Now she insists that she really missed it when we were “best friends” and remains in contact. She texts me constantly and wants to stay in touch, although shes not as warm anymore. I became really cold recently and just started giving short replies because she was acting the same way towards me. I don’t call her, she calls me. I dont text unless she texts me.
So with the above in mind, you can be certain that this will work for you – regardless of your age, or how complicated your situation is — and regardless of how ‘stubborn’ or ‘strong’ your girlfriend might be.
Listen to your friends and family. Although you might feel defensive, those who are close to you and know you well often have good insight into your relationships. If someone you know and trust has a bad feeling about your relationship, you should take that as an indication that there could be trouble.
Make sure you want your ex boyfriend back for the right reasons. Are you really still in love with him? If so, it might be worth trying to get him back, by showing him you still care and that you believe things will be better this time. Sometimes breaking up provides time for both people to realize that, more than anything, they just want to be together again. However, if you have any other reason for wanting your ex back, reexamine whether it’s a good idea to try to rekindle the relationship.
Letter To My Ex is run by journalist and blogger Rachel Smith. Write a letter of your own, read thousands of letters from all over the world or check out the latest on the blog, where we touch on everything to do with break-ups, exes, single life, dating and relationships in general. If you’d like to get in touch, you can email us here, or via post to LTME HQ, PO Box 464 Newtown NSW 2042.
Twitter won’t do it. I’m sure you can find people who will tell you differently, but my advice would still be to get to the point where you don’t feel a crippling need to get back with her. Work on yourself, get other awesome things going on in your life, meet new amazing women. If you want to date your ex from that position of abundance, you’ll be much more capable of it because you won’t be needy. But as long as you are begging and desperate it is going to be a near un-winnable battle
Hi the NC seems to be working. At work she told me she misses me and missed my kisses. She also hinted of wanting to get back together. What should I do? Should I continue the NC rule? or just go with the flow ?
Another factor that might hamper your decision to get her back is the level of maturity that the two of you demonstrate. Is your ex-girlfriend still the same? Or did she grow up like you, too? Did both of you make all the necessary changes to improve yourselves so when the time comes that you get back together, you can already make it work?
If you want to make yourself capable to win your ex back again then you have to stop blaming yourself. Breakups are part of relationship and even strongest couple sometime suffer from breakup as well. Just because you are suffering from breakup doesn’t mean you are bad person.
I saw many boys who change their opinions, likes, dislikes, hobbies, style etc just to impress his girlfriend. They think by doing so their girlfriends will like them that is completely wrong concept.
Assess your growth. Now that you’re truly over your ex-girlfriend enough that you don’t look at everything through breakup-colored glasses, you’re probably beginning to notice other women again. This is the perfect time to think back on your past relationship one more time, and realize how you’ve grown.
We agree to meet next week for me to pass her some stuffs-photos of us and letters-before going on no contact. Is this relationship a lost cause? I don’t want to let it go just like that. At the same time, I am unable to discern if what she’s saying now is due to her overwhelming hurt and disappointment.
Don’t beat yourself over it. These are all knee-jerk reactions after a breakup. The important thing is to realize they are mistakes and not do them again. Your relationship can still be saved if you don’t repeat these mistakes again. The best thing you can do to repair damage done is to follow step 2 diligently.
As you can see, Option Three provides the only option in which you do not end up crying softly. While there are many times you might want to text your ex, it’s rare that you truly need to. “That song we both like came on the radio” is not a good reason to text your ex. “I just saw the Hangover 2 — remember that time we were hung over?” is not a good reason to text your ex. “Mrow” is not a good reason to text your ex. I’m not saying you shouldn’t text her for a valid, honest reasons — even a simple congratulations is appropriate when it’s due. Just avoid texting your ex for stupid reasons.
2nd – It will create ‘fear of loss’ in your ex girlfriend’s mind. Your girlfriend will start thinking why he is not contacting me. She may start giving second-guessing to her decision for not contacting you and once she gets these feelings you will get good chance to get her back.
I’m 29 and my girlfriend of 4 years recently broke up with about a week ago. I’d say it was a strong relationship being there for each other with each others ups and downs. She told me she was no longer in love with me, but loves me, just not in that way anymore, and she told me that she’s only hurting me and herself by staying with me. Needless to say, I was shocked, stunned, blind sighted, hurt, heartbroken and didn’t know what to do. I tried speaking about it with her and asked her what brought this on and she said it’s been going on for a while since before our euro trip which was about 7-8 months ago and that her love for me just faded and faded. To be honest during our holiday I lost my phone and
Many people think that their breakup was a mistake, despite your feeling about the breakup but you should understand it occurs for a reason. You will never get your ex back unless you discover the exact REASON of the breakup. Don’t contact your ex without knowing the exact cause of the breakup.
Tactic 4 is very similar to tactic 3. Except this time instead of slipping in a compliment during a conversation you are going to slip in something that you have always appreciated about your ex. Here is a great example of an appreciation text:
Lets say that you are just an average looking guy. You aren’t terrible looking but you aren’t good looking either. If you were to rank really highly in the rest of the qualities in this section your looks wouldn’t really matter as much to women.
How hard this break up will be on you is up to you… you decide. If you buy into the conventional “wisdom” that all break ups are tragic and that mourning is part of healing then this break up could be very, very painful and drawn out. If, instead, you decide that you are not powerless over how you feel and that you will not let it bring you down you may have a much, much easier time.
“Human experience has not yet devised anything,” Peter wrote on an early email, “that can shield us from the pain of a broken love, the pain of feeling thrown out of your own world and out into the cold. Same as being born: I huddled in a very cosy place that was my natural place to be, then all of a sudden I am ejected into a new and hostile place, one that’s not where I felt at home. And there is nothing the baby can do but scream and cry and feel terrible.”