Take the time to listen. If she thought you didn’t care about her feelings before, maintain eye contact and let her talk without interrupting. You can mention something she said in the conversation a day later to show that you really do hang on to her every word.
In other words, giving in to the desires and instructions of women on an even semi-regular basis is unattractive to them, and if you were doing it, then it will have definitely been a part of the reason she dumped you.
Your ex boyfriend is thinking “I wasn’t at Sherlocks last night.” This is perfect because now he is going to read between the lines and see that you were checking out another guy that wasn’t him. Also in a way you are complimenting him. Jealousy text messages are interesting aren’t they?
On the flip side, you may be in a situation in which you should really call. If your ex-girlfriend has recently lost a loved one it is much more appropriate to call or send a condolence card than a tacky text message. Alternatively if you very seriously (and not because you’re drunk/lonely/horny) want to get back together, those sort of steps are best initiated over the phone.
Ok, so me and my ex were together for three months. He is 16 and I am 19. We are both guys. So basically we had an huge fight during New Year’s eve and broke up for two days. We decided to then to get back and try again, and then he decided that we would be better as just “friends” later on that weekend… He broke up with me because he didn’t want to cut talking with a boy he met (and kissed) during New Year’s eve… During the first the days after the break up he was acting like nothing happened or whatsover till I decided to use the whole “no contact” thing to him and then he asked to me go pick up my stuff on his house next week… So what should I do, is the any chance at all anymore or not.
My ex girlfriend and I broke up 3 days ago. Reason? I treated her like a queen, she had a 5 year old adorable daughter at the time, we got really really attached. Me and my girl were very happy a few months ago. 2 months ago she wanted marriage, kids, moving in, all that. Well I did everything for this girl, picked her kids up from school so she could get more sleep, fixed her car, took her out to dinner, told her how beautiful she was, we started to argue because I’d get pissed when she canceled important plans to do things with her friends. She did not make me a priority. I feel like I got took for a ride. When we broke up I went to her house and basically told it how it was, I did this in anger. I told her I deserve better, and that she has used me for the last time. Well I left and she texted me crap like “sorry it didn’t work out you deserve someone great” and I replied “fuck off” and basically kept that attitude for a day until I cooled up. I went out on a date last night with a girl (more attractive than her) and she knows about it and made a comment like “well that was fast”. We are meeting tomorrow to end things the right way, civil. But I want her back. Is there anything I can do?
At the same time, in most abuse situations that I have worked with it is important for the partner also to learn to talk cooperatively. If the partner is sustaining needlessly provocative dialogue habits, that’s a big mistake.
The unwritten laws of the ‘social food chain’ dictate that inferior people seek approval from superior ones, and not the other way around. Women naturally know this, and by trying to get your girl to like you more (approval seeking) using ‘nice’ behavior, you made her feel like she’s superior to you.
even after I asked her if it was over, she didn’t give me a solid firm yes..but when she then went home I said that it is what it is, and take care jada jada jada. After it’s cooled off we can be friends, but for now we need both some space.
For sure though, whatever their ultimate relationship decision, both Peter and Paulette feel out of their lifeboat and back on solid ground. The panic of a devastating waterfall ahead has been replaced by anticipation of a safer and sunnier future, whether in fact they end up together or apart.
I recommend you to go No contact with your ex girlfriend for at least 4 weeks. It is fine if your ex girlfriend contacts you. By going no contact with your ex girlfriend you will achieve three things:
Once your anger is out, you can see the actual reason behind it. You will decide on how to respond these angry feelings instead of avoiding them. If you continue ignoring your anger reasons they will continue to hunt you down and make your life easy.
Over the next month, during which you should have absolutely no contact with your ex, I will show you how to become irresistibly attractive to your ex. Then, towards the end of the month, I will reveal to you a plan for a date with your ex. During this date you will be putting off an irresistibly attractive image (if you have followed all of my advice). I will also tell you what to talk about, exactly what to say if certain things come up, and much more.
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Women can have a lot of different types of responses to a no contact rule. A common response is that they will go batsh*t crazy when you start ignoring them. While this is kind of good because it means that they still care for you deep down we also don’t want them to suffer.
Talk to her – Now that you are hanging out casually and are building a strong foundation of friendship, then it is time to invite her for a talk. Do this after you spent time together as friends, so you can finally talk about your issues in the past freely and without any anger and resentment. Discuss your history honestly. Also, talk about whether there is a nice romantic future waiting for the two of you.
ok,I successfully scaled through the no contact rule,I initiated contact,we where getting along,I texted her three times and on the third I told her “am busy we will take later” she got pissed,what should I do now?
If you still want to gather more information about how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if she has already moved on or with someone else, check out the Ex Factor Guide. It has most of the information you need to convince your ex-girlfriend that you are meant for each other and your relationship is worth giving another shot. Paired with the tips mentioned in this article, you’ll surely be successful in your attempt to winning your ex-girlfriend’s heart.
I have a friend (who wants to remain unnamed.) He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend of 5 months for some silly reason (I honestly never understood it.) Anyways, three months after their breakup she started dating a new guy. Immediately my friend called me up and wanted her back. He didn’t realize what he had until he saw her with another guy.
To his relief, Peter began to experience his small apartment somewhat more positively. Now it felt like a cozy place to read and enjoy time alone. His loneliness, too, began to abate to the point that some evenings he even preferred staying home alone to running out to activites with others lest he drown in the pain of loss.
Thanks for the advice. I forgot to mention last night after a stressful week I had some anxiety and said some insecure things to her while we were talking. Stuff along the line of “you were my best friend” and “second chance” were mentioned. I realized my mistake changed the subject almost immediately and continued to have a good conversation, but it was a moment of weakness nonetheless. Do I just continue on as normal?
I get the impression that your ex acts very immature and irrational because its her way of controlling the situation…. She plays games, blocks your number and Facebook out of spite and makes up lies about other men to make you feel bad. All tell-tale signs of her own insecurities…
When you pick her call, number one rule is, don’t be angry, depress or rude to her. If she calls you or visits your workplace, then make sure to act happy and cheerful. Acting this way will demonstrate your higher value. Again, this will increase her ‘fear of loss’ feeling and make you look like you have moved on.
Put your best foot forward. You’ve learned a lot from getting through your breakup, but you’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that you’ve also learned a lot from the time you spent with your ex-girlfriend, too: Once you’ve truly accepted your breakup, you’ll find that your last relationship was a goldmine of useful information for wooing your next crush. Here are a few of the basic things that should come more naturally to you than ever before when trying to pick up a date:
Embrace your hobbies and interests. Fill your free time with steady progress and small victories instead of stewing in your sadness and anger. Use the lists you made of your dreams, interests, and talents as a guide.
Finally she contacted back after NC. She said she is fine and she will be back but still need a bit more time for herself to recover. Her name is aparna and i love her. Thanks for your help AMOR. Couldn’t do it without you.
Thanks a lot for your advice. I’m just wondering if you maybe make it sound too easy by saying “5 steps to getting an ex back”… in my experience it can take months of work and still you may not win them back. Anyway thanks for the interesting read… Good luck all!
So my ex gf broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. She told me she just didn’t feel that way about me anymore. Her friend said I wasn’t trusting enough and a little to controlling. We were together for almost 2 years and we were both madly in love. She has another guy she hangs out with but i know she didn’t leave me for him. We can have a normal conversation. She’s even started it once or twice via text. How can I get her back. I love her more then I ever thought I could
You have to figure out whether his intentions are out of concern as a friend, or he actually likes you still, or just wants the benefits (hookup). Regardless, it would best for you to give him some space, considering you don’t know what his intentions are, and he may not know either. Apply the No Contact Rule and focus on yourself in the meantime. If he likes you, he will come back.
Your choices are practically limitless when it comes to relationship repair books. And I’ll be the first to admit — some are quite good. But nevertheless, here are the 2 main factors that set this course apart from any other: