I knew something was a missed but she wouldn’t admit to anything until we communicated via text. She said she felt insecure, afraid, and confused as regards my overseas studies and my lack of time spent with her. Further, she told me she’s no longer happy being in a relationship with me. A few days later, I met her up and broke up with her. She cried a lot and as I walked her back to her place, she gave me a hug and told me she wants sometime to think over the entire situation and that we should not break up at this point. I agreed to it.

Ah so you had a sneaking suspicion but were proven wrong. This is bad for you for a couple of reasons. First off, your boyfriend surely will feel worried about incurring your wrath whenever they want to do something. Secondly, it makes your ex feel like you never trusted them. Luckily, you can work on this and prove to him that you are no longer the person who suspects him every time he goes out (without you.)

It is because you can’t get a hundred percent guarantee that such issue will never happen again. If you think that you still want to get her back and be able to tolerate the issue you once had, then maybe it is alright to give it a go.

And like I said many times you have done nothing wrong. Having ambition to achieve your goals does not make you seem like you’re in your own bubble in fact it’s one of the things I like most about you. It shows much determination and that’s an attractive quality. And you have it wrong in the sense you would have always achieved what you have already, having someone to share it with is the bonus. Just remember your life started without me, your dreams were there before me, everything in your life was there before me. You had it all to begin with and it was complete, I’m just an add on/an option if you will but with out me you are still complete.

even after I asked her if it was over, she didn’t give me a solid firm yes..but when she then went home I said that it is what it is, and take care jada jada jada. After it’s cooled off we can be friends, but for now we need both some space.

But before you get behind the wheel and start driving full-throttle in the direction of back-together-ville, you must take a good time to gauge if what you are feeling is merely an offshoot of the fresh pangs of breakup-itis or whether there’s a REAL reason to want your to get your ex-girlfriend back. If the honest answers to these questions steer you in her direction, then forge ahead! The only thing you need is the route-map, with directions to the destination of ‘getting your ex-girlfriend back.’

Thoughts about the relationship will keep coming in the mind. This is very normal. But the real question is whether we let these thoughts affect us in a negative way. The nature of the mind is to dwell on past pleasurable experiences unless it has something higher to cling onto. Thus, it’s important to have a higher source of happiness.

Your indecision was rife throughout your letter and I found myself wanting to know a bit more about your early life – were your decisions validated? Did you grow up feeling you could make decisions for yourself? Does your ex- girlfriend tap into something – does she remind you of a family member whom you learned you had to be responsible for or could not be honest with?

Yes, my roommate has seen me naked, and I understand how, from the outside, that seems like something you just don’t get over. But it also means that I have no qualms coming home and immediately stripping to my underwear — which I do so often that Katie has joked that I should join a semi-nudist colony, where all we wear is underwear and an oversized T-shirt.

Pick up new hobbies. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, now is the time to do it! You can even take that trip you’ve been thinking about, or that vacation you’ve been craving. You’re going to find that a lot of your spare time is spent thinking about your ex. Whenever you seem to find your mind wandering in her direction, do something else to keep your mind busy.