So if your boyfriend or girlfriend gives you the “let’s stay friends” speech? What your ex is really doing here is asking for you to sit around and wait for them while they see if they can find someone or something better.
Everyone deserves to be happy and you shouldn’t settle for less just because you’ve ‘invested 5 years into the relationship and it would be a shame to give it up’. If you genuinely want to give it another shot, go ahead, but if the abuse continues and she does not change, I would suggest you be fair to yourself and walk away.
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I had a girlfriend of 4 years that started right before we both attended college. The sex was great, relationship was awesome, we both were givers. We even made it work while she attended school 7 1/2 hours away for an entire year. I recently moved 4 hours away for a job and as soon as I did, the relationship took a turn. It was a pain to get her to come visit me, and whenever I went and visited her I always had to hang with her and her friends. No alone time. We kept getting in fights and eventually she ended it by saying she wasn’t in love with me anymore. I went nuts for a few weeks until I found your work and initiated NC. She got back in touch with me after a few weeks and I arranged a date.
He can walk away and probably will if you treat him as property. Instead, view him as a customer. You want to make a loyal customer out of your boyfriend that isn’t forced to buy at your shop, but loves to “shop” at your store because he gets treated better than anywhere else. He then grows to need you, love you, and want you – every single day.
I write here today, after 25 days of not having seeing her. I dont know when she herself decided to call it quits, hence cant say how long it has been since the breakup. Yes it is living nightmare that she didnt even want to talk, leave alone meeting me for clearing out the things. The story began about 10 months ago wherein we connected via socia media platform and within a month we involved the family and decided to be along together. We had been knowing a little bit since bachelors, as we were together for 4 years…no friends but more of collegues. Both had feelings at that time…and hence 2 years later we connected on social media. Spent 8 months in long distance, with her studying in another country and me as well. We engaged in our home country..and things were going well kinda. We had our share of fights and misunderstandings, but I was less expressive of my discontent or anger as I didnt want to get her hurt. She was able to notice this. Let me tell you that this connect was, is and will remain soulful as I dont want to have anyone else than her. Now due to a major fight, the families got invilved and seperated us. I tried to reach her out through the friends and in the process ended up opening the things…our fights and the things I felt where I was wrong, and where she was…it was an attempt to reach out to her and make someone exolain her that I am going to be there for her always. This now, she misunderstands as my means of defaming her, breaking her trust and being immature to such an extent that she broke the relationship herself with less than a month of engagement…I know that its wrong of me to have taken other routes, but I myself was forbidden to reach directly…by her and my family…which she thinks now as my means of excuse. 2 days ago when after lot of discussions with her father, he let me have a word with her. Till now I believed that it would be some sort of family intervention that led to breakup…but it was her completely. With every word on the phone, she butchered my heart…telling me to move on, as she has already and what not…I did everything…begged her for fogiveness…begged to be in touch…but in vain……and in the end even as she said a formal good night…I told her..that I love her… no means of literature would ever convince me to move past her and dive into vast ocean…and have go with another girl. I have loved her and soulfully I have dedicated myself to her…a life will be short to seperate us…in good times, we said that to each other. I want to know, how much time should I take before approaching her again? What would bury the burns of this despair between us? Would she ever realise that breaking up over such a thing is just destructive? I have, I do and I will love her for and beyond this life…
If there is something that you have done wrong then you need to find the strength to apologize and admit the fault. If this is the case then this is not the time to try to come out on top to be right. A lot of people can feel vulnerable when they are apologizing, however there is great strength to be found in vulnerability.
Having said that, though, both partners can certainly contribute to infidelity. It’s like, if you’re happy with your job, and a headhunter calls, you don’t even talk to them…but if you’re unhappy, the stage is set for talking and walking.
Talk. Since communication problems are the number one cause of breakups, you need to work extra hard as a couple to ensure that you always keep lines of communication open. When you get back together, you need to take time to establish expectations, especially in areas that were problems before.
Like I said, I’m a normal guy, I don’t think about these things too much, but the book made some things very clear. When you break up, negative emotions like anger and hurt and sadness have built up to the point that one person calls it quits. Nothing shocking there. Kinda obvious, right?
Your ability to surprise your ex can make or break your chances of ultimately getting back together. In fact the element of surprise is so important in this process that when I’m asked how to get an ex back during one on one coaching sessions I sometimes simply answer surprise your ex! I obviously later go on to explain at great length why surprising an ex is important and how you should go about it!
I was filled with so much pride that I had no room for humility, within the three years apart I thought I had moved on and been in and out of failed affairs. I have learned, and since the beginning of the year 2017 I remained single because I wanted to find and fix myself, and be certain of what I needed out of life. During the distant and the process of self-intervention/discovery I completely cut out the little contact I managed to get with them in January, after months of silence and ignorance finding out she has moved on and doing quite well for herself, I desperately want them back and feel she is the one for me, and I have a family in them, I have done all the above mentioned deadly mistakes; “CALLING AND TEXTING HER ALL THE TIME, SHOWERING HER WITH AFFECTION, FREAKING OUT WHEN DATING OR GOING OUT” to get them back and even went to her home unannounced to speak to her and try to amend things, I am willing to do whatever it takes to get them back, after going there she told me she tried to make things work and still cared about me before but eventually felt like I couldn’t see how she felt, I was dumb-blinded before, I made forceful attempt to talk to her and she told me that “she has forgiven me but doesn’t want any relation with me, I should stop pestering, or trying to convince her otherwise, my chances with her are done, and if I want to restore the peace that is left in her for me, I will leave her alone and never come to her place again, me and her are done, I cannot force myself in her life and cannot force her into something she doesn’t want “We done”.
me n my ex have broken up for 6months already..we havnt seen each other in those months at all but durin those months weve exchanged several texts back n forth. until just a few days ago we met at a club. not sober and we all know what happened after that. so, the following weeks conversations on text boomed..like never durin the past 6months i kinda felt like we were textn like when we were dating again.. [otp_overlay]