left. On this date she mentioned that she would be in my city in April, and that we should get drinks when she’s there. Once again, no signs that she wanted to be kissed during this date either. She even said “I know you want to kiss me, but it’s not going to happen” and I was kind of bummed. I followed her to the interstate and before I got on it I decided to try my luck and I told her to pull over. She said “No, I know you want to kiss me and it’s not happening” so I kept my cool. On the way home, she called me and I mentioned to her that she could come out to my place to visit me next weekend. As soon as I said this, she got very angry and told me that the dates were just to “keep our friendship” and that we aren’t dating anymore. She went on to tell me she had already slept with another guy. I kept my composure as best as I could but needless to say this really confused me. Where did I go wrong?

Start by not contacting him any further. Apply No contact to give yourself some distance from the situation and to give him space. Spend this time to work on yourself and improve your life. Right now he is dating someone else, and you should not interfere, because it will lead to him thinking you’re desperate and start getting annoyed or resentful towards you. If you really want to be with him, you’ll have to wait until he contacts you first, or if they break up. Doing anything now related to him will only push him further away from you.

So my ex broke up with me a little over a month ago after a 3 months relationship & several months of talking & getting to know each other really well (starting in the summer but wasn’t a fling). He is 24, I am 21, we felt serious, he would mention marriage. We had many common goals & other things & he loved that. Commitment/marriage seemed serious to him, he was all about values & didn’t like relationships where he wasn’t sure about marriage (I was a little hesitant about it). I was getting out of a breakup as well & vented to him a lot in the first 1-2 months/I mentioned the ex sometimes which he didn’t like & looking back I shouldn’t have done.

You’re overthinking it.. The nc rule is for you to focus in yourself, so that when you initiate and try to rebuild rapport, you’ll be thinking rationally instead of being emotional. We only recommend up to three tries after nc.. after that if it doesn’t go well, that means it would be better to move on.

He broke up with me over a month ago and i am still upset. I know he is not seeing anyone else and he knows i’m not either. When we broke up he told me he wants to be happy (he’s very depressed). He told me that he loves me way more than i love him and it’s just difficult to deal with that because i think that 2 people who love each other should be with together. we have been texting and it’s either very short or very long and we also have our location on for each other. we were together for almost 15 months and i see a future with him and he is fully aware that i would do anything to have him back. i want to see him so badly but i don’t think he wants to see me. He’s going through a lot of stuff like depression and he gets lost in his thoughts and this caused him to think i was cheating or lying to him or that i didn’t love him. I think cheating is disgusting and i’d never lie to him. He also can’t get over certain things…. such as him not being my first sexual partner which bothers me because i am a year older than him and it just bothers me that he doesn’t understand. all i want is for him to be happy but i also want him to be happy with me and i am so stuck. i asked him if he would ever come back and he said he doesn’t know. everyone keeps telling me to focus on myself and i can’t because i’m only focused on him and i really have hopes that we will get back together.

She got a feeling that I cheated or betrayed her. But I haven’t done anything wrong or insincere to her except hiding or telling lie. But that is most important to her but its normal to me. But I’m ready to change. My company is going thru a financial struggle and I need this relationship back to set right everything. I need her back at any cost for the rest of my life. We are meeting every day at the office and having normal and official communications directly and over the phone also. But she shows no intimacy to any of these communications and she told that she is not even thinking about me when I’m away. Need your sincere help and advice to her back.

I’m 18 years old, my ex boyfriend lust left me and started dating another girl. She’s be in horrible to me and I miss him so much. It makes if worse that we were together since we were 12 years old.. I need help..

So my ex broke up with me because I mentioned loving someone and they broke my heart I know I shouldn’t of did that but he got mad and he said that someone liked him and before I hung up he sounded like he was cheering I kinda don’t want to get back together him him but I do still have him so much and it’s been hard he actually was a first boyfriend. Lately he seems upset I want him to be happy but I don’t know what to do and I ride the bus with him he’s going to high school next year. The funny thing is my whole family just started liking him now I have to tell them I broke up with him.

It takes time for people to remove negative association after a breakup and start missing their ex. You have to give it to them. Besides, you have to prove to yourself that you can live without your ex for at least 30 days. And more importantly, you have to work on yourself and become a more confident and happy person.  Unless you make a positive change in yourself, your ex will not be able to convince themselves to get back together with you.(Read more about the no contact rule here.)

Hey Ryan, so I’m not worried that she’s seeing other people, atleast not yet. She didn’t date much before me and from everything I can tell, she isn’t dating much or at all right now. She initiated the breakup and asked to still be friends, but she’s got an icy demeanor towards me just about anytime we interact. She’s said that she’s mad at me but refuses to tell me what about. Something is bothering her but she’s not telling me and I promise I’m not calling her everyday, begging her or anything like that. It’s been a couple months like this and it’s after no contact ended, how can I get her to start communicating with me?

Denver clinical psychologist Susan Heitler, Ph.D, a graduate of Harvard and NYU, is author of Power of Two, a book, a workbook, and a website that teach the communication skills that save and sustain positive relationships.  

Hi Kevin. Ive been dating this girl for 6months everything was moving perfect for us both. She fell pregnant and i proposed to her and we were engaged. She decided to have an abortion due to finacially we both wernt stable and ready. I was abit emotionally about the abortion as she was assell experiencing a life changing procedure. Things became abit difficult both of us dealing with our emotions and feelings at the time.I made the wrong regretful decision by ending it and i unfortunately didnt show her support an comfort. Its been extremely hard an difficult dealing with this whole situation. Its nearly been 2 months we nearly been separated for now.she says i need to fix my issues and become stable and she doesnt want no relationship at this stage.. which im coming to terms of and making positive changes in my life..its been just over 2 weeks i havnt contacted her until yesterday wishing her merry Christmas but no reply.. so ive just left it.. Deep down i sincerely love this girl with my entire heart and i would appreciate advice and guidience aswell as steps to reconnect with her.kind regards.

We were about to get married, I was getting the stone shaped for the ring, then she broke up with me. I’m not sure what exactly the reason is, because there are many. I’m a jealous person, and I will not apologize for being one, her attitude has always pushed me to say unnecessary things, like another guy hugs/kisses her and so on, I’m pretty sure that most men are like me, I am not OK with my women sharing her body with another even if she thinks it’s innocent. Few days before we breakup, she went on a trip with her sister and friends and there was a guy with his gf Who used to live with her sister and her sister’s husband, that guy has crossed the line many times, I always warned her about him and she felt upset when I talked like that about him and always defended him and justified his actions. Eventually, he started going in the hot tub while she was their with his gf and he sat next to her!!!!. He joined them and started touching her while knows that she’s shy. I got mad at my fiancee and said unnecessary things. It made her so mad and she went in her room in the hotel and cried, then he followed her and saw her crying and hugged her. Then, she vented with him and he told her to breakup with me and she did!!!!!!!! This stranger we barely know did this to me!!! I’ve done so many stupid things to change her mind, even I was so close to hurt myself, you know. Anyways, we stopped talking for couple days then she contacted me while she was in the hot tub with her sister, him, his gf. But, all the sudden she freaked out because he touched her Va****… And yet, she justified for him and said it was an accident. I tried to act cool about it but I was burning inside. Now she doesn’t wanna get back at all and admits that she has some feelings, yet, still saying it’s impossible to get back together and it is over… I really don’t know what to do, we broke up more than 2 weeks ago and we both are miserable. I followed your EBP tips and started no contact but she kept contacting and I fail and talk to her. I’m writing this long comment after I did what I think is a huge mistake, I sent her “I love you” and a kiss emoji on whatsapp. I guess she saw it and pretending like she didn’t. I see nothing in this god damn planet but being together again and continue our beautiful dream. I can’t move on, can’t stop thinking, I failed to fulfill the EBP requirements, should I start over?? WHAT SHOULD I DO??!!!

The quiz below measures how trusting you are. It is based on a “trust scale” developed by psychologists at the University of Waterloo in Canada. Think of someone with whom you have a close relationship, then answer as honestly as possible about how much you agree or disagree with each of the following statements.

Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

Yes if you haven’t done NC before, and have still been in contact with him through the 3 months, it might be better to actually proceed with the No Contact rule to separate yourself from the situation.

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This tactic is a little like flirting. The key to compliments are to work them in during your conversation over text. Knowing when to slip them in will depend on your gut feeling and the context of the conversation you are having. Here is a good example of a great compliment:

You’ll have to decide if you still want him back. Since you’ve been on no contact, complete it first. It would seem like he does miss you to some extent so you could always contact him again when you feel ready.

Broke up with your boyfriend? Wondering if he still has feelings for you? Wondering if you two should get back together? What are the chances that you two can salvage the relationship and is it worth it? Remember that no situation is impossible, I know from the loads of e-mails I receive that people are getting back together every day. This ex boyfriend quiz will help you figure out how he feels. [otp_overlay]