The Wrong Use Of Electronics Can Kill Your Relationship
We just saw an article sponsored from our friends at Match.com on another website that gave some pretty good advice on staying connected over the holidays when you each have to go separate directions.
There can be a lot of reasons why you are not going to each others families: time, distance or maybe you just are not quite serious enough yet to endure the whole “family” thing.
You want to stay connected with your new love, you do NOT want to lose him or her to someone new they might meet during their travels or someone they see after all of these years back in their hometown; BUT, you do not want to appear “clingy” or “needy” either. Sometimes it can be a fine line that you do NOT want to cross.
How Do You Know How Much To Keep In Touch?
Many see the need to CONSTANTLY be texting your love interest as a sign of immaturity. After all, what person out of school with a real job can be texting, constantly, all day long? Five letters, starts with a BIG “L”.
One great way to determine just how much to keep in touch is to talk about it with your partner before going your separate holiday ways. For many once per day by phone is perfect, some do not even need that much “reassurance” that all is well.
This holiday “separation” is a good opportunity to show each other that:
- You trust each other
- You are OK by yourself for a few days and it’s OK for them to have alone time too
Tips For Before Parting
There are any number of ways of showing your love and affection for the other half of your relationship, depending on how long you have been together and how close you are.
One idea is to actually plan a date for when you two get back. It can be dinner out, or a nice meal in; but think about a way to have some quiet time together do discuss your trips, how much you missed each other, even share photos for laughs or commiseration!
Another idea is to sneak something into your date’s luggage, whether it be a card, note or special little gift. Chocolate and other perishables probably are not the best idea since you never know what a suitcase might go through before getting to its destination. And make sure it’s nothing that will get him or her in hot water with TSA if flying!
Use Your Electronics Wisely
OK, here is some important advice about texting, email and phone. Young people usually don’t get this since they seem to expect every communication to require 3 hours of texting to straighten out misunderstandings, but more mature audiences can quickly see the wisdom.
- Texts: Perfect for relaying factual information like “flight delayed”, “landed safely”, “snowing here” – things like that. The intent cannot really be misinterpreted, does not require a response and will not likely have any negative repercussions.
- Email: No one likes texts so long they break up into pieces and sometimes get delivered in the wrong order. Longer messages can be a good candidate for email, but again, remember that emails lack tone, body language and other critical elements of communication that prevent misunderstandings – and arguments!
- Phone: When you absolutely, positively want to know that a) they got the message, and, b) what you said was interpreted correctly. Almost no one pays for minutes anymore, so why not call when appropriate? It’s OK if all you call for is to say “I love you, sweet dreams”. Just because you called does not mean you are expecting an hour long phone call.
- Skype: Probably a novelty if you both have a phone or laptop that supports video chat, but for long separations might be wise to look into once or twice during the time apart.
Using the right electronic method of communication can be critical, as communication is essential to a healthy relationship (more on that here).
If You Both Have Time To Kill
One of the neat options for staying connected over the holidays when you two are separated is the plethora of online games that you can play together from different corners of the globe. If you know that both of you will have downtime at around the same time, this could be a great way to kill the time and strengthen the relationship at the same time.
Don’t make a big stink if your date/partner cannot be with you over the holidays, that’s not an attribute most people are attracted to. Let him or her do what they need to do.
By using electronic communication wisely you can actually build your relationship in ways you couldn’t if you were together. If yours is a new relationship, you will be starting out building a strong foundation. If you have been together a while, it’s a great way to reinforce what hopefully you already know about each other.