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My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago because of the distance and the fact that he has lost feelings for me (about this he wasn’t really certain though…). I have accomplished NC succesfully and got in touch again with him in the begining of December. We started to have small talks, videochating occasionally and we have even achieved an active snap activity. However, recently, to be more exact, when going back to school he started to be distant and cold. I know that he has a lot of work as now he is in exam period, but he always replies short and almost after 24 or 16 hours, which is not typic of him.
My experience is that some abusers are genuinely willing to learn and to apply what they learn so that they cease their controlling and abusive ways (note: the controlling stance as well as the explicit abuse must change for the future to look promising).
It would depend on your knowledge regarding what she seeks for in life. If the financial security it something more important to her, then you might want to consider walking away as it will be hard to compete with her boss on this aspect. If you know that she may be going through a tough time, and merely needs momentary financial support desperately that you cannot provide, then you could consider a second shot if given the chance. However, do bear in mind that she walked away from you once already, and if you get back with her, she may do the same again if ever she needs something you cannot provide.
What would you suggest for me now? I bombarded him with texts and calls yesterday and then this morning I text him apologising for what he said, and I also said I wouldn’t contact him again. It’s been two and a half months since he contacted me. I’m so depressed. How do I go about this now? I think he might have found someone new.
Until maybe the last year everything seemed to changed the way she acted towards me the affection everything she eventually said I should move back to my mums after all this time because it was her house. We havent got back together since I begged her for ages but she wouldn’t have none of it . Then she went on holiday with her mum where we used to go and she messaged me saying she missed me and wanted to sort things out . I waited until she got back but now she has changed her mind again very frustrating she has a busy life with the kids and I no I was quite full on . I have left her alone now for the first time ever its been 4 days and I havent sent a text or a call I’m finding it hard but its my last option . Ive been going out running and trying to focus on me but always thinking about her. we agreed just to be friends but ive always text her in the past hopfully this time I dont and she texts me first.
To take the questionnaire, please click the radio button next to the selection which best reflects how each statement applies to you. The items refer to your experience of your partner’s behaviour during your relationship. (Please be sure to check the Additional Information and Note on Validity below.)
My boyfriend broke up with after 5 1/2 months of dating. We met on a dating site and we hit it off immediately. We had amazing dates and talks. We had a powerful connection immediately. I met his dad he met my dad. He lives 45 minutes away from me but we still saw each other every 10 days or so, sometimes more frequent. He wanted to be exclusive after date 3. We talked about taking trips in the future and other plans. We did have the where is this going talk and it seemed we were on the same page. His job was taking a lot out of him and he was definitely stressed. I pulled back a little to not give him any pressure. His Good morning texts and Goodnight texts were becoming less. Then he didn’t text or call for 3 days. He seemed very distant the last couple of weeks. I ended up texting him about why he wont talk to me and whats going on. He then called the next morning and broke up with me. He said he is still grieving his divorce ( from a year ago) and feels fear. He started counseling and he said they talk about me. He loves and fears me. He needed time to figure things out but he ended it, no maybe’s or well see.
You guys weren’t together for a long time so him moving on would be dependent on how meaningful the 2 months were. Typically someone blocking you would be his way of wanting to avoid you, and this could because you were acting needy by trying to change his mind. Continue with NC but spend this time to work on your issues, and at the end of it, if he has unblocked you, you could try initiating contact to see where he stands. Bear in mind that there is a small likelihood he has moved on already due to the length of the relationship, and may have blocked you as a way of ‘indicating’ those feelings.
Afterwards we texted for almost three consecutive days, but we both agreed that it felt weird and decided to text each other every other day for the whole day. We both have every intention of finally meeting up on Christmas. She’s said she’s really wanting to focus on school right now, which I completely respect, but I do want to get her back. I want to prove to her that I can not be a clingy, jealous, insecure guy! Are the steps we are taking the appropriate ones?
Actually, in my research I found that a lot of experts recommend calling (after the no contact period.) I have read multiple stories of women who have actually had some success with this method. However, I don’t like the phone for a lot of reasons. First off, it doesn’t give you time to think. The second your ex boyfriend picks up (if he even picks up) you have to be on your toes and there is a lot that can go wrong. Not to mention he still may be a little resentful about the break up.
Text messages are great for building attraction with your ex. They are short, they are personal and you can be sure your ex will read your texts. If used correctly, you can condition your ex to light up in excitement whenever they see a message from you. (Read this more detailed article on getting your ex back with text messages.)
Getting dumped sucks. I feel for you but don’t worry we are going to take a look at your breakup and figure out the best way to approach things. Again, I want to reiterate this point- don’t assume that the reason your ex gave you for the break up is really why they broke up with you. This may sound a bit mean but you are going to have to be completely honest with yourself and possibly look at things that may make you uncomfortable.