Are you broken up with a significant other, but can’t move on? Are you regretting your breakup? Do you think this is the one that got away? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get your ex back?
Let the conversation naturally progress. If your ex is doing great and reports that he or she is seeing other people, you might decide not to waste your time trying to convince him or her to get back together. But if your ex seems to harbor feelings for you, you can gradually bring up the possibility of giving things another try.
Avoid using the word “but.” “I am sorry, but…” means “I am not sorry.” Also, do not say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if you were offended.” This makes it seem like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology.
If he “guessed” that you cheated on him. And instead of talking to you like an adult he decided to leave you and date other girls then it means he is very immature and you should stay away from him. Even if you two get back together, what is to stop him from “guessing” something else about you and leave again?
I’ve been using no contact which was so helpful even though I broke it twice, once to ask if he wanted to hook up and once more asking to hang out before he left to the new city, I got “I’m really busy but maybe” back both times.
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
Then have a conversation with him. Tell him that you don’t want to repeat the past relationship again and you want to start taking things slow. That means you should not have sex for at least two weeks after you start dating. Since your past relationship was only based on sex, it’s best to avoid having sex for a while so you don’t go back to the same old patterns. Only meet him outside and go on dates with him. Take your time to figure out if a relationship with him can work. And if he is not willing to take it slow, you should be willing to walk away (he will eventually come around when he realizes you are strong and he can’t make you go back to the same old relationship pattern.)
After a healthy and happy relationship for 10 months, he told me his ex wife wants to get back with him. I asked where does this leave me within this equation, he wouldn’t respond, So I asked him does he love me, he said no he does not love me and had never made empty promises nor used the word love! I broke it off and now it’s been 7 weeks without contact! I was hoping he would realise my absence and hold onto the good memories we had together. Will he contact me as I am following the no contact rule as you advise
While this change was certainly challenging, I think it was beneficial for us overall. We each had our own space in which to think. For me, I thought a lot about what kind of person I was, what kind of person I wanted for a partner, and what kind of person he was. I thought about our conflicts, unspoken problems and how we got to a point of such animosity. And to be honest, I cried; I cried a lot. But I also believe that sometimes we have to live through the bad to get to the good. I was able to take these introspections and lessons and go forward with stronger steps about who I was and what I wanted.
It would depend on the context of how the relationship had ended and the experiences you went through together. Bear in mind that a relationship with your best friend is very different from actually being friends with that person, and if the relationship was meaningful enough, there’s a likelihood that his new girlfriend may be a rebound. He just may not realize it yet, or has been subconsciously suppressing his doubts so far. If he still feels that he can’t face you in specific occasions, there is a possibility he isn’t over you, and that makes the new relationship seem even more like a rebound. However, just take note that many factors would come into play, and you could refer to them in this article.
Thanks for sharing your story. I feel like, due to your histories, distance is really necessary. Don’t let the emotional floodgates run rampant. Let her miss you and continue focussing on your personal development and the rest will fall in to place.
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I broke up with her last week after she got in my face about our problems. I’m doing the no-contact, but isn’t the lying about an ex (her first love of 5 years) to my face, enough of a reason to end it and NOT even consider going back??