This is another legitimate reason for a breakup. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion it says more about of his lack of character (unless you were really boring but I doubt that) than anything you actually did. Luckily, seeming boring is quite easy to fix!
Hi, my boyfriend of almost 1 year broke up with me just a week ago. It was very hard for both of us, as I love him with all my heart and he seemed genuinely upset about it too. we didn’t have a fight or anything, he just said he thinks i love him more than he loves me and isn’t sure if this is what he wants. when we left the place where we broke up, we were both very sad. yesterday i bumped into him, and he was very nice to me, we even chatted for a while about our school work. he just seemed very casual, relaxed and happy to see me. i plan on not contacting him for a while, but is this relationship already a lost cause if he seems all casual and treating me as a friend only a week after he left me? does this show that he actually never really cared enough about me?
Agreeing to everything your ex says is not going to bring them back. In fact, it’s only going to make your ex respect you less. Nobody wants to be with someone they don’t respect. And even if they do come back, they will leave shortly realizing they have no respect for you as a person.
Oh, if your relationship was less than 3 months old, then you should reduce no contact to about two weeks. Perhaps, learn a bit of communication skills during this time so you can make the relationship about something more than sex when you get back in touch. Also, before you contact him again, make sure he is worth it and you have the right attitude about this. After all, you don’t want to invest too much time and energy into someone with whom you had a shallow relationship based on only sex.
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So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state. One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. However, in order for that to happen you need to take a few actions first.
Having said that, though, both partners can certainly contribute to infidelity. It’s like, if you’re happy with your job, and a headhunter calls, you don’t even talk to them…but if you’re unhappy, the stage is set for talking and walking.
It would depend on the context of how the relationship had ended and the experiences you went through together. Bear in mind that a relationship with your best friend is very different from actually being friends with that person, and if the relationship was meaningful enough, there’s a likelihood that his new girlfriend may be a rebound. He just may not realize it yet, or has been subconsciously suppressing his doubts so far. If he still feels that he can’t face you in specific occasions, there is a possibility he isn’t over you, and that makes the new relationship seem even more like a rebound. However, just take note that many factors would come into play, and you could refer to them in this article.
What should I need to do ? I am on day 8 of no contact it’s really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We’ve been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due to long distance tho we’ve been seeing each other in webcam. We had some argument he keeps telling we are going to see each other in person but he never make plan. I find out Jan 1st this year he traveled to Dubai to spend vacation with Indonesian girl.(before that incident I caught him sexting with that girl, that Indonesian lady asking him to send her a porn he said they haven’t see each other yet and the girl was virgin he said it was nothing ugh I’m so stupid to believe)
My name is Timea and I am 21 years old and had a long-distance relationship for 7 months. I am really glad that I have found your site, the NC wasn’t so lonely and hard as I was expecting thanks to your advice. You helped me a lot and gave amazing tips, that gave me unexpected results, so thank you very much!
Even if you weren’t clingy, no contact is still something you should apply as you the relationship ended on a sour note, and he may harbor negative emotions towards you right now. NC will help give both parties some space to let go of those emotions before attempting anything again.
There’s a likelihood that he may be affected by the break up as much as you, but won’t show it because he doesn’t want you to see him as being weak. If you said that the break up was just as difficult for him as it was for you, then he probably hasn’t moved on completely nor has he lost feelings for you. Also, the reason he gave you seems to come from a lack of self-esteem, and can’t accept the fact that he’s less into you than the other way around. Perhaps you could start off as being friends and letting him develop the feelings or take charge this time.
Remember, your ex will not make you happy, only you can make yourself happy. And the only way you can do it is by understanding yourself, loving yourself, appreciating what you have, understanding your purpose in life and pursuing it.
A lot of times this can be happening but you won’t have any clue. Men aren’t the best communicators especially when it comes to breaking bad news. The last thing they want is to hurt you so they will just break up with you and give you some general reason. Luckily again this can be addressed!
It will cure any phobias you may have developed- Women who haven’t been in a relationship for a long time may feel a little worried about meeting someone new. Don’t worry at all. Just focus on having fun with someone and making new friendships.
I don’t know if he will ever be back. He broken up with me 2 months ago due to many quarrels and pressure and he wanted his space and i did not gave him. I regretted and did ask for a second chance and he says he can never turn back anymore and give that second chance he says when a knot is broken its broken. Kept in contact with him but seems like he is not really interested in me anymore so i tried to distant myself by not texting him and borther about him. Its the 10 day today and still nothing from him. I have a blog and he seems like he has been reading my blog almost everyday. I mostly updated about missing him but stopped talking about us ever since i stop contacted him. What should i do.. Will he come back again..
If you ever, even for a second, doubt my love for you, speak to me immediately. Don’t just sit there and start assuming things. Don’t just sit there and wallow in misery of our broken love. Don’t resort to these unreasonable measures. Just ask me. It’s my job to remind you that I do in fact love you every single day.
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Alice, Your comment highlights a vital point. Upgrading skills only works if BOTH partners are willing to make skill upgrades. If only the partner of the abuser is making changes, the odds of success are close to zero. Worse, becoming more assertive with a violent partner can be downright dangerous.
So, the big take away that I want you to get from this section is that your ultimate goal assuming this process works for you is that you are discarding your old relationship and creating a new one that is stronger.
Although there weren’t any major issues like him being destructive to your self-esteem, there wasn’t much passion either. You were two people who crossed paths but didn’t change – or rock – each other’s world.