Hi thanks for the great advice! Also it’s hard with the NC rule due to we work together. Just today I talked with her for the first time in 4 days only because I have to at work. Although I said hello and merry Christmas, it was still strictly only work related . She was very dry with me even though it was only work related.
I was keeping some financial or company things hidden only because not to make her sad on that. But on many occasions when she comes to know about it she will burst out and will become so violent and try to break from me and the relationship. I had given oath many times to her that I won’t lie or hide anything from her. But on many occasions due to fear of losing her, I kept hidden and lied many times to her. in last December one such thing happened and finally, she left me. nearly after 1 year, i managed to get her back as my employee in my company. on condition, i will not pressure her into the former relationship but only employee and max a normal friend but not intimate. We were had a lot of discussions apologies, but nothing worked out. now she is with me for my family as she needed there to run the company. she is not happy if care here more and if showed much affection. But she is very normal to me now.
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My girlfriend and I were together for a year and 2 months and she kept repeating, daily, that this is the best thing in her life, and we’re meant together. We are very close. I’ve personally never known a person I want to be with more than her, and she expressed the same in visits, writing letters, and texts. Around Christmas, while she was staying with her family (she lives in the adjacent country but we travel constantly to see each other), and after a small discussion about where she might get a job and where we would live together, she turned completely and said (on new year’s eve) she can’t do a relationship anymore, she wants to be alone, that she’s a toxic person to me (she isn’t), and never wants a relationship again, ever, with anyone. She did not explain the details why making such a heavy decision, she said she feels inadequate, and that I shouldn’t contact her any more if I want her to stay. I am very confused. Now it’s been twenty days since we last had any contact and it’s killing me, I miss her and I wish we could talk. I have no idea what to do.
If you guys have been broken up for about 2 months since, and she still has not replied you,you might have to consider the fact that she has moved on. If you’re prepared to wait it out and chase her again, then I suggest giving her a little more time before you try reconnecting once again.
One additional thought. You might want to check out my post on infusing your interactions with positivity. It’s not just moths that are drawn to light. See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/10-ways-radiate-positivity-and-be-attractive. Maximize the positives in your interactions, delete the negatives like criticism or irritated emotions, and the odds will be likely to shift in your favor.
Having said that, though, both partners can certainly contribute to infidelity. It’s like, if you’re happy with your job, and a headhunter calls, you don’t even talk to them…but if you’re unhappy, the stage is set for talking and walking.
Hi Ryan, dude where are you? I really need your help. I’m really trying to not a mistake here man. It’s been maybe half a month since the NC.. it’s been working like a charm.. couples days ago my ex sees me at work and days I looked good and like I’ve changed..also that I was happy. She text me that same day saying how much she missed my presence in her life, how she missed her best friend. I didn’t respond and then she text me a photo saying remember the good times.. also said she was going thru her phone deleting pics of us and didn’t know which to keep. I then replied I miss you too. We started chatting back in forth and remembering all the good things. She texted me all night. Then the next day says she loves me and misses.. I tell her too. We talked a lot about how much we loved one another. Don’t know if that was a right move ..yesterday she sends me a message at work that was a song. “Baby while were young , let’s do what we want, I want you, you’re mine and I don’t care who’s know it, I’m down for you” just a few things she sent me! I’m confused because after work I waited to talk with her but she ran out quickly and I’m sure when went to meet up with someone else. She didn’t go home last night. She also didn’t text me anymore.. so confusing what’s going on.. not sure what to do or expect! Please help dude! I really want her back and I can’t tell if I messed up the NC rule. She definitely has been seeing someone else lately. Please write me back soon.. she wants to me up tonight to go eat. Don’t know if I should go
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Remember when your ex left you? They thought of you as a needy, clingy and desperate person with little to no self-respect. After not being in contact with you for a while, they must be wondering what the heck happened to you. They will slowly start to forget that image of yours (the needy desperate one) and start remembering the things they liked about you. They will start remembering the things that they found attractive in you.
5. Go out on a date. This is absolutely essential and if you are reading this, then I will recommend that you definitely go out on a few dates before ending no contact with your ex. It’s absolutely imperative for you to get some perspective right now and meeting new people is the best way to do it.
In common with some tests featured on this site which were developed to identify actual symptoms consistent with particular mental disorders, this test has been constructed with a forced-choice semantic interval question design which is intended to avoid the pitfalls of central tendency bias as well as acquiescence bias.
Communication is what makes or breaks a relationship. Lack of communication is the source of all problems between couples and can have negative consequences as soon as you stop sharing your ideas and opinions. On the other hand, couples that communicate effectively are involved in conflicts more rarely, and when they do have an argument, they use it as an opportunity to grow and find out something new about each other. Does your relationship need to alter its communication style? Take this quiz to find out!
Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!
Thanks a lot for your advice. I’m just wondering if you maybe make it sound too easy by saying “5 steps to getting an ex back”… in my experience it can take months of work and still you may not win them back. Anyway thanks for the interesting read… Good luck all!
For years Peter had reacted to Paulette’s complaints about him with defensiveness. When he did allow himself to hear information about what he was doing that troubled his wife, he’d get mad at himself. Listening to her had escalated his agitation and distress instead of leading to learning. Now Peter decided he’d better address her concerns, beginning by writing out a list of all he could recall. “Information is power,” he reminded himself to ease the sting of shame and guilt.
You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.(Read more about having the right mindset after no contact is over)
This free interactive, science-based quiz will help you determine whether or not it will be possible to get back together with your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend. This quiz is based on a wealth of academic research and has been proven extremely accurate.
If your score and your partner’s score is above 80, congratulations! You are reasonably happy in your relationship. You might enjoy enhancing the strengths in your relationship. Otherwise, there is need for some improvement in your relationship.
About Pew Research Center Pew Research Center is a nonpartisan fact tank that informs the public about the issues, attitudes and trends shaping the world. It conducts public opinion polling, demographic research, media content analysis and other empirical social science research. Pew Research Center does not take policy positions. It is a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts.
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You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.
hi my ex broke up with me about a week ago, but she still lives with me, we help each other out financially until i get another job after christmas, shes going out meeting new guys now, how should i conduct the no contact rule in my situation? and what should i do whilst shes here?
I sort of cheated on him. I had a new guy right after my boyfriend broke up. But during the time me and the new guy were together, I was still in love with my boyfriend and realized he was the one I want. But it is too late now I guess. He tried to get back with me but after a few weeks broke up with me again because all his trust to me is down to zero. I love him sooooo much. I tried to make things work but eventually he broke up with me after us trying to be together again.
So I love this boy. His so sweet, cute, nice, kind and very loyal to me. He loves me to the whole grade knows it aND also the yr 9’s. (We’re yr 8 btw). And we would date but we’re not allowed in our religion. But apparently this yr (2018) when school starts he gonna move schools 🙁 and we’re not gonna see each other again. We didn’t even say goodbye to each other. Bcz his last day he was supposed to tell me everything but his bRotherham was there at the end of the day and we can’t talk. We’re always shy to tlk. And I wouldn’t stop crying this whole time what should I do help me???
when she came back for the Xmas/new year, we saw, she asked me to bring over food and drinks on Xmas day, I did, I kissed her but lightly, and said our good nights, cause I didn’t want to push it far.
http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/date-ideas.jpg 785 1280 Jessica Raymond http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/LoveLearningsLogo2.png Jessica Raymond2017-08-31 23:25:042018-01-13 14:25:26Date Ideas That Will Make Anyone Crave More
thank you! i agree, but he keeps saying he needs time and space and as of right now, he thinks too much has happened between us that can’t be erased. i was going through a hard time and that negativity may have brought him down, but he never told me how he felt until he ended things so i never had the chance to fix that. i’m hoping giving him this time and space he wants will make him realize it, but do you think it may just be too far gone in his mind? i really want a second chance since now i know what his problems with me were, i see how easily fixable they are. i just don’t know how to show him that!
At the same time, in most abuse situations that I have worked with it is important for the partner also to learn to talk cooperatively. If the partner is sustaining needlessly provocative dialogue habits, that’s a big mistake.
Oh, if your relationship was less than 3 months old, then you should reduce no contact to about two weeks. Perhaps, learn a bit of communication skills during this time so you can make the relationship about something more than sex when you get back in touch. Also, before you contact him again, make sure he is worth it and you have the right attitude about this. After all, you don’t want to invest too much time and energy into someone with whom you had a shallow relationship based on only sex.
So here’s my situation. I’ve had a relationship for the past 3.5 years. For a long time prior to those years she had a huge crush on me, but i never really did anything with it. Even still we got together. During the relationship i never really felt i was truly in love with her, at least i thought so. But i also need to mention that i was smoking weed on a daily basis. (She hated that) Which resulted in me not to be able to express my feelings in the right way, or even to be having’ feelings. During this time i was unemployed and living in her house pretty much rent-free, and even still she was the sweetest girl in the world for me. (make’s me sick to my stomach even thinking about that now) I was a really selfish guy over the years, never surprised her or anything like that and have been taking’ her for granted During the entire relationship. Never really considered her feelings. (Again, sick to my stomach) So due to text messages she started building a emotionally relationship with some guy she met a bar way back before our relationship. Can’t really blame her for that giving the fact i was emotionally unavailable due to smoking weed. It always stayed with text messaging she claims and i believe her. This lasted from May to August. I forgave her. Last September we’ve been on holiday together, for here it was a sort of last attempt to save our relationship. Which i didn’t knew at the time. So i continued in my own selfish ways, and continued smoking weed. She was slipping right from under my nose and i didn’t even noticed. After the holiday we’ve stayed together until November 10th which is when she dumped me. Again, cant blame her, thinking back i am surprised she even last this long with me. Since then i have stopped smoking weed, cant even stand the smell of it, got a job, and starting to express my emotions again. Needless to say that i want her back, in fact i feel like im in love with her. She says its to late, that she really would want it but that her feelings for me has changed. However, she does keep contacting me, even send some nudes and stuff like that but still don’t want te be in a relationship anymore. Also does she really badly wants to stay friends and gets really upset if i suggest to brake contact, just because i cant handle this form of contact we are having right now, simply because i want her back so badly. Do think NC will do the trick? I’ve been trying it 2 times already but never got past 2/3 days as she keeps calling/texting me and i feel bad for her and cave. And its hard for me as well of course. Sorry for my English, im from Europe.
Notice how I didn’t specify if this friend was a male or female. You just planted a seed of doubt in your ex boyfriends head and now he is going to wonder if you saw a romantic movie with a friend or with a date.
http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/man-pays.jpg 853 1280 Jessica Raymond http://www.lovelearnings.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/LoveLearningsLogo2.png Jessica Raymond2017-09-21 07:17:122017-12-02 08:45:103 Reasons It’s Not Cool to Let Men Pay For Everything