Email Can Make Good Words Go Bad
In today’s electronic age, some people talk more via text or email than in person.
This trend though has not only progressed in our social and work lives, but also in our personal lives and relationships.
Hopefully you know the pitfalls of that as they have been widely discussed. There is no body language or inflection of your voice to help accurately reflect your mood and meanings.
The benefit, though, to “discussing” things with your spouse or partner via email or text can be three fold, and why I suspect it is used:
- More so with email than text, you have a written record of what was said. While this can obvious work on your behalf, it can also work against you. Remember, too (especially guys!) that proving you are right about something often wins the battle and loses the war.
- You can carefully weigh out what you are going to say before you say it. Be slow to hit that enter key! Discussing (or arguing) via email or text is great for people who have a habit of speaking before thinking. That said, remember that when you re-read that email for the 10th time you are still reading it from the perspective of knowing what you INTENDED to say. You need to try to read it as though you are your partner and may be pre-disposed to take what you say another way. So be careful in what you say, remember, there is a record of it.
- While the exchange of electronic words can become an argument, you know it won’t erupt into a full blown physical shouting match. You can control what you say, how you say it (avoid a lot of CAPS [shouting], exclamation points or harsh words. You also control HOW QUICKLY you respond. Don’t keep them waiting too long or they may confront you in person, but it does give the opportunity to keep things from heating up too quickly.
Every Coin Has Two Sides
Just as every coin has two sides and every story has two sides, there are pros and cons to using email or text to discuss something with your spouse, partner or even pal.
The downside can be exactly what was stated above, and that is that you do not have the option of facial expressions, a soft touch, a low, controlled voice as opposed to a heightening pitch and volume of an oncoming argument.
Emoticons (smiley face characters and such) can be a help in trying to convey your meaning and mood. Though if you have spent any time on online discussion forums and boards you will probably realize that some people totally ignore the “softening” of words with emoticons and start to argue back.
I would suggest using discretion and using electronic communication both sparingly and on a case by case basis.
A healthy relationship relies on person to person interaction between two people. God gave us body language and voice inflection for a reason; it’s best to take advantage of all tools at your disposal.
For further assistance in healing relationships I suggest you take a few minutes to watch this short video (it’s free to watch). That guy has helped a LOT of couples rekindle a loving relationship.
P.S. – If this article has helped you or you think it might help someone you know, please share socially – links below for your convenience – thanks!